Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season, enjoying it with family and friends and loved ones.
I can't believe I haven't posted on here in exactly a month. I have been busy with the holidays and in that holiday craziness daze.....having fun all month long with friends and family and the kids. I had a lunch holiday party at my house with 20 friends. We played LCR and did a gift exchange too. It was so fun, lots of laughs. Then the next day I let my kids have a holiday party at my house with their friends. Notice I had the grown-up party first, then the kids' party the next day! Otherwise my house would have been a mess for my friends! Then parties for Dave's work and other get-togethers with girlfriends has made for a fun, festive month.
I took the kids to the mall to see Santa and get the annual Santa pic. Cambria freaked out and screamed like crazy when she saw Santa. They took a quick picture, she is crying in it, Santa barely had time to ask the boys what they want for Christmas! I gave up after one try, I did not want to torture her. I did not see her warming up to Santa any time soon! Maybe next year.
We had a nice day today celebrating Christmas. Dave has to work 2-11 PM today, which is a bummer. But I'm thankful he has a job. We celebrated Christmas with my family on Sunday. Dave's dad is here at my house now, his first Christmas as a widower. So sad. It's just not the same without my MIL here too. Yesterday afternoon after Dave got home from work and on the way to church, D and I looked at each other and said "What are we going to have for dinner tomorrow on Christmas?!" LOL! We hadn't even thought about it! So afterwards we ran to the grocery store and managed to whip up some turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, pecan pie, etc. for today. I high-fived him and told him I was proud of us and I felt like we were 23 & 24 years old again trying to figure out the whole holiday cooking thing like when we were younger! I am used to my parents making the holiday meals. ;) Although, this year, while he was cooking the food, I was running around chasing 4 kids and trying to clean up some of the wrapping paper & toys mess and doing laundry and getting Zack packed up for a baseball camp he's going to over the winter break!
Ahhhh, the life of parents with 4 kids and a husband who works insane hours, even over the holidays. Again, I'm grateful he has a good job, but I just wish he was home more. I miss him when he's gone.
My 44th birthday is on Sunday. I am less than thrilled. 44 seems so old. But at least I am healthy.
The sick family member I mentioned in previous posts is in the midst of 33 radiation treatments and 7 chemo treatments. One more month to go. They can do it, they can do it. I have faith. And hope. Because without faith and hope, what else have you got?
Best wishes to everyone in 2015. I hope everyone has good health. I know I whine a lot on this blog (mostly about the way I am treated by certain "family members", but I am thankful for the good things I do have in my life. xoxo
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
A Major Milestone
Cambria went pee pee on the potty 2 days ago- she was exactly 2 years and 2 months old! She also went again yesterday! And she ran to sit on the potty when we got home from going out to dinner after Zack's basketball game tonight! This is incredible! She is totally initiating this whole potty training thing. Everyone told me potty training girls was much easier than boys....my boys wouldn't even stand near the toilet until they were 3! Lol! We are not pushing the potty training issue on her at all, she wants to do it!
Zack got his report card for grading period 2 the other day, and he got straight A's again. Whew!
I can check Jacob's grades online and he has straight A's.
Joshua is in 1st grade, and they don't do A's B's C's yet, they only do E's and S's and N's and I's on their report cards. He is in the top reading group. He is a math whiz and can do a lot of math problems in his head.
Zack kicked butt at his last fall travel baseball game of the season a few weeks ago, and got a game ball! So proud of him.
Life seems perfect right now, doesn't it?! Ha ha things are never perfect in anyone's life, I am just choosing to focus on the positives now. There is that lingering issue of the sick family member with stage 4 cancer that wishes to remain anonymous. Very hard to deal with that when you are forbidden to tell anyone about it. I mean, I can talk to D about it, but he just lost his mother last month. God, I can't believe my MIL has been gone for a month already. My FIL is coming out to visit pretty soon for a few months. The kids love playing with him.
I have finally started working out again. After months of being persuaded to go to this new class, I finally have gone the last 3 weeks in a row! It's a 90 minute class...half cross fit and half spinning class. Good Lord, 90 minutes and I'm still alive to tell about it! Ha ha! It helps that 2 of my friends teach the class.
November is national adoption month. As always, I am thinking about Cambria's birth mom and also her entire birth family. I'm sure they all feel the loss of one of their "own" not growing up with them. I'm happy we have an open adoption and they can watch her grow up across the miles. We keep talking about trying to get back to NC to visit her birth family, but I just don't know when we will have the time. We are going to Hawaii for 2 weeks this summer....part of the time in Maui with 2 families we are friends with and their kids, then we are trying out the new Dis.ney Aul.ani resort on Oa.hu! It looks amazing! D doesn't get any more time off this summer. I told him he needed to take off Zack's bday in June, but he thinks he can only get the early shift that day. Bummer.
The vacation might be a little over the top, but one thing we have learned is that life is short. Order the dessert. Enjoy life. This time last year, we had no idea D's mom had terminal cancer and would be gone soon and not around to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas this year with her husband, kids and grandchildren.
I am going to start addressing holiday cards this weekend....after the turkey dinner. And not a minute before!
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Wishing you all wonderful time spent with your families and good health. It really is priceless.
Zack got his report card for grading period 2 the other day, and he got straight A's again. Whew!
I can check Jacob's grades online and he has straight A's.
Joshua is in 1st grade, and they don't do A's B's C's yet, they only do E's and S's and N's and I's on their report cards. He is in the top reading group. He is a math whiz and can do a lot of math problems in his head.
Zack kicked butt at his last fall travel baseball game of the season a few weeks ago, and got a game ball! So proud of him.
Life seems perfect right now, doesn't it?! Ha ha things are never perfect in anyone's life, I am just choosing to focus on the positives now. There is that lingering issue of the sick family member with stage 4 cancer that wishes to remain anonymous. Very hard to deal with that when you are forbidden to tell anyone about it. I mean, I can talk to D about it, but he just lost his mother last month. God, I can't believe my MIL has been gone for a month already. My FIL is coming out to visit pretty soon for a few months. The kids love playing with him.
I have finally started working out again. After months of being persuaded to go to this new class, I finally have gone the last 3 weeks in a row! It's a 90 minute class...half cross fit and half spinning class. Good Lord, 90 minutes and I'm still alive to tell about it! Ha ha! It helps that 2 of my friends teach the class.
November is national adoption month. As always, I am thinking about Cambria's birth mom and also her entire birth family. I'm sure they all feel the loss of one of their "own" not growing up with them. I'm happy we have an open adoption and they can watch her grow up across the miles. We keep talking about trying to get back to NC to visit her birth family, but I just don't know when we will have the time. We are going to Hawaii for 2 weeks this summer....part of the time in Maui with 2 families we are friends with and their kids, then we are trying out the new Dis.ney Aul.ani resort on Oa.hu! It looks amazing! D doesn't get any more time off this summer. I told him he needed to take off Zack's bday in June, but he thinks he can only get the early shift that day. Bummer.
The vacation might be a little over the top, but one thing we have learned is that life is short. Order the dessert. Enjoy life. This time last year, we had no idea D's mom had terminal cancer and would be gone soon and not around to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas this year with her husband, kids and grandchildren.
I am going to start addressing holiday cards this weekend....after the turkey dinner. And not a minute before!
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Wishing you all wonderful time spent with your families and good health. It really is priceless.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween! We had a fun night trick-or-treating with the kids and their friends and our friends. Then we went out for a family dinner.
This month has been a horrible month, truth be told. Other than our 16th anniversary, this month has sucked ass. To put it frankly.
Dave's SIL died from cancer.
My MIL died exactly a week later from cancer.
They both passed away over the noon hour.
D and I went back east for the funeral and had an unpleasant encounter with D's brother, niece and her boyfriend.
They were horribly rude. All 3 of them.
And after the restaurant after the cemetery service, about 40 family members went to dinner at a restaurant and we were in the banquet room. My phone was stolen off the table and was found destroyed, soaking wet with the Otter Box cover taken off of it and at the bottom of the trash can in the men's restroom at the restaurant. The surveillance cameras don't extend into the banquet room so we don't know for sure who did it. But based on their location in the room and their vendetta against me, I'm pretty sure it was one or two or three of 3 possible people. I was a victim of a crime after a family funeral, for God's sake. Theft and destruction of property. Nice. I never named names at the family dinner of who I suspected stole and damaged my phone.
So this next part is funny/interesting/sad.......D's niece went up to D and said that I implied she stole my phone and she had nothing to do with it! Funny thing is, I never implied that she had anything to do with it. Guilty conscience, much?! I'm sure she is NOT the one who threw it in the men's restroom trashcan. It had to be a man. Then D's brother told his sister that he saw my comment on FB that I posted on my SIL's post about my phone. And he said that I edited my comment. SO darn creepy, I tell ya. I never posted anything about the phone incident on my own FB acct. My SIL did, and I just commented on it and I did edit it. But here's the even creepier part..... Who is stalking my FB comments on someone else's FB page? Who is taking screen shots and sending them to my BIL? Who is the loser that has nothing better to do than stalk me about what comments I make and tattle?! And I never named names on FB about who I suspected stole and damaged my phone. Again, guilty conscience, much?! Hey, if the shoe fits....lace it up and wear it for God's sake. That's all I'm saying. I'm not accusing them of stealing and destroying my phone....along with the pictures from the cemetery on my phone. I'm just recounting how they both took the time and effort to say they had nothing to do with it. Even though we didn't directly approach them about it.
My dog had her surgery for the mass in her leg that ate away 2/3 of her femur bone and had a skin graft.
Another family member is sick with cancer now.
Thank God a new month is beginning tomorrow. I can't take any more bad news this month.
This month has been a horrible month, truth be told. Other than our 16th anniversary, this month has sucked ass. To put it frankly.
Dave's SIL died from cancer.
My MIL died exactly a week later from cancer.
They both passed away over the noon hour.
D and I went back east for the funeral and had an unpleasant encounter with D's brother, niece and her boyfriend.
They were horribly rude. All 3 of them.
And after the restaurant after the cemetery service, about 40 family members went to dinner at a restaurant and we were in the banquet room. My phone was stolen off the table and was found destroyed, soaking wet with the Otter Box cover taken off of it and at the bottom of the trash can in the men's restroom at the restaurant. The surveillance cameras don't extend into the banquet room so we don't know for sure who did it. But based on their location in the room and their vendetta against me, I'm pretty sure it was one or two or three of 3 possible people. I was a victim of a crime after a family funeral, for God's sake. Theft and destruction of property. Nice. I never named names at the family dinner of who I suspected stole and damaged my phone.
So this next part is funny/interesting/sad.......D's niece went up to D and said that I implied she stole my phone and she had nothing to do with it! Funny thing is, I never implied that she had anything to do with it. Guilty conscience, much?! I'm sure she is NOT the one who threw it in the men's restroom trashcan. It had to be a man. Then D's brother told his sister that he saw my comment on FB that I posted on my SIL's post about my phone. And he said that I edited my comment. SO darn creepy, I tell ya. I never posted anything about the phone incident on my own FB acct. My SIL did, and I just commented on it and I did edit it. But here's the even creepier part..... Who is stalking my FB comments on someone else's FB page? Who is taking screen shots and sending them to my BIL? Who is the loser that has nothing better to do than stalk me about what comments I make and tattle?! And I never named names on FB about who I suspected stole and damaged my phone. Again, guilty conscience, much?! Hey, if the shoe fits....lace it up and wear it for God's sake. That's all I'm saying. I'm not accusing them of stealing and destroying my phone....along with the pictures from the cemetery on my phone. I'm just recounting how they both took the time and effort to say they had nothing to do with it. Even though we didn't directly approach them about it.
My dog had her surgery for the mass in her leg that ate away 2/3 of her femur bone and had a skin graft.
Another family member is sick with cancer now.
Thank God a new month is beginning tomorrow. I can't take any more bad news this month.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
The End of A Story
I think I wrote my last post late Sunday night (after midnight). Dave's SIL passed away on Monday afternoon. Her daughter barely made it home in time from overseas on Sunday night to see her and say goodbye. Her mother was unresponsive and didn't get to say anything to her daughter.
Her funeral was today. We did not go. Her last words to me on this earth a month ago when she spewed venomous words at me for 40 minutes were, "You are a cancer in this family." (Interesting choice of words from a cancer patient, no?) And then she screamed "F-You" at me, and that is when I finally chose to end the phone call and not take her verbal nastiness anymore. My brother-in-law's last words to me during that phone call were, "You are not a member of this family anymore. Nobody likes you."
Last week I found out they told my in-laws they would never accept my daughter into the family after we brought her home.
Imagine that. A little 7 lb 3 oz baby.....they were so threatened by the mere thought of my daughter that they would never accept her into the family? Grow up people, for God's sake.
I'm sure that the reason they said this (and held true to their word of not accepting my daughter into the family and barely acknowledging her existence) was because she took away their daughter's position of being the only granddaughter on that side of the family. Jealousy rearing it's ugly head. Sigh....
And we found out they were talking sh*t about us behind our backs for the past 2 years at least. D talked to his brother and told him all the reasons we would not be at the funeral. That we're sure she told her family just her side of the story....she probably didn't tell them the whole story- about the things she said and did to me. So her family would probably cause a scene if we showed up to the funeral. His brother said he understood and wasn't mad. He didn't even try and say that stuff wasn't true.
So my thoughts on this event......
I am sorry she died. I am sorry she had to suffer through that awful disease. I am sorry her daughter is left without a mother at such a young age. I wish I knew why she hated me so much. D and I have gone over this so many times.....trying to think of any reason why she hated me so much. I have honestly never done anything to her in the almost 21 years that I knew her to warrant her thinking so poorly of me. It is sad. The whole situation is beyond sad. I never in a million years would have thought D and I and our kids wouldn't have attended her funeral. My real SIL didn't go either. And my in-laws didn't go....my MIL is way too sick to travel and my FIL didn't want to leave her alone. So none of the immediate family was at the funeral on our side.
I posted a quick thing on FB about her passing. People ask me all the time how she is doing, so I figured I'd write a post about it to inform everyone at once. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, just kind of matter-of-fact. People were so kind and posted such sweet and supportive messages. I kind of felt like a fraud. But how do I post on FB that in reality, my SIL was a really mean person to me and in the end she told me she'd never liked me? So I just thanked everyone for the kind words and kept it short and sweet.
We tried to patch things up with her in the summer. That backfired. My in-laws tried to get everyone together this spring. They refused. We said we would go and would be nice and polite.
Sometimes I get sick of being told to forgive and forget and be the bigger person. It really didn't get us anywhere with them.
BTW, she had the same brain tumor as the girl whose story has gone viral recently who moved to a state that has dying with dignity laws. The girl in the news does not want to experience the horrific suffering that comes with this brain tumor. D's SIL was unresponsive the last week of her life. It happened suddenly, so she didn't have time to say goodbye to everyone. She suffered a lot in the end. It was a horrible way to finish out her days on this earth. I still don't think I could ever do it. I don't have the guts to do it. But I also have 4 young kids who rely on me...a lot. I would fight my hardest to spend as much time as possible with them.
OK now that I've written the end of the story....her story.....on my blog, I am putting it to rest. I am not going to talk about her anymore. I can ask myself the same question of why she hated me a million times, and I will never have the answer. I wish things had ended differently. I wish we had made up and were on good terms when she passed. I really do. But wishes don't always come true.
Her funeral was today. We did not go. Her last words to me on this earth a month ago when she spewed venomous words at me for 40 minutes were, "You are a cancer in this family." (Interesting choice of words from a cancer patient, no?) And then she screamed "F-You" at me, and that is when I finally chose to end the phone call and not take her verbal nastiness anymore. My brother-in-law's last words to me during that phone call were, "You are not a member of this family anymore. Nobody likes you."
Last week I found out they told my in-laws they would never accept my daughter into the family after we brought her home.
Imagine that. A little 7 lb 3 oz baby.....they were so threatened by the mere thought of my daughter that they would never accept her into the family? Grow up people, for God's sake.
I'm sure that the reason they said this (and held true to their word of not accepting my daughter into the family and barely acknowledging her existence) was because she took away their daughter's position of being the only granddaughter on that side of the family. Jealousy rearing it's ugly head. Sigh....
And we found out they were talking sh*t about us behind our backs for the past 2 years at least. D talked to his brother and told him all the reasons we would not be at the funeral. That we're sure she told her family just her side of the story....she probably didn't tell them the whole story- about the things she said and did to me. So her family would probably cause a scene if we showed up to the funeral. His brother said he understood and wasn't mad. He didn't even try and say that stuff wasn't true.
So my thoughts on this event......
I am sorry she died. I am sorry she had to suffer through that awful disease. I am sorry her daughter is left without a mother at such a young age. I wish I knew why she hated me so much. D and I have gone over this so many times.....trying to think of any reason why she hated me so much. I have honestly never done anything to her in the almost 21 years that I knew her to warrant her thinking so poorly of me. It is sad. The whole situation is beyond sad. I never in a million years would have thought D and I and our kids wouldn't have attended her funeral. My real SIL didn't go either. And my in-laws didn't go....my MIL is way too sick to travel and my FIL didn't want to leave her alone. So none of the immediate family was at the funeral on our side.
I posted a quick thing on FB about her passing. People ask me all the time how she is doing, so I figured I'd write a post about it to inform everyone at once. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, just kind of matter-of-fact. People were so kind and posted such sweet and supportive messages. I kind of felt like a fraud. But how do I post on FB that in reality, my SIL was a really mean person to me and in the end she told me she'd never liked me? So I just thanked everyone for the kind words and kept it short and sweet.
We tried to patch things up with her in the summer. That backfired. My in-laws tried to get everyone together this spring. They refused. We said we would go and would be nice and polite.
Sometimes I get sick of being told to forgive and forget and be the bigger person. It really didn't get us anywhere with them.
BTW, she had the same brain tumor as the girl whose story has gone viral recently who moved to a state that has dying with dignity laws. The girl in the news does not want to experience the horrific suffering that comes with this brain tumor. D's SIL was unresponsive the last week of her life. It happened suddenly, so she didn't have time to say goodbye to everyone. She suffered a lot in the end. It was a horrible way to finish out her days on this earth. I still don't think I could ever do it. I don't have the guts to do it. But I also have 4 young kids who rely on me...a lot. I would fight my hardest to spend as much time as possible with them.
OK now that I've written the end of the story....her story.....on my blog, I am putting it to rest. I am not going to talk about her anymore. I can ask myself the same question of why she hated me a million times, and I will never have the answer. I wish things had ended differently. I wish we had made up and were on good terms when she passed. I really do. But wishes don't always come true.
Monday, October 13, 2014
October Update
So much going on here! And not all of it has been good. My 7th grader who is at a new school in town this year (Ba.sis) got his 1st quarter report card recently, and he got straight A's! He has 9 different classes, one of them being Mandarin! My 4th grader got straight A's too! Still waiting to see my 1st grader's report card. I'm so proud of those kids. They work hard.
My MIL has stage 4 ovarian cancer. We recently went back East to visit with her over the kids' fall break. She is pretty weak and thin and sits in her recliner all day. Barely eats or drinks anything. She just got a hospital bed the other day. I'm glad we got to see her. Friday is our 16 year anniversary. I have known her for almost 21 years. It is so sad that she won't be around for much longer. When we were saying goodbye, she hugged me and said, "Enjoy my grandchildren."
OH. MY. GOD. Tears and tears on my end after that comment. She won't get to see her grandchildren again.
Dave's SIL (the one who is so mean and nasty to me) who has the brain tumor.....I mentioned she called me up last month and chewed me a new one. Well this past week she went into hospice. Her tumor grew and she had complications and wasn't very responsive. We won't, however, get to say goodbye to her. Dave's brother didn't even call him with the update- D's father told us. Good Lord, I am so sick of family drama.
My sweet 2-year-old dog.....she has a mass on her femur that ate away 2/3 of her bone. She is having surgery soon to clean out the mass (it might be from valley fever) and do a bone graft from her shoulder bone I think. Hopefully this will work and she won't have to have her leg amputated.
My brother is getting married in February. I'm so excited to have a new SIL. I'm also excited for them to have kids so my kids can have some cousins!
I got to see my childhood besties when we were back East, so that was nice. D got to see his childhood friends too.
Other than that, our lives are filled with baseball, soccer, tennis, homework, friends, playdates, mommy & me dance and also music class with Cambria, and time with the kids.
I haven't mentioned anything in this post about our open adoption....not too, too much to report. Things are going well. I had a photo book made for Cambria's 2nd birthday and I am going to mail it this week to her birth mom. I also want to get pictures printed to mail to her two birth grandmas.
I can't wait to celebrate 16 years with the hubster on Friday!
My MIL has stage 4 ovarian cancer. We recently went back East to visit with her over the kids' fall break. She is pretty weak and thin and sits in her recliner all day. Barely eats or drinks anything. She just got a hospital bed the other day. I'm glad we got to see her. Friday is our 16 year anniversary. I have known her for almost 21 years. It is so sad that she won't be around for much longer. When we were saying goodbye, she hugged me and said, "Enjoy my grandchildren."
OH. MY. GOD. Tears and tears on my end after that comment. She won't get to see her grandchildren again.
Dave's SIL (the one who is so mean and nasty to me) who has the brain tumor.....I mentioned she called me up last month and chewed me a new one. Well this past week she went into hospice. Her tumor grew and she had complications and wasn't very responsive. We won't, however, get to say goodbye to her. Dave's brother didn't even call him with the update- D's father told us. Good Lord, I am so sick of family drama.
My sweet 2-year-old dog.....she has a mass on her femur that ate away 2/3 of her bone. She is having surgery soon to clean out the mass (it might be from valley fever) and do a bone graft from her shoulder bone I think. Hopefully this will work and she won't have to have her leg amputated.
My brother is getting married in February. I'm so excited to have a new SIL. I'm also excited for them to have kids so my kids can have some cousins!
I got to see my childhood besties when we were back East, so that was nice. D got to see his childhood friends too.
Other than that, our lives are filled with baseball, soccer, tennis, homework, friends, playdates, mommy & me dance and also music class with Cambria, and time with the kids.
I haven't mentioned anything in this post about our open adoption....not too, too much to report. Things are going well. I had a photo book made for Cambria's 2nd birthday and I am going to mail it this week to her birth mom. I also want to get pictures printed to mail to her two birth grandmas.
I can't wait to celebrate 16 years with the hubster on Friday!
Monday, September 22, 2014
Almost 2!
Tomorrow is my baby girl's 2nd birthday. Unbelievable that she has been in our lives for 2 years already! She has brightened my days and my life. Don't get me wrong, I love those boys of mine. But having daughter is different. She calls me "mom-mom"! I love it! She calls Dave "dada". She calls Zack "Kack" and she says Josh perfectly "Josh". She doesn't really say Jacob. She calls Sophie "Fo Fo" (We sometimes call Sophie "So So".) She calls Laney our other dog "Layna". She knows who Jacob is, she must just have a hard time saying his name.
We had her birthday party yesterday at the pool in our little sub-division with a bunch of our family friends and their kids. So much fun. Tomorrow I'm having a little playdate with some of her 2 year old friends at this indoor play place. We did the Hello Kitty theme this year. I figure she has many years ahead of her to do the Princess theme! ;)
2 years ago today, I knew for exactly one day that we were matched with her birth mom. I felt like I was keeping the biggest secret on the planet! She wasn't due until October 10th, so I thought I still had some more time to get ready for her arrival. I remember on this day 2 years ago thinking the whole situation sounded too good to be true. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for someone to rain on my parade and shatter my dreams. I wouldn't talk to her birth mom for the first time until the following day, her birthday, a few hours before she was born. So surreal. To this day I sometimes can't believe that I put on my big girl panties and got on that red eye flight all by myself and went to the hospital in NC all by myself to meet my baby girl and a hospital room full of strangers.....who have now become extended family to me. I can't believe that I was a witness to the most extraordinary event to occur. That this young woman would trust Dave and me enough to place her child with us to raise her....as if born to us.....by adoption. The adoption paperwork says something to that effect that she is legally our daughter and entitled to family land, etc. as if born to us.
I've said this before, but that memory of the 4 of us in that hospital room.....Cambria's 4 parents....2 by birth and 2 by adoption......hugging and saying goodbye will be forever burned into my memory. And the tears. All of the tears that were shed by all 4 of us. It is not something I take lightly. It would literally kill me to have to say goodbye to my child that I had just delivered and give her to strangers that lived across the country. And here, this young woman, who is so much younger than me, chose to do this and was so strong and brave in that hospital room and put on her big girl panties and signed those relinquishment papers with confidence.
I am in awe of her.
I talked to her the other day. We talked a little bit about our birthday party plans for Cami's bday party. She said she still does NOT regret her decision to place her baby for adoption. She said she misses her, but doesn't regret her choice.
We are still trying to get to NC. Turns out it's kind of hard to fly across the country with 4 kids! This fall is so busy every weekend. And we are going to Ohio soon to visit Dave's mom who has stage 4 ovarian cancer and recently found out she is not a candidate for chemo. So with that being said, her time is limited. I explained this to Cambria's birth mom and she understood and said to let her know when we could make it out there to visit. Pretty soon it will be cold and I am not a fan of flying when there is a possibility of snow and ice. I may have spent the first part of my life in OH, but I'm an AZ girl now through and through. ;)
I know a lot of adoptees feel that they are unloved and unwanted by their birth moms. I am so happy that I know the truth about Cambria and her birth mom and her birth father. She was wanted by them....very much and she is loved by them to this day. Also her birth grandmas love her too and sent happy birthday wishes on Face.book. I get a little jealous when some of my adoptive mom friends post pics of cards and letters and birthday gifts their birth mom sent them and Cambria probably won't get anything more than the FB birthday wishes. But it's the thought that counts, right? I know her NC family is all thinking of her, and Cambria certainly doesn't need any more gifts. I am going to make her birth mom a Shutter.fly picture book after I take pictures of her tomorrow on her actual birthday. I will get pictures printed also and sent them to her birth grandmas and her adoptive grandmas and her aunt (D's sister).
I can't wait to see my birthday girl tomorrow morning when she wakes up and celebrate her! Her birth mom made an interesting and insightful comment in the hospital....she said she could have chosen to have an abortion, but instead chose to give her baby life and chose adoption.
Powerful words.
I am feeling very nostalgic and tearful on this evening before her 2nd birthday. I love that little girl so much, even though she is already having 2 year old temper tantrums! Haha!
And maybe someday I will figure out how to post a picture on my new computer.
On a side note, if you've read all my posts, you'd know that D's SIL and I don't exactly get along. Well, I finally got the chance to talk to her a couple weeks ago. There's 40 minutes of my life that I won't ever get back. Sigh.... She called me and literally screamed at me. Yes, this is the chic with the stage 4 brain tumor that has come back again. She sounded anything but weak and feeble and fragile on the phone. I think she thought I was just going to let her scream at me and insult me and not say anything back. WRONG. I took this chance to try and defend myself and make her see that she is in the wrong here and out of line. Oh and she wrote the most hideous and nasty comments to me on a FB post that my SIL posted. My SIL deleted the post and comments. I actually wrote a huge blog post about it, and decided not to post it. I do not like to be mean to people and I feel bad that I said some not-so-nice things to her, but the truth hurts and I am a truth teller. I was hoping that eventually we would all just be able to get along and have things be peaceful between us. WRONG again. I have apologized to her multiple times (even though I don't feel I was in the wrong and still no apologies from her.) Sigh.....
She was so irrational on the phone. It was actually a little bit concerning how irrational she was. She would not listen to reason on any issue I brought up to her and called her out on. I have chosen not to talk to her again. The whole situation is so sad. Anyways, it's over and done with. And then she started picking fights with other members of D's family. So it's not just me. But one last thing....in case you were wondering why she got so mad at me & called me and yelled at me and hurled insults at me.....my real SIL posted a picture of my daughter on her FB page and I commented and thanked her for being the best aunt to my kids (even if she was their only aunt!) and D's SIL went ballistic after she read that. My SIL and I both asked her why she was so mad because she has refused to acknowledge my kids' existence for almost 2 years. Of course she had no answers to the hard questions I asked her. It just makes me sad that Cambria's legal aunt and her cousin refuse to acknowledge her existence. Fortunately, my daughter has plenty of other people that love her- the remainder of her adoptive family and all of her birth family.
Today is my baby girl's last day of being one year old!!
We had her birthday party yesterday at the pool in our little sub-division with a bunch of our family friends and their kids. So much fun. Tomorrow I'm having a little playdate with some of her 2 year old friends at this indoor play place. We did the Hello Kitty theme this year. I figure she has many years ahead of her to do the Princess theme! ;)
2 years ago today, I knew for exactly one day that we were matched with her birth mom. I felt like I was keeping the biggest secret on the planet! She wasn't due until October 10th, so I thought I still had some more time to get ready for her arrival. I remember on this day 2 years ago thinking the whole situation sounded too good to be true. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for someone to rain on my parade and shatter my dreams. I wouldn't talk to her birth mom for the first time until the following day, her birthday, a few hours before she was born. So surreal. To this day I sometimes can't believe that I put on my big girl panties and got on that red eye flight all by myself and went to the hospital in NC all by myself to meet my baby girl and a hospital room full of strangers.....who have now become extended family to me. I can't believe that I was a witness to the most extraordinary event to occur. That this young woman would trust Dave and me enough to place her child with us to raise her....as if born to us.....by adoption. The adoption paperwork says something to that effect that she is legally our daughter and entitled to family land, etc. as if born to us.
I've said this before, but that memory of the 4 of us in that hospital room.....Cambria's 4 parents....2 by birth and 2 by adoption......hugging and saying goodbye will be forever burned into my memory. And the tears. All of the tears that were shed by all 4 of us. It is not something I take lightly. It would literally kill me to have to say goodbye to my child that I had just delivered and give her to strangers that lived across the country. And here, this young woman, who is so much younger than me, chose to do this and was so strong and brave in that hospital room and put on her big girl panties and signed those relinquishment papers with confidence.
I am in awe of her.
I talked to her the other day. We talked a little bit about our birthday party plans for Cami's bday party. She said she still does NOT regret her decision to place her baby for adoption. She said she misses her, but doesn't regret her choice.
We are still trying to get to NC. Turns out it's kind of hard to fly across the country with 4 kids! This fall is so busy every weekend. And we are going to Ohio soon to visit Dave's mom who has stage 4 ovarian cancer and recently found out she is not a candidate for chemo. So with that being said, her time is limited. I explained this to Cambria's birth mom and she understood and said to let her know when we could make it out there to visit. Pretty soon it will be cold and I am not a fan of flying when there is a possibility of snow and ice. I may have spent the first part of my life in OH, but I'm an AZ girl now through and through. ;)
I know a lot of adoptees feel that they are unloved and unwanted by their birth moms. I am so happy that I know the truth about Cambria and her birth mom and her birth father. She was wanted by them....very much and she is loved by them to this day. Also her birth grandmas love her too and sent happy birthday wishes on Face.book. I get a little jealous when some of my adoptive mom friends post pics of cards and letters and birthday gifts their birth mom sent them and Cambria probably won't get anything more than the FB birthday wishes. But it's the thought that counts, right? I know her NC family is all thinking of her, and Cambria certainly doesn't need any more gifts. I am going to make her birth mom a Shutter.fly picture book after I take pictures of her tomorrow on her actual birthday. I will get pictures printed also and sent them to her birth grandmas and her adoptive grandmas and her aunt (D's sister).
I can't wait to see my birthday girl tomorrow morning when she wakes up and celebrate her! Her birth mom made an interesting and insightful comment in the hospital....she said she could have chosen to have an abortion, but instead chose to give her baby life and chose adoption.
Powerful words.
I am feeling very nostalgic and tearful on this evening before her 2nd birthday. I love that little girl so much, even though she is already having 2 year old temper tantrums! Haha!
And maybe someday I will figure out how to post a picture on my new computer.
On a side note, if you've read all my posts, you'd know that D's SIL and I don't exactly get along. Well, I finally got the chance to talk to her a couple weeks ago. There's 40 minutes of my life that I won't ever get back. Sigh.... She called me and literally screamed at me. Yes, this is the chic with the stage 4 brain tumor that has come back again. She sounded anything but weak and feeble and fragile on the phone. I think she thought I was just going to let her scream at me and insult me and not say anything back. WRONG. I took this chance to try and defend myself and make her see that she is in the wrong here and out of line. Oh and she wrote the most hideous and nasty comments to me on a FB post that my SIL posted. My SIL deleted the post and comments. I actually wrote a huge blog post about it, and decided not to post it. I do not like to be mean to people and I feel bad that I said some not-so-nice things to her, but the truth hurts and I am a truth teller. I was hoping that eventually we would all just be able to get along and have things be peaceful between us. WRONG again. I have apologized to her multiple times (even though I don't feel I was in the wrong and still no apologies from her.) Sigh.....
She was so irrational on the phone. It was actually a little bit concerning how irrational she was. She would not listen to reason on any issue I brought up to her and called her out on. I have chosen not to talk to her again. The whole situation is so sad. Anyways, it's over and done with. And then she started picking fights with other members of D's family. So it's not just me. But one last thing....in case you were wondering why she got so mad at me & called me and yelled at me and hurled insults at me.....my real SIL posted a picture of my daughter on her FB page and I commented and thanked her for being the best aunt to my kids (even if she was their only aunt!) and D's SIL went ballistic after she read that. My SIL and I both asked her why she was so mad because she has refused to acknowledge my kids' existence for almost 2 years. Of course she had no answers to the hard questions I asked her. It just makes me sad that Cambria's legal aunt and her cousin refuse to acknowledge her existence. Fortunately, my daughter has plenty of other people that love her- the remainder of her adoptive family and all of her birth family.
Today is my baby girl's last day of being one year old!!
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Epic Fail
OK so I just tried to copy and paste a picture from my FB acct to this blog, and of course I couldn't get it to post. UGH!!
Cambria is 23 months old today!! Can't believe it!! I am having her 2 year old birthday pictures taken next week, and I'll get a CD of the pictures from the photographer. So I should be able to post some of those pictures to this blog. Cross your fingers for me for good luck with technology! ;)
Cambria is 23 months old today!! Can't believe it!! I am having her 2 year old birthday pictures taken next week, and I'll get a CD of the pictures from the photographer. So I should be able to post some of those pictures to this blog. Cross your fingers for me for good luck with technology! ;)
Moving On
Everyday I am pulling a little further away from the adoption world. And by that I mean I don't talk to my adoption friends all the time like I used to. Actually I haven't talked to them all the time in over a year. I saw my friends who adopted babies before me do this same thing...pull away and no longer talk non-stop about adoption. They said they just wanted to focus on being a mother and spend time with their baby that they had been waiting so long for.
I am following in their footsteps. Which makes my husband happy. He did not like how I spent so much time talking to my adoption friends by phone, text, email and Facebook. And reading adoption blogs. Oh those adoption blogs became a total time-suck for me. I spent so much time reading blogs and writing my own blog posts. And my posts were almost always filled with the same theme....me whining and sad because we hadn't got the call yet. Then me whining and sad because of our failed adoption. Oh and I almost forgot how much time I spent checking adoption websites that listed available adoption situations. And talking to adoption friends about other adoption friends we knew and their adoption stories. And then I spent so much time looking into new adoption agencies to sign up with and updating our adoption profile books. Dave said I treated it like a part-time job and I was so focused on it. He says I now need to channel that energy into something else.
I still am on several email group lists and Facebook pages of adoption professionals and adoption support groups. Some of them I've told we have adopted a baby, but they did not delete me from their list for some reason. Up until recently, I still used to read every adoption situation that came by way where they were looking for adoptive parents. Before I used to say it was for my friends that were still waiting for "The Call". Now the truth is that pretty much all of my friends have adopted their baby by now. Some have decided their time was up and they were moving on with their lives without adopting. (To me, I could never have given up that dream.) One friend sold all of their baby stuff and then recently decided to try and adopt thru foster care and are almost done with the certification process. I'm happy she didn't give up. She took a break and then came back around with a different approach. Instead of domestic infant adoption, she is doing foster-to-adopt. She really wanted a daughter as much as I did.
Adoption costs have gone up so much in the past 2 years since we've adopted Cambria. It is unbelievable how much they are charging now. It is highway robbery. Another adoption friend that has gotten the short end of the stick so to speak with adoption of a daughter said these high costs are too much for them. She has also explored foster-to-adopt.....she has fostered 30+ kids and it has never been "her turn" to adopt. Sucks so bad. She also wants a daughter as much as me. Anyways, I think they are finally calling it quits and getting off the adoption roller coaster...without her bundle of pink joy. I am so sad about this.
Now I only read a part of the available adoption situations, sometimes I don't even open the email. {GASP!} I still talk about adoption and Cambria's adoption situation (how I strongly feel she was meant to be my daughter), especially to people who are considering starting on the adoption journey. Before I would stop what I was doing to read about a possible adoption situation. Now I just want to live my life as a mother.....and not necessarily as an adoptive mother. Just spend time with my kids. What is the point of spending so much time reading about adoption cases and the adoption scammers. Yep, those girls are still out there scamming poor naive adoptive parents. We had our fair share of adoption scammers too. Lonely sad bored girls who would rather spend all their time talking to adoptive parents about a fake pregnancy than getting out in the world and spending time with real people or getting a job and earning some money. Who on earth would want to talk to an adoptive mom all day long about an adoption plan when they weren't even pregnant? So pathetic that this is how they have to get some attention. But I digress.....
At one point, I really wanted to give Cambria a baby sister. I love having a daughter so much that I wanted another one. Dave said no. I was really sad about that and didn't want to admit we were actually finally done growing our family. Now I am at peace with that decision. I am so busy with our 4 kids and doing fun things with them and not-so-fun things like homework, that I can't honestly see adding a 5th child to our family. It's just another chapter closing. And it's time I move on with my life and pursue other things.
I really wanted this blog to not be solely an adoption blog. I wanted it to be a family blog about ALL of my kids. But I am terrible about posting pictures. And who really wants to read about what we do every day or every weekend as a family? Today Zack had baseball practice. I took my other kids to the gymnastics place for open gym time with their friends. I went to Target and bought detergent & spray & wash to do laundry. Jacob went to the movies with his friend and his mom. Zack went to his friend's house. Then we picked Zack up and his friend came with us to Crac.ker Bar.rel for dinner and then we took them to the indoor batting cages to get some extra batting practice. They have their first fall travel baseball team tournament next weekend.
Wow wasn't that so exciting?! Lol! So I think I will be lucky to get one blog post done from now on.
I am going to go now and try and post a picture of Cambria from our mommy & me dance class this week in a separate post!
I hope everyone has had a fantastic summer full of fun.... I know we did! Now the kids are back in school and it's back to reality. I am praying for some inspiration on this blog.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend! :)
I am following in their footsteps. Which makes my husband happy. He did not like how I spent so much time talking to my adoption friends by phone, text, email and Facebook. And reading adoption blogs. Oh those adoption blogs became a total time-suck for me. I spent so much time reading blogs and writing my own blog posts. And my posts were almost always filled with the same theme....me whining and sad because we hadn't got the call yet. Then me whining and sad because of our failed adoption. Oh and I almost forgot how much time I spent checking adoption websites that listed available adoption situations. And talking to adoption friends about other adoption friends we knew and their adoption stories. And then I spent so much time looking into new adoption agencies to sign up with and updating our adoption profile books. Dave said I treated it like a part-time job and I was so focused on it. He says I now need to channel that energy into something else.
I still am on several email group lists and Facebook pages of adoption professionals and adoption support groups. Some of them I've told we have adopted a baby, but they did not delete me from their list for some reason. Up until recently, I still used to read every adoption situation that came by way where they were looking for adoptive parents. Before I used to say it was for my friends that were still waiting for "The Call". Now the truth is that pretty much all of my friends have adopted their baby by now. Some have decided their time was up and they were moving on with their lives without adopting. (To me, I could never have given up that dream.) One friend sold all of their baby stuff and then recently decided to try and adopt thru foster care and are almost done with the certification process. I'm happy she didn't give up. She took a break and then came back around with a different approach. Instead of domestic infant adoption, she is doing foster-to-adopt. She really wanted a daughter as much as I did.
Adoption costs have gone up so much in the past 2 years since we've adopted Cambria. It is unbelievable how much they are charging now. It is highway robbery. Another adoption friend that has gotten the short end of the stick so to speak with adoption of a daughter said these high costs are too much for them. She has also explored foster-to-adopt.....she has fostered 30+ kids and it has never been "her turn" to adopt. Sucks so bad. She also wants a daughter as much as me. Anyways, I think they are finally calling it quits and getting off the adoption roller coaster...without her bundle of pink joy. I am so sad about this.
Now I only read a part of the available adoption situations, sometimes I don't even open the email. {GASP!} I still talk about adoption and Cambria's adoption situation (how I strongly feel she was meant to be my daughter), especially to people who are considering starting on the adoption journey. Before I would stop what I was doing to read about a possible adoption situation. Now I just want to live my life as a mother.....and not necessarily as an adoptive mother. Just spend time with my kids. What is the point of spending so much time reading about adoption cases and the adoption scammers. Yep, those girls are still out there scamming poor naive adoptive parents. We had our fair share of adoption scammers too. Lonely sad bored girls who would rather spend all their time talking to adoptive parents about a fake pregnancy than getting out in the world and spending time with real people or getting a job and earning some money. Who on earth would want to talk to an adoptive mom all day long about an adoption plan when they weren't even pregnant? So pathetic that this is how they have to get some attention. But I digress.....
At one point, I really wanted to give Cambria a baby sister. I love having a daughter so much that I wanted another one. Dave said no. I was really sad about that and didn't want to admit we were actually finally done growing our family. Now I am at peace with that decision. I am so busy with our 4 kids and doing fun things with them and not-so-fun things like homework, that I can't honestly see adding a 5th child to our family. It's just another chapter closing. And it's time I move on with my life and pursue other things.
I really wanted this blog to not be solely an adoption blog. I wanted it to be a family blog about ALL of my kids. But I am terrible about posting pictures. And who really wants to read about what we do every day or every weekend as a family? Today Zack had baseball practice. I took my other kids to the gymnastics place for open gym time with their friends. I went to Target and bought detergent & spray & wash to do laundry. Jacob went to the movies with his friend and his mom. Zack went to his friend's house. Then we picked Zack up and his friend came with us to Crac.ker Bar.rel for dinner and then we took them to the indoor batting cages to get some extra batting practice. They have their first fall travel baseball team tournament next weekend.
Wow wasn't that so exciting?! Lol! So I think I will be lucky to get one blog post done from now on.
I am going to go now and try and post a picture of Cambria from our mommy & me dance class this week in a separate post!
I hope everyone has had a fantastic summer full of fun.... I know we did! Now the kids are back in school and it's back to reality. I am praying for some inspiration on this blog.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend! :)
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Done With Blogging?
I think I am just about done with blogging. I don't have the passion for writing and spilling out my thoughts like I used to. I think it happens a lot after people hit the 2 year mark after adopting. I've seen so many bloggers stop writing after the baby turns 1 (whether they are the birth mom or adoptive mom). Cambria will be 2 in September. Incredible. The ultra-fast passage of time blows my mind.
I feel like I have nothing interesting or insightful to share on this blog at this time in my life. Same with Facebook. I pretty much just share pics of my kids on there. And I suck at posting pictures on this blog. I'm so sorry.
Today was the first day of school for Jake and Josh. Again, no pictures to share. Oh sure, I took them and Instagrammed them and Facebooked them, it's just a pain for me to post them on here for some reason. Zack starts school next Monday. Jake and Josh both had good first days. Josh had his 1st day of 1st grade today! Jacob 4th grade. Zack 7th grade.
I think I started blogging 4 years ago this month. Yep, I think it was August of 2010. We had been waiting for "The Call" for months and it felt like an eternity. I wish I could see the future.....I would have told myself to hang tight and preoccupy myself until Sept. 2012! Lol.
I haven't talked to Cambria's birth mom too much lately. An occasional message or comment on a picture on Facebook. She doesn't have a cell phone right now, so we aren't texting or talking on the phone like before. Plus she doesn't usually ask me many questions about Cambria anyways. Her birthday is coming up, so I'm trying to figure out what to get her. I've already gotten her kids a couple things to include in the package. I still need to get pictures printed to mail to her with her birthday present. I might make a photo book album on Shutter.fly for her. Cambria's birth father has been liking just about all of the pictures of her I've posted recently. I'm glad he can see her and watch her grow up from a distance and know that she is happy and doing well.
My first friend when I moved to Phoenix way back in 9th grade is finally pregnant with her first baby....at 43. I'm so excited for her. She's having a baby girl and is due the day after Cambria's birthday. I'm surprisingly not jealous at all. Usually if someone is pregnant with a baby girl, I get a wee bit jealous! I love having a daughter and would love nothing more than to adopt another baby girl to give Cambria a sister. However, the hubster says no way- 4 is enough!
Well, it is really late and I should go get some sleep. I hope to have some inspiration soon and be back at blogging.
I feel like I have nothing interesting or insightful to share on this blog at this time in my life. Same with Facebook. I pretty much just share pics of my kids on there. And I suck at posting pictures on this blog. I'm so sorry.
Today was the first day of school for Jake and Josh. Again, no pictures to share. Oh sure, I took them and Instagrammed them and Facebooked them, it's just a pain for me to post them on here for some reason. Zack starts school next Monday. Jake and Josh both had good first days. Josh had his 1st day of 1st grade today! Jacob 4th grade. Zack 7th grade.
I think I started blogging 4 years ago this month. Yep, I think it was August of 2010. We had been waiting for "The Call" for months and it felt like an eternity. I wish I could see the future.....I would have told myself to hang tight and preoccupy myself until Sept. 2012! Lol.
I haven't talked to Cambria's birth mom too much lately. An occasional message or comment on a picture on Facebook. She doesn't have a cell phone right now, so we aren't texting or talking on the phone like before. Plus she doesn't usually ask me many questions about Cambria anyways. Her birthday is coming up, so I'm trying to figure out what to get her. I've already gotten her kids a couple things to include in the package. I still need to get pictures printed to mail to her with her birthday present. I might make a photo book album on Shutter.fly for her. Cambria's birth father has been liking just about all of the pictures of her I've posted recently. I'm glad he can see her and watch her grow up from a distance and know that she is happy and doing well.
My first friend when I moved to Phoenix way back in 9th grade is finally pregnant with her first baby....at 43. I'm so excited for her. She's having a baby girl and is due the day after Cambria's birthday. I'm surprisingly not jealous at all. Usually if someone is pregnant with a baby girl, I get a wee bit jealous! I love having a daughter and would love nothing more than to adopt another baby girl to give Cambria a sister. However, the hubster says no way- 4 is enough!
Well, it is really late and I should go get some sleep. I hope to have some inspiration soon and be back at blogging.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Long Time No Blog
I haven't blogged since July 1st! Sheesh!
Cambria is 22 months old and is full of sass! I love it! So different already than raising sons! She has finally hit the word explosion phase. I was starting to worry a bit that she was behind on talking. And now she says plenty of words! Her newest word is "goggles". (I was packing up the pool bag to take the kids to the pool today!)
One more week of summer vacation remaining here in these parts. This summer went by so fast. Zack's All Star baseball team won their district championships. We went to the state tournament this month. They played against the big city boys....and lost. Sadly.
Then last week we took Zack and Jake and 2 of Zack's friends to Santa Barbara where they went to a Ni.ke baseball camp. So cool! What a neat experience. Many thanks to my parents for watching my little kids and dogs for us while we were out of town.
Today I had a pool party for my friends and our kiddos. Super fun. Even when they had to get out of the pool for lightening! YIKES! But then the rain and lightening stopped and the sun came out and they were back in the pool. Yahoo!
And as for our open adoption....not too much to report. Cambria's oldest birth-sister turned 6 this month so we sent her some presents and also included a couple things for her birth-brother too. Between her birth parents, she has 3 birth sisters and 2 birth brothers. Plus my 3 sons makes 8 siblings for her. I'm jealous. I only have one sibling.
My MIL had major extensive surgery for her metastatic ovarian cancer. After a brief scare and being placed on a ventilator, she is doing better and is out of the hospital. Praise the Lord!
We are trying to cram in a bunch of last-minute things before school starts next week!
I'm happy to report I have the back-to-school shopping and haircuts checked off the good ol' to do list!! ;)
Sorry no pictures again. Hopefully next time.
Cambria is 22 months old and is full of sass! I love it! So different already than raising sons! She has finally hit the word explosion phase. I was starting to worry a bit that she was behind on talking. And now she says plenty of words! Her newest word is "goggles". (I was packing up the pool bag to take the kids to the pool today!)
One more week of summer vacation remaining here in these parts. This summer went by so fast. Zack's All Star baseball team won their district championships. We went to the state tournament this month. They played against the big city boys....and lost. Sadly.
Then last week we took Zack and Jake and 2 of Zack's friends to Santa Barbara where they went to a Ni.ke baseball camp. So cool! What a neat experience. Many thanks to my parents for watching my little kids and dogs for us while we were out of town.
Today I had a pool party for my friends and our kiddos. Super fun. Even when they had to get out of the pool for lightening! YIKES! But then the rain and lightening stopped and the sun came out and they were back in the pool. Yahoo!
And as for our open adoption....not too much to report. Cambria's oldest birth-sister turned 6 this month so we sent her some presents and also included a couple things for her birth-brother too. Between her birth parents, she has 3 birth sisters and 2 birth brothers. Plus my 3 sons makes 8 siblings for her. I'm jealous. I only have one sibling.
My MIL had major extensive surgery for her metastatic ovarian cancer. After a brief scare and being placed on a ventilator, she is doing better and is out of the hospital. Praise the Lord!
We are trying to cram in a bunch of last-minute things before school starts next week!
I'm happy to report I have the back-to-school shopping and haircuts checked off the good ol' to do list!! ;)
Sorry no pictures again. Hopefully next time.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Summer Update
Cambria turned 21 months old last Monday, and Zachary turned 12 last Tuesday.
Unbelievable how fast time is whizzing by.
Summer vacation here is half over. 5 weeks have already gone by. I am trying my best to make it super fun for my kids. There has only been one day this summer that we've just stayed home all day.
At this point, I could use a few more of those kind of days!
Zack had his birthday party on his birthday....the first time ever. It was at the pool at our neighborhood athletic center....so beautiful there. Between his friends from school and baseball friends plus a few of my other kids' friends, there were 28 kids there! And of course they had a whiffle ball game in the grass!
Speaking of baseball, Zack's team won their district championship! Again! 2 years in a row! Now they go to the state tournament in a couple weeks!
This year the middle school kids had to apply to get into the Honors' academy at his middle school. The principal let us know Zack got in. Not really surprised. But still. He has decided to go to the Ba.sis school here instead for 7th grade. Which was a bit surprising. Only a few of his friends are going to Ba.sis. I'm not sure how much any of you know about the Ba.sis schools. Goo.gle them...check them out. Academically, they are amazing. Good education & a lot of the students get into good colleges and get scholarships. The only thing is...he won't be able to play on the high school baseball team-if he would make it. Do we think he is going to get a huge baseball scholarship or play in the MLB? Nope. But I think it is important for kids to stay active and not play video games all day (this problem already has a huge obesity problem) and being on a team sport provides exercise, friendships, and keeps the kids out of trouble. With that being said, Zack wants to be a vet first, or a doctor second. He would have a better chance of getting into a great college (and maybe with a scholarship) and then getting into vet or med school by going to Ba.sis than by going to our local high school (which isn't that fantastic, I am sorry to say). 2 of my college roommates send their kids to the Ba.sis school in their city (same class even! How ironic.) and they love the school.
Anyways, Z can do travel baseball still. Big changes are in store for us next month when the new school year starts!
As time goes on, I become an even lamer blogger than the month before!
My daughter is developing quite the little personality! She is loving and funny and giggles and loves to play with our dogs and her brothers....and she is pretty strong-willed! She knows what she wants and wants it right that minute! Lol! She loves blueberries. She hates to have bows and barrettes in her hair Sigh....because I bought her a million! HA! She likes to color (Scribble?!) and uses her left hand mostly...... I have found out that her birth sister and birth aunt are lefties! (So are my son Z and my mom, so she fits right in. As if she didn't already!) I firmly believe God knew exactly what he was doing when he connected birth mom all the way across the country in NC with us.
Dave's cousin has a daughter 2 days older than Cambria. And my BFF's niece is 1 day older than Cambria! Anyways, Dave's cousin is pregnant again. And if I were being completely honest.....I got that jealous feeling in the pit of my stomach again! UGH! When does that go away? I mean, at some point in life, ya gotta quit growing your family. I mean, unless you're the Dugg.ars.
I am exhausted at the end of each day from trying to be a good mom to 4 kids and 2 dogs and a wife and taking care of this household, etc. So why am I jealous? Is it because I had the hysterectomy so that ship has really sailed? Anyways, I know it is ridiculous for me to feel that way. Maybe it's because the end of family-building signals "We're getting older" as my husband likes to say!
And as I typed that last paragraph, I just remembered I have laundry in the dryer that isn't going to fold itself!
Goodnight & hopefully I'll have something interesting to talk about soon.
Unbelievable how fast time is whizzing by.
Summer vacation here is half over. 5 weeks have already gone by. I am trying my best to make it super fun for my kids. There has only been one day this summer that we've just stayed home all day.
At this point, I could use a few more of those kind of days!
Zack had his birthday party on his birthday....the first time ever. It was at the pool at our neighborhood athletic center....so beautiful there. Between his friends from school and baseball friends plus a few of my other kids' friends, there were 28 kids there! And of course they had a whiffle ball game in the grass!
Speaking of baseball, Zack's team won their district championship! Again! 2 years in a row! Now they go to the state tournament in a couple weeks!
This year the middle school kids had to apply to get into the Honors' academy at his middle school. The principal let us know Zack got in. Not really surprised. But still. He has decided to go to the Ba.sis school here instead for 7th grade. Which was a bit surprising. Only a few of his friends are going to Ba.sis. I'm not sure how much any of you know about the Ba.sis schools. Goo.gle them...check them out. Academically, they are amazing. Good education & a lot of the students get into good colleges and get scholarships. The only thing is...he won't be able to play on the high school baseball team-if he would make it. Do we think he is going to get a huge baseball scholarship or play in the MLB? Nope. But I think it is important for kids to stay active and not play video games all day (this problem already has a huge obesity problem) and being on a team sport provides exercise, friendships, and keeps the kids out of trouble. With that being said, Zack wants to be a vet first, or a doctor second. He would have a better chance of getting into a great college (and maybe with a scholarship) and then getting into vet or med school by going to Ba.sis than by going to our local high school (which isn't that fantastic, I am sorry to say). 2 of my college roommates send their kids to the Ba.sis school in their city (same class even! How ironic.) and they love the school.
Anyways, Z can do travel baseball still. Big changes are in store for us next month when the new school year starts!
As time goes on, I become an even lamer blogger than the month before!
My daughter is developing quite the little personality! She is loving and funny and giggles and loves to play with our dogs and her brothers....and she is pretty strong-willed! She knows what she wants and wants it right that minute! Lol! She loves blueberries. She hates to have bows and barrettes in her hair Sigh....because I bought her a million! HA! She likes to color (Scribble?!) and uses her left hand mostly...... I have found out that her birth sister and birth aunt are lefties! (So are my son Z and my mom, so she fits right in. As if she didn't already!) I firmly believe God knew exactly what he was doing when he connected birth mom all the way across the country in NC with us.
Dave's cousin has a daughter 2 days older than Cambria. And my BFF's niece is 1 day older than Cambria! Anyways, Dave's cousin is pregnant again. And if I were being completely honest.....I got that jealous feeling in the pit of my stomach again! UGH! When does that go away? I mean, at some point in life, ya gotta quit growing your family. I mean, unless you're the Dugg.ars.
I am exhausted at the end of each day from trying to be a good mom to 4 kids and 2 dogs and a wife and taking care of this household, etc. So why am I jealous? Is it because I had the hysterectomy so that ship has really sailed? Anyways, I know it is ridiculous for me to feel that way. Maybe it's because the end of family-building signals "We're getting older" as my husband likes to say!
And as I typed that last paragraph, I just remembered I have laundry in the dryer that isn't going to fold itself!
Goodnight & hopefully I'll have something interesting to talk about soon.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Ovarian Cancer
No, not me.
My MIL has stage 3 ovarian cancer. We found out on Monday. Wait~ scratch that. I knew she had it back in April when Dave's sister was visiting and said "have you noticed how Mom only eats 2 bites and says she's full and her tummy looks really big and full and she says she's bloated.....
Bloated. Right then and there I knew. SIGH..... But she waited until 2 weeks ago to go to the dr. and had a CT scan. Apparently she's had symptoms for 4 months. SIGH....
I told my mom & she texted me back and said, "You had your ovaries out last summer when you had your hysterectomy, right????"
Yes, yes indeedy I did. Thank God. Well, one of them had to go....it got its eviction notice because it had the abnormal mass on it...that was getting bigger. We debated about whether to remove the other one..... menopause vs. worrying about getting ovarian cancer in that one. The decision was made for me. My endometriosis was so bad (stage 3) that the other "healthy" ovary....well, the fallopian tube that goes with it was totally caked with endometriosis..... and so the whole reproductive system came out in one neatly caked together package! Seriously. Uterus, tubes, ovaries....all stuck together.
Lovely image, I know.
Menopause is actually a pleasant thought compared to ovarian cancer.
She is having surgery July 8th to remove the mass. Then she is supposed to do chemo to treat the cancer that has spread in her abdomen.
I'm so busy these days with summer vacation. Wait....isn't summer vacation supposed to be just that...relaxing? Bahahaha! Not in my world. But anyways, my point was I've been so busy that I think I've lost weight without even trying! I haven't been mindlessly eating boxes of crackers and cupcakes.
Gotta go- I have about a hundred things left on my to-do list and it's almost bedtime!
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Happy Father's Day!
Happy Father's day to all the daddies out there, especially my hubby and my dad. This is my first post of the month of June.... wow I am getting worse and worse at blogging! I wished Cambria's birth father a happy birthfather's day today, and he liked my post and said thanks. That was the first direct interaction we've had in a year. We haven't had any issues with him or anything, he just prefers to stay in the background and "like" pictures of her I post on FB and get info on her developmental milestone, etc. from her birth mother. We are ok with any kind of involvement he feels comfortable with. I have a special place in my heart for him....he didn't contest the adoption, and let us adopt his beautiful daughter. He didn't really want to place her for adoption (but I mean, who really ever does want to place their child for adoption? Nobody.) But still. He entrusted her to us, and for that I am eternally grateful. I hope he had a nice day today with his son whom he is parenting.
My parents came up here today, and we all went out to dinner, which was nice.
I have been so busy since the first day of summer vacation with my kiddos. Planning lots of fun stuff for them and their friends to do. We just got back from Disneyland and Sea World a few days ago. My oldest son made the All Stars baseball team again. YAY!! It is actually a fun tournament. Zack's team won the district All-Stars tournament last year, and got to go and compete at the state tournament!! We were in Hawaii, so he missed the state competition last year. He is in the midst of daily practices (Except for Sundays) and then the tournament is in a couple weeks. Wish him luck!
Some bad news....it looks like my MIL has ovarian cancer. She has an appt with the GYN/ONC tomorrow at the Cleveland Clinic, so we'll see what treatment option he recommends.
Between her with the ovarian cancer, my BFF's mom with the lung cancer, and Dave's SIL with the brain tumor, sheesh....what the hell??
Well anyways sorry I don't have anything super exciting to share! Oh, wait....I messaged with Cambria's oldest birth-aunt the other day for the first time.....so that was nice. She said she was happy Cambria was being raised in a loving, nurturing home. Awww! So sweet!
Good night all!
My parents came up here today, and we all went out to dinner, which was nice.
I have been so busy since the first day of summer vacation with my kiddos. Planning lots of fun stuff for them and their friends to do. We just got back from Disneyland and Sea World a few days ago. My oldest son made the All Stars baseball team again. YAY!! It is actually a fun tournament. Zack's team won the district All-Stars tournament last year, and got to go and compete at the state tournament!! We were in Hawaii, so he missed the state competition last year. He is in the midst of daily practices (Except for Sundays) and then the tournament is in a couple weeks. Wish him luck!
Some bad news....it looks like my MIL has ovarian cancer. She has an appt with the GYN/ONC tomorrow at the Cleveland Clinic, so we'll see what treatment option he recommends.
Between her with the ovarian cancer, my BFF's mom with the lung cancer, and Dave's SIL with the brain tumor, sheesh....what the hell??
Well anyways sorry I don't have anything super exciting to share! Oh, wait....I messaged with Cambria's oldest birth-aunt the other day for the first time.....so that was nice. She said she was happy Cambria was being raised in a loving, nurturing home. Awww! So sweet!
Good night all!
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Birthday Picture
Here is one of the pictures from our recent birthday photo shoot for the kiddos. (Cambria had one done in September for her 1st birthday.) Our schedules are so crazy busy that I do one group birthday session for the boys (and do group pictures of all 4 kids too).
Here is Joshua, I can't believe he is 6! My baby boy!
Here is Joshua, I can't believe he is 6! My baby boy!
Friday, May 23, 2014
Worst Blogger
I am officially turning into the worst blogger. This is only my 2nd post this month, and I only blogged twice in April. I used to get so bummed out when my favorite bloggers started blogging less and less. And now, I'm becoming like them. Although, I doubt I'm anyone's favorite blogger (maybe besides my mom's! Haha!)
What have I been up to? Baseball! Helping my kids with their homework and projects. Driving my oldest two sons to guitar lessons. Driving Jacob to his catechism class every week. He made his First Holy Communion and Confirmation last week. And oh did I mention baseball? We are at the baseball fields 5 days a week (and sometimes 6 if they have a Saturday game or practice.) It is so exhausting. But fun and amazing to watch them play and see their progress this year. My oldest two love to play catcher. My oldest played an amazing game last night. He smacked that ball out to the outfield like a champ and was a wall behind that plate. They were winning for a while, which was exciting because they haven't won very many games this season.
And then the game was tied, which is when I took this fun picture.
The game was tied 7-7 in the 7th inning! That is my son Zack in the catcher's equipment. See that runner on base? That may or may not be his friend (sorry the picture is blurry, I took it thru the fence!) anyways, as I was saying.....see that runner on 1st? Yeah, he scored. And so did a bunch more people after we got short on pitchers. Zack couldn't go in to pitch because he caught for more than 4 innings, which is the rule, they can't pitch if they've caught for more than 4 innings. And they can only throw 85 pitches in a game, and then they need a 5 day rest period. Needless to say, our really good pitcher was still on his 5-day rest period.
But I digress....
I guess what I'm saying is I haven't been blogging much because I've been busy spending time with my kids, which is what I'm supposed to be doing. Cambria and I went and had a playdate with her little 1 year old friends this week, and we go to mommy-and-me gymnastics, etc. etc. And now my kids are on summer vacation- day 1 of that going on here today! 2 birthday parties yesterday and 1 today for my boys. Plus a birthday party for Cami's little friend last weekend.
Plus I know I say this a lot, but this school year was so challenging. The worst one yet. Don't get me wrong, my oldest two boys got straight A's and are in the honors program (my kindergartener doesn't get A's and B's, instead they get E's and S's, etc.) But getting them to that point of year-long straight A's was tough. So much stupid homework and projects that required parental assistance plus a lot of cash. My 3rd grader's teacher sent home so much nightly homework and they had to answer questions on a class blog every week, and none of it counted towards his grade! All that work for nothing! Only a few big assignments and tests counted for his grade. What a waste of time to try and get all the problems right, when we never even got them back to see if he got them right and he got no credit for it. And some people might say that it was good practice to do all that homework and reinforcement of the concepts. Well, was it? Really? He doesn't even know if he did the homework problems correctly, because they were never returned or a score entered on the Power School. At least my 6th grader got credit for all of the nightly homework he did.
My oldest son decided he wanted to go to a new school for 7th grade. Shocking. He wants to go to this new school that is coming to my town in August. It is called Ba.sis School. You should google them. They are absolutely amazing schools that started in Tucson, AZ (interestingly, that is where Dave and I met!). Highly academic schools. Challenging, and hardly ever any stupid projects!! Lots of focus on math, which is what this country needs. 2 of my college roommates send their kids there, and they love it. US News & World Report consistenly ranks Ba.sis in the top 10 (and lately in the top 5) of US high schools! So my nerdy smart boy should do just fine there. The problem is what to do for high school. He loves baseball and wants to play on the public high school baseball team. So if he makes the team for high school, we will send him to the public high school. Ba.sis has some sports, but it is on a small-scale. I guess we have a couple years to decide on that.
And lastly, the topic of our open adoption. And how it's going. Hmmmm.... it's going ok. I think we are in a transition period. Sometimes her birth mother & I talk a lot, then we go periods of weeks to a couple months without a lot of contact. I posted a picture of her and Cami on my Insta.gram taken in the hospital on birth mother's day. I sent her some pictures and gift cards for her and her 2 kids she is parenting. And I haven't talked to her since, except for a quick text she sent saying she got the stuff I mailed her. I did talk to her birth mom's mom and Cambria's birth father's mother thru FB messages) around Mother's Day too and I sent them Mother's Day cards & pictures of Cambria. I talked to her birth mom's mom about meeting her when we go back East towards the end of the year. We are thinking of maybe going to Florida over Christmas break and will stop in NC. She said she would love to meet us. That was nice! I am also hoping to meet up with her new sister and new adoptive parents while we are out there. I told her if she knew someone with an iPhone, that we could face time and she could see Cambria that way, and so far she hasn't done that. Oh well, I tried.
Oh! One more fun thing I did which has kept me from blogging was I hosted a lunch Bunco at my house a couple weeks ago, which was so fun. There were 16 of us!! Lots of laughs.
And I can't write this long blog post without mentioning a snippet about D's SIL! She actually texted my husband happy birthday wishes on his birthday which was 2 days ago. Shocker! I wonder if D's brother hacked her phone & sent Dave the happy birthday wishes? Haha! LOL! And I heard from another family member that D's SIL was still talking smack about D and me to my in-laws last month when they were out here visiting. And my MIL who is usually very mousy and meek and timid told her knock it off and she didn't come here to hear that stuff! Bahahahaha!! Anyways, I could go on & on, but I won't.
Have a fun summer everyone. I have no idea when I will get the chance to blog again. I did recently have my kids' pictures taken for their birthdays.....I'll have to post a few of them. They turned out so cute.
What have I been up to? Baseball! Helping my kids with their homework and projects. Driving my oldest two sons to guitar lessons. Driving Jacob to his catechism class every week. He made his First Holy Communion and Confirmation last week. And oh did I mention baseball? We are at the baseball fields 5 days a week (and sometimes 6 if they have a Saturday game or practice.) It is so exhausting. But fun and amazing to watch them play and see their progress this year. My oldest two love to play catcher. My oldest played an amazing game last night. He smacked that ball out to the outfield like a champ and was a wall behind that plate. They were winning for a while, which was exciting because they haven't won very many games this season.
And then the game was tied, which is when I took this fun picture.
The game was tied 7-7 in the 7th inning! That is my son Zack in the catcher's equipment. See that runner on base? That may or may not be his friend (sorry the picture is blurry, I took it thru the fence!) anyways, as I was saying.....see that runner on 1st? Yeah, he scored. And so did a bunch more people after we got short on pitchers. Zack couldn't go in to pitch because he caught for more than 4 innings, which is the rule, they can't pitch if they've caught for more than 4 innings. And they can only throw 85 pitches in a game, and then they need a 5 day rest period. Needless to say, our really good pitcher was still on his 5-day rest period.
But I digress....
I guess what I'm saying is I haven't been blogging much because I've been busy spending time with my kids, which is what I'm supposed to be doing. Cambria and I went and had a playdate with her little 1 year old friends this week, and we go to mommy-and-me gymnastics, etc. etc. And now my kids are on summer vacation- day 1 of that going on here today! 2 birthday parties yesterday and 1 today for my boys. Plus a birthday party for Cami's little friend last weekend.
Plus I know I say this a lot, but this school year was so challenging. The worst one yet. Don't get me wrong, my oldest two boys got straight A's and are in the honors program (my kindergartener doesn't get A's and B's, instead they get E's and S's, etc.) But getting them to that point of year-long straight A's was tough. So much stupid homework and projects that required parental assistance plus a lot of cash. My 3rd grader's teacher sent home so much nightly homework and they had to answer questions on a class blog every week, and none of it counted towards his grade! All that work for nothing! Only a few big assignments and tests counted for his grade. What a waste of time to try and get all the problems right, when we never even got them back to see if he got them right and he got no credit for it. And some people might say that it was good practice to do all that homework and reinforcement of the concepts. Well, was it? Really? He doesn't even know if he did the homework problems correctly, because they were never returned or a score entered on the Power School. At least my 6th grader got credit for all of the nightly homework he did.
My oldest son decided he wanted to go to a new school for 7th grade. Shocking. He wants to go to this new school that is coming to my town in August. It is called Ba.sis School. You should google them. They are absolutely amazing schools that started in Tucson, AZ (interestingly, that is where Dave and I met!). Highly academic schools. Challenging, and hardly ever any stupid projects!! Lots of focus on math, which is what this country needs. 2 of my college roommates send their kids there, and they love it. US News & World Report consistenly ranks Ba.sis in the top 10 (and lately in the top 5) of US high schools! So my nerdy smart boy should do just fine there. The problem is what to do for high school. He loves baseball and wants to play on the public high school baseball team. So if he makes the team for high school, we will send him to the public high school. Ba.sis has some sports, but it is on a small-scale. I guess we have a couple years to decide on that.
And lastly, the topic of our open adoption. And how it's going. Hmmmm.... it's going ok. I think we are in a transition period. Sometimes her birth mother & I talk a lot, then we go periods of weeks to a couple months without a lot of contact. I posted a picture of her and Cami on my Insta.gram taken in the hospital on birth mother's day. I sent her some pictures and gift cards for her and her 2 kids she is parenting. And I haven't talked to her since, except for a quick text she sent saying she got the stuff I mailed her. I did talk to her birth mom's mom and Cambria's birth father's mother thru FB messages) around Mother's Day too and I sent them Mother's Day cards & pictures of Cambria. I talked to her birth mom's mom about meeting her when we go back East towards the end of the year. We are thinking of maybe going to Florida over Christmas break and will stop in NC. She said she would love to meet us. That was nice! I am also hoping to meet up with her new sister and new adoptive parents while we are out there. I told her if she knew someone with an iPhone, that we could face time and she could see Cambria that way, and so far she hasn't done that. Oh well, I tried.
Oh! One more fun thing I did which has kept me from blogging was I hosted a lunch Bunco at my house a couple weeks ago, which was so fun. There were 16 of us!! Lots of laughs.
And I can't write this long blog post without mentioning a snippet about D's SIL! She actually texted my husband happy birthday wishes on his birthday which was 2 days ago. Shocker! I wonder if D's brother hacked her phone & sent Dave the happy birthday wishes? Haha! LOL! And I heard from another family member that D's SIL was still talking smack about D and me to my in-laws last month when they were out here visiting. And my MIL who is usually very mousy and meek and timid told her knock it off and she didn't come here to hear that stuff! Bahahahaha!! Anyways, I could go on & on, but I won't.
Have a fun summer everyone. I have no idea when I will get the chance to blog again. I did recently have my kids' pictures taken for their birthdays.....I'll have to post a few of them. They turned out so cute.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Birth Mother's Day
Today is Birth Mother's Day. It is the day before Mother's Day. Which is perfectly fitting. Without birth mothers, there wouldn't be mothers. So they should be honored first.
I'm thinking about Cambria's birth mother J today. I am so, so thankful and grateful that she chose us to parent her child. I am so in love with my daughter and feel blessed every day for this gift that she gave us. J follows me on Insta.gram, so I posted a picture of her holding and looking at Cambria in the hospital on IG. I am usually fiercely private about her, but she said it was ok to post the picture.
Open adoption will have its bumps along the road, but I'm glad we're on the journey.
Happy Birth Mother's Day to all the birth moms out there. Please know that we adoptive parents love and respect you for your sacrifice you made. You made the most selfless decision to put the needs of someone else (your child) above your own needs....you endured heartbreak to give your child the life you wanted for them with another family. I've had 3 biological children, so I know that maternal bond and love that happens the instant you see your own flesh and blood. It is magnetic. I've been at the same place in the hospital as you on the day of discharge with the baby strapped in his/her carseat for the first time ready to go home and experience their first car ride....only it is at that point that we took different turns at the fork in the road. I went home with my baby, and you went home alone and most likely devastated. I can't imagine. You are far stronger than I am. Please know that we adoptive parents truly appreciate you giving us a chance to be parents and do something for us that we couldn't do for ourselves. I wish you didn't have to go thru so much pain in the process.
The interesting thing is, when I saw my adopted daughter for the first time, I fell madly in love with her the same way I did with my biological sons. Instantly. I loved her so much that I started to panic and worry every day until our adoption was finalized that the birth parents were going to decide to take her back. I love her so much and couldn't bear the thought of losing her and not being able to see her everyday. And yet, you carefully and thoughtfully made the decision to place her for adoption with another family even though you knew it would hurt like hell, but you did it for your child....to give them exactly the life you wanted them to have but knew you couldn't provide at that time in your life. I am awestruck by your insight and bravery and maturity and love for your child.
Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Happy Birth Mother's Day.
I'm thinking about Cambria's birth mother J today. I am so, so thankful and grateful that she chose us to parent her child. I am so in love with my daughter and feel blessed every day for this gift that she gave us. J follows me on Insta.gram, so I posted a picture of her holding and looking at Cambria in the hospital on IG. I am usually fiercely private about her, but she said it was ok to post the picture.
Open adoption will have its bumps along the road, but I'm glad we're on the journey.
Happy Birth Mother's Day to all the birth moms out there. Please know that we adoptive parents love and respect you for your sacrifice you made. You made the most selfless decision to put the needs of someone else (your child) above your own needs....you endured heartbreak to give your child the life you wanted for them with another family. I've had 3 biological children, so I know that maternal bond and love that happens the instant you see your own flesh and blood. It is magnetic. I've been at the same place in the hospital as you on the day of discharge with the baby strapped in his/her carseat for the first time ready to go home and experience their first car ride....only it is at that point that we took different turns at the fork in the road. I went home with my baby, and you went home alone and most likely devastated. I can't imagine. You are far stronger than I am. Please know that we adoptive parents truly appreciate you giving us a chance to be parents and do something for us that we couldn't do for ourselves. I wish you didn't have to go thru so much pain in the process.
The interesting thing is, when I saw my adopted daughter for the first time, I fell madly in love with her the same way I did with my biological sons. Instantly. I loved her so much that I started to panic and worry every day until our adoption was finalized that the birth parents were going to decide to take her back. I love her so much and couldn't bear the thought of losing her and not being able to see her everyday. And yet, you carefully and thoughtfully made the decision to place her for adoption with another family even though you knew it would hurt like hell, but you did it for your child....to give them exactly the life you wanted them to have but knew you couldn't provide at that time in your life. I am awestruck by your insight and bravery and maturity and love for your child.
Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Happy Birth Mother's Day.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Short & sweet
Our Easter was really nice. We went to Scottsdale for the weekend and stayed at our favorite resort and spent Saturday at the water park there and then had dinner with my parents and brother and his fiance and then Sunday did the huge egg hunt at the hotel. Really fun! And the weather was perfect.
2 days ago it was a bizarre weather day here in Northern AZ. We had snow, rain, wind, hail and then the sun came out!
I had the kids' pictures taken for the boys' birthdays which are all close from January-June. And yes of course I had pictures taken of Cambria too, because she is so darn cute and why not! I hope to post some of those pictures when I get the CD.
We had some friends and their kiddos over last night for dinner. Perfect ending to a Sunday night!
2 days ago it was a bizarre weather day here in Northern AZ. We had snow, rain, wind, hail and then the sun came out!
I had the kids' pictures taken for the boys' birthdays which are all close from January-June. And yes of course I had pictures taken of Cambria too, because she is so darn cute and why not! I hope to post some of those pictures when I get the CD.
We had some friends and their kiddos over last night for dinner. Perfect ending to a Sunday night!
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
I'm Not Even Sure What to Title This! HA!
You guys. I haven't blogged since March 25th! What is going on with me?! I am becoming the worst blogger. I was out of town last week at my annual medical conference I go to. It was down in Scottsdale, and the weather was beautiful. I got to sit and listen to some good lectures, and catch up with my friends and old colleagues. Plus eat lots of good food. Plus some shopping and massages and lunch with my bestie. Pure bliss!
So much of what I want to talk about on here, I can't because this blog is a public blog. Things like the ups and downs and details of having an open adoption. Most days are great. Some days have speedbumps. Occasionally I have these fleeting thoughts of closing the adoption a bit, maybe becoming semi-open instead of fully open. Then a few days go by, and I'm ok with the amount of openness. It is an interesting body of water to navigate. That's for sure. Right now I feel like it's an open adoption between me and her birth mother and birth grandmas and birth-aunts and the adoptive mother of her new birth sister. And it will be that way until Cambria is older and able to talk on the phone and skype and be able to realize who she is talking to. Which is good and bad, all at the same time.
I had bought Cambria an outfit 3 years ago. Well, let me clarify. I bought the baby I thought would be Cambria this darling purple outfit over 3 years ago. Then that adoption fell apart....it fell apart bad.... 3 years ago tomorrow. We were at the hospital in San Fran with the baby in our arms, and D and I both got this awful feeling in our stomachs that this was not the baby that was meant to be ours. So we walked away. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do and one of the worst days of my life. It took me a long time to get over it and for the guilt to subside. It wasn't until Cambria was a couple months old that I finally was able to not feel so bad about the outcome of that match. Now I know that Cambria was meant to be our baby, and I'm glad we listened to our guts. I hate that we hurt that birth mom's feelings, but happy we did what was right for everyone involved in the end. OK so anyways, I had this 3-6 month adorbs purple outfit for summertime, but Cambria was that size in the winter, so she couldn't wear it. So it hung in her closet, and I just couldn't bring myself to give it away to strangers at the Go.od Wi.ll for example because of the significance of it. So when I laid eyes on Cambria's new birth sister, I knew exactly who it was meant for! She looks so good in purple, and the outfit will fit her this summer. I sent it to her, along with some other baby gifts a couple weeks ago. That outfit is in the right place, and I'm so happy I could give it to her sister.
So tomorrow is the 3-year anniversary of our previous match falling apart. It was devastating. Even though we were the ones who walked away. So what am I doing tomorrow? Why, I'm taking my 4 kiddos to get their pictures taken for a combined birthday-picture session!! No better way to celebrate it, in my opinion! :) (And then we have 2 baseball games after that, of course!)
It's baseball season here until the end of May, so my posts will be scarce.
I do want to mention one more thing. D's SIL's birthday was Saturday. I actually texted her and wished her a happy birthday. So did Dave. She actually replied back to both of us but simply said, "thank you". She didn't even use any punctuation. Hey, at least she replied. I texted her twice in the previous couple of weeks to see how she was doing, and she couldn't even be bothered to respond to me. This might sound so weird, but it made me feel good to wish her a happy birthday and be the bigger person. And now she can't say we forgot her birthday this year. I acutally don't think she is doing well health-wise. She did have her 9-year anniversary on her birthday of surviving a GBM (you can google it, but it's a stage 4 brain tumor with is almost always fatal within 18 months of diagnosis. She has somehow beat the odds and has made it for 9 years). She was recently in the hospital for blood clots in the lungs. So once again she survived the odds and survived the PE's, which can be fatal. She is like a cat with 9 lives.
OK that's all about her. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but both my older boys got straight A's for the 3rd quarter this year.....that's straight A's all year for them so far! I'm so proud! Joshua is too young to get letter grades still.
All 3 of my boys played catcher this week at their baseball games! We are literally at the baseball field 5 to 6 nights a week!
Well, that's all for now. Happy Easter to everyone!!
So much of what I want to talk about on here, I can't because this blog is a public blog. Things like the ups and downs and details of having an open adoption. Most days are great. Some days have speedbumps. Occasionally I have these fleeting thoughts of closing the adoption a bit, maybe becoming semi-open instead of fully open. Then a few days go by, and I'm ok with the amount of openness. It is an interesting body of water to navigate. That's for sure. Right now I feel like it's an open adoption between me and her birth mother and birth grandmas and birth-aunts and the adoptive mother of her new birth sister. And it will be that way until Cambria is older and able to talk on the phone and skype and be able to realize who she is talking to. Which is good and bad, all at the same time.
I had bought Cambria an outfit 3 years ago. Well, let me clarify. I bought the baby I thought would be Cambria this darling purple outfit over 3 years ago. Then that adoption fell apart....it fell apart bad.... 3 years ago tomorrow. We were at the hospital in San Fran with the baby in our arms, and D and I both got this awful feeling in our stomachs that this was not the baby that was meant to be ours. So we walked away. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do and one of the worst days of my life. It took me a long time to get over it and for the guilt to subside. It wasn't until Cambria was a couple months old that I finally was able to not feel so bad about the outcome of that match. Now I know that Cambria was meant to be our baby, and I'm glad we listened to our guts. I hate that we hurt that birth mom's feelings, but happy we did what was right for everyone involved in the end. OK so anyways, I had this 3-6 month adorbs purple outfit for summertime, but Cambria was that size in the winter, so she couldn't wear it. So it hung in her closet, and I just couldn't bring myself to give it away to strangers at the Go.od Wi.ll for example because of the significance of it. So when I laid eyes on Cambria's new birth sister, I knew exactly who it was meant for! She looks so good in purple, and the outfit will fit her this summer. I sent it to her, along with some other baby gifts a couple weeks ago. That outfit is in the right place, and I'm so happy I could give it to her sister.
So tomorrow is the 3-year anniversary of our previous match falling apart. It was devastating. Even though we were the ones who walked away. So what am I doing tomorrow? Why, I'm taking my 4 kiddos to get their pictures taken for a combined birthday-picture session!! No better way to celebrate it, in my opinion! :) (And then we have 2 baseball games after that, of course!)
It's baseball season here until the end of May, so my posts will be scarce.
I do want to mention one more thing. D's SIL's birthday was Saturday. I actually texted her and wished her a happy birthday. So did Dave. She actually replied back to both of us but simply said, "thank you". She didn't even use any punctuation. Hey, at least she replied. I texted her twice in the previous couple of weeks to see how she was doing, and she couldn't even be bothered to respond to me. This might sound so weird, but it made me feel good to wish her a happy birthday and be the bigger person. And now she can't say we forgot her birthday this year. I acutally don't think she is doing well health-wise. She did have her 9-year anniversary on her birthday of surviving a GBM (you can google it, but it's a stage 4 brain tumor with is almost always fatal within 18 months of diagnosis. She has somehow beat the odds and has made it for 9 years). She was recently in the hospital for blood clots in the lungs. So once again she survived the odds and survived the PE's, which can be fatal. She is like a cat with 9 lives.
OK that's all about her. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but both my older boys got straight A's for the 3rd quarter this year.....that's straight A's all year for them so far! I'm so proud! Joshua is too young to get letter grades still.
All 3 of my boys played catcher this week at their baseball games! We are literally at the baseball field 5 to 6 nights a week!
Well, that's all for now. Happy Easter to everyone!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Giggling
I have really made a conscious effort to not dwell on the bad behaviors of D's SIL and let her poor treatment of me and my husband and children ruin my day. In fact, I texted her last week and said I was thinking of her and hoped she was doing well. {GASP! Say what?!} Well, of course she didn't reply. I talked to my real SIL (I am referring to Dave's sister..... I no longer refer to D's SIL as my SIL) and happened to mention that I texted D's SIL and never heard back. She told me that she heard from her, and she said her phone was broken & just got it fixed. So of course everyone wants to give D's SIL the benefit of the doubt. I said I'm sure she got my text, because the very next morning she texted my real SIL and told her about her phone being broken and finally got it fixed. I decided to give her one more chance, and I texted her today and told her I had texted her last week, and how D's sister told me her phone was broken and I was wondering how she was doing. And oh, BTW did they get the invitation to my son's birthday party which is this Saturday?
No reply. Of course. D's SIL is attached to her cell phone just like I am....kind of a lifeline. She is just proving that she is purposely avoiding me- even when I am being nice and thoughtful. And I know that her phone is now fixed, because she texted my SIL from it last week.
So if I ever talk to her or D's brother again, and they start this crap about how D's SIL feels like we have forgotten her, I will not hold back. I will tell her how we have made efforts to text her and even see her, and she avoids us like the plague now. So she doesn't get to have it both ways.
They have ignored my kids for so long now, that my son hasn't even bother to ask if his aunt and uncle are coming to his birthday party. I don't think he even cares, because they have been such a non-presence in his life for so long. Sad. So sad.
But instead of me getting all worked up and pissed off and hurt about D's SIL ignoring me, I find myself giggling at her immaturity. What the heck must be going thru her head that she thinks it's OK to treat people like this and then whine that we have forgotten her?!
Yep, I'm giggling. What a funny show she is putting on for everyone to see. Sad show, but funny. Especially since this time last year she was turning 50 and giving me grief because we missed her 50th birthday party. I'm giggling because she needs to grow up.
Oh well, I have better things to do like get ready for my son's birthday bash on Saturday. A Minecraft party, of course!
No reply. Of course. D's SIL is attached to her cell phone just like I am....kind of a lifeline. She is just proving that she is purposely avoiding me- even when I am being nice and thoughtful. And I know that her phone is now fixed, because she texted my SIL from it last week.
So if I ever talk to her or D's brother again, and they start this crap about how D's SIL feels like we have forgotten her, I will not hold back. I will tell her how we have made efforts to text her and even see her, and she avoids us like the plague now. So she doesn't get to have it both ways.
They have ignored my kids for so long now, that my son hasn't even bother to ask if his aunt and uncle are coming to his birthday party. I don't think he even cares, because they have been such a non-presence in his life for so long. Sad. So sad.
But instead of me getting all worked up and pissed off and hurt about D's SIL ignoring me, I find myself giggling at her immaturity. What the heck must be going thru her head that she thinks it's OK to treat people like this and then whine that we have forgotten her?!
Yep, I'm giggling. What a funny show she is putting on for everyone to see. Sad show, but funny. Especially since this time last year she was turning 50 and giving me grief because we missed her 50th birthday party. I'm giggling because she needs to grow up.
Oh well, I have better things to do like get ready for my son's birthday bash on Saturday. A Minecraft party, of course!
Monday, March 24, 2014
Spring Forward
This is a little something funny for my East coast and midwest friends, who keep getting hammered with snow this winter (and spring!). This doesn't really apply to me because I live in beautiful AZ.
I love how the bird is wearing a North Face jacket and has a Sbux cup in its hand!
I love how the bird is wearing a North Face jacket and has a Sbux cup in its hand!
Sunday, March 23, 2014
God Knows Us So Well.
I am so terrible about writing on this blog! And my picture-posting skills are even worse! If I can't post pictures directly from my cell phone, it's way too much effort!
Anyways, the other day I was at my workout class, and I just realized one of the girls in my class works at my hair salon. She was saying how cute my new haircut is (I had loooong hair half-way down my back, and now it is in an A-line bob). I was telling her it was kind of a necessary haircut, because my hair had been falling out and it was also snapping and breaking off. All my bloodwork has come back normal. She says, "Well, it's probably falling out after the birth of your daughter."
Lol I looked at her and said, "Well, that's a great explanation, except for that we adopted her."
You should have seen the look on her face! Her jaw hit the ground! "She's adopted?? She looks....." and I cut her off and said, "Just like me, yes I know. Weird, huh!"
And besides, Cambria turned 18 months old today, and isn't that a little old to be blaming hair falling out on childbirth/hormones? Ahhh, if only the explanation would be that simple!
And then I was at a birthday party with Cambria yesterday. Her first princess birthday party that she was invited to- and not her brothers! The party was for the other girl in town with the same name, and C had so much fun there! She ran around playing the whole time and was giggling and laughing. It was so cute to watch her there! So one of the other moms who I know a little bit & am FB friends with asked me if we used an egg donor with C, because she looks just like our family. I'm assuming she meant that we must have chosen an egg donor who looks like our family and plus it would be Dave's biological child.
The funny thing is....before C came along, I had gone to the infertility specialist a couple times, and was going to do IVF but they strongly recommended that we use an egg donor. I picked out our egg donor, and she looked nothing like Dave, me, or our sons. So it's funny that while we didn't care if our baby looked like us, that we ended up with this precious baby girl that looks like us.
Why didn't we go through with the IVF you might be asking? The egg donor was in another cycle with another couple, and so we had to wait until she was done and recovered from their cycle to start our cycle. After having time to think and wait, D said he would prefer we adopt. Is that interesting or not? He would prefer to adopt where the child would have no biological relation to either of us (and thus, an even field of sorts) rather than do IVF with an egg donor, and the child would be biologically his. And then after having my hysterectomy last May, my reproductive organs were in bad shape. The feeling was I would have not have gotten pregnant with IVF and wasted that money.
It is all in God's hands. You make plans, and God laughs. He knows. He knows us so well.
Anyways, the other day I was at my workout class, and I just realized one of the girls in my class works at my hair salon. She was saying how cute my new haircut is (I had loooong hair half-way down my back, and now it is in an A-line bob). I was telling her it was kind of a necessary haircut, because my hair had been falling out and it was also snapping and breaking off. All my bloodwork has come back normal. She says, "Well, it's probably falling out after the birth of your daughter."
Lol I looked at her and said, "Well, that's a great explanation, except for that we adopted her."
You should have seen the look on her face! Her jaw hit the ground! "She's adopted?? She looks....." and I cut her off and said, "Just like me, yes I know. Weird, huh!"
And besides, Cambria turned 18 months old today, and isn't that a little old to be blaming hair falling out on childbirth/hormones? Ahhh, if only the explanation would be that simple!
And then I was at a birthday party with Cambria yesterday. Her first princess birthday party that she was invited to- and not her brothers! The party was for the other girl in town with the same name, and C had so much fun there! She ran around playing the whole time and was giggling and laughing. It was so cute to watch her there! So one of the other moms who I know a little bit & am FB friends with asked me if we used an egg donor with C, because she looks just like our family. I'm assuming she meant that we must have chosen an egg donor who looks like our family and plus it would be Dave's biological child.
The funny thing is....before C came along, I had gone to the infertility specialist a couple times, and was going to do IVF but they strongly recommended that we use an egg donor. I picked out our egg donor, and she looked nothing like Dave, me, or our sons. So it's funny that while we didn't care if our baby looked like us, that we ended up with this precious baby girl that looks like us.
Why didn't we go through with the IVF you might be asking? The egg donor was in another cycle with another couple, and so we had to wait until she was done and recovered from their cycle to start our cycle. After having time to think and wait, D said he would prefer we adopt. Is that interesting or not? He would prefer to adopt where the child would have no biological relation to either of us (and thus, an even field of sorts) rather than do IVF with an egg donor, and the child would be biologically his. And then after having my hysterectomy last May, my reproductive organs were in bad shape. The feeling was I would have not have gotten pregnant with IVF and wasted that money.
It is all in God's hands. You make plans, and God laughs. He knows. He knows us so well.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Dove
Someone posted or shared one of those Face.book quizzes (i.e. Which real housewife are you? Which vegetable would you be? What is your IQ? How many kids will you have? Which animal are you?)
I just looked at the which animal are you quiz...it is based on the week you were born. I got a dove. Then I started reading the description (kind of like your horoscope). Part of it was true, part of it was way off. I loved this section, though: You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what.
Wow, that is spot on! (If you've ever read any of my ranting posts about my lovely SIL, you'll agree!)
I can't stand hypocrites.
But I do like doves. Real doves, and Dove chocolates! ;)
I just looked at the which animal are you quiz...it is based on the week you were born. I got a dove. Then I started reading the description (kind of like your horoscope). Part of it was true, part of it was way off. I loved this section, though: You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what.
Wow, that is spot on! (If you've ever read any of my ranting posts about my lovely SIL, you'll agree!)
I can't stand hypocrites.
But I do like doves. Real doves, and Dove chocolates! ;)
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Spring Break!
I had said in a few posts back that I was going to try and not dwell on my SIL and her ridiculous, self-centered, narcissistic behavior. I've actually been doing pretty well! (Believe it or not!) Someone sent this little poster to me today on FB, and I am posting it here because I think it is so true. It is tied to my resolution to not dwell on her behavior and "misunderstanding" me. I can waste hours and hours being upset and/or trying to talk to her and trying to make her see my point of view, but it won't matter. She is committed to "misunderstanding" me. She is incapable of putting herself in anyone else's shoes, especially someone who she has wronged. She will never admit that she has ever done anything wrong, so I've had to take a step back and learn to be OK without ever receiving that apology. Since I posted about it last, I've actually been happier and not so upset?angry?affected?pissed off? about her behavior towards me and my family. And it feels so much better.
I always thought if I stopped being upset about her antics, then that meant that I forgave her and essentially gave her permission to treat me like crap. If I stopped bitching about her bad behavior, that that meant I was basically saying it was OK that she was like that. But actually, that's not true. I'm not saying it's OK. I'm saying that's how she is, and I have to just let it go for my own happiness.
Interesting little tidbit....her only child is moving to another country in a few months! D's SIL has stage-4 cancer, and her only child is moving out of the country. If that were me, I would be upset if any of my children moved out of the country when my stage-4 cancer came back. I'm actually gonna give her a pass on this one and bite my tongue. Karma is a bitch. And I don't want to mess with Karma.
OK onto a happy topic.....Cambria's birthmom J and I were texting the other day. She texted me and said she couldn't thank me enough for keeping Allana in contact with her. Yes, she still calls Cambria by the name she named her on her original birth certificate. What can I do about it? I think she misses the baby she knew who was Allana, rather than the 17-month old baby named Cambria. I reminded her that we promised to have an open adoption with her when we were at the hospital, and I intend to keep that promise! That's the kind of person I am- I am honest. And I wear my heart on my sleeve (If that wasn't painfully obvious! lol)
And.....yesterday was the last day of the 3rd quarter at school. I'm pretty sure that Zack and Jake both got straight A's! Yeah!
We are on spring break! Let the springing and breaking begin?? No! That's not how it goes! lol! Let the fun, rest and relaxation begin! That's more like it! :)
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
One Month Old
Cambria's new little sister is one month old tomorrow! I can't believe it! Her due date was actually today, which was easy for me to remember because today is my dad's birthday. It's so weird that she's already been in this world for a month! I'm Facebook friends with the new adoptive parents, and have gotten to see a bunch of pictures of Cambria's new sister. The sisters don't look too much alike. This is the adoptive parent's first baby. It is so sweet to see them with her- their first baby. I'm so happy for them that they are finally parents.
We are babysitting my parent's puppy for them while they are out celebrating my dad's birthday. Interestngly enough, their new puppy and Cambria's new sister have the same name! ;)
(Which is the female version of Zachary's middle name which I loved, so I gave Zack the male version of the name!)
Ahhh.....such a small world!
Anyways, Zack starts baseball practice again on Saturday. Here we go again! And then I'll have all 3 boys in baseball (Zack's season starts earlier), and each boy will have 2 games and a practice every week! And that means my already pathetic blogging schedule will get even more infrequent. For some of you, this will be a good thing! lol
Happy March, everyone!
We are babysitting my parent's puppy for them while they are out celebrating my dad's birthday. Interestngly enough, their new puppy and Cambria's new sister have the same name! ;)
(Which is the female version of Zachary's middle name which I loved, so I gave Zack the male version of the name!)
Ahhh.....such a small world!
Anyways, Zack starts baseball practice again on Saturday. Here we go again! And then I'll have all 3 boys in baseball (Zack's season starts earlier), and each boy will have 2 games and a practice every week! And that means my already pathetic blogging schedule will get even more infrequent. For some of you, this will be a good thing! lol
Happy March, everyone!
Sunday, March 2, 2014
A Little Funny
Hahaha! It went to pay for shoes for me and all those hairbows for my daughter! (And all of my sons are obsessed with those Un.der Ar.mour hoodies, which aren't cheap.)
I've been snapchatting with J, Cambria's birthmom, lately. It's been fun! Although, it's hard to get a picture of the little miss lately, because she is ALL over the place! And she walks fast, so she's hard to get to stand still while I snap a picture.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Turn The Other Cheek
This post is not a fun, hey look at pictures of my cute kids, kind of post. It is a serious and raw post. So if you are not up for that kind of post, please skip this one and tune in next week. My son is making his first communion and confirmation at church in a few months. The parents have to go to several parent meetings throughout the year. Last night the teacher and some parents were talking about something the priest said at church recently...about what turn the other cheek really means. It doesn't mean to just take it and take it and take it and let the other person continue to treat you like crap. It means you don't have to be happy about the poor way the other person is treating you-- but you can choose to not hate them for treating you in the poor manner they are. The other teacher said that forgiveness is not about letting the other person get away with bad behavior, it's about giving you peace in your own life.
This is how I have kind of felt about my husband's SIL. She has treated us like crap, me especially and is hypocritical and is upset with me about something that she did to me first. (Yes, here I go again.) I brought this up to her, and she refused to acknowledge it. In fact, I came up with 8 paragraphs worth of examples of how she has wronged me over the years. She refused to acknowledge any of it, much less apologize. (Shallow, maybe?) I apologized almost a year ago (even tho I didn't think I did anything wrong.) My husband is that kind of a person- a turn the other cheek kind of person. In fact, he laughed at her ridiculous, hypocritical, narcissistic, self-centered behavior. He refuses to let her bad behavior affect him and ruin his day. He was like just apologize, and let's move on. Well, I did apologize, and I thought things were ok. But apparently I was wrong.....she still refuses to see us. I don't know what else to do. (If you're asking yourself why don't we call her and just get it all out in the open- she has cancer, and my husband said that would make us look bad if we confronted her while she has cancer.) D confronted his brother with some of these issues, and raised a lot of good points. His brother said, "Yeah, I guess you're right." But did he go home and tell his wife that we are not in the wrong? Probably not. They didn't send us a Christmas card. My husband didn't hear from his only brother for 6 weeks after Christmas. And he's ok with it. I think that's crazy. Maybe he's got the right idea....instead of sitting around getting upset about being treated so crappy by your family, he isn't going to waste another second of his precious life (he came very close to dying a couple times when he was really sick 4-5 years ago) worrying about people who obviously don't care about him like they should. She texted me (by mistake) a month or so ago at 12:30 AM. The text was obviously meant for someone else. I texted her in the morning, telling her I think she texted me by mistake. She replied back, "That's hilarious!"
REALLY?? That's hilarious?? What's hilarious- that you texted me and woke me up at 12:30 AM? (How rude!!) She never apologized or even said ooops (of course not!) and went on talking about herself blah blah blah. That's it! She of course did not even ask me how we were doing. At first I laughed and was like ok, par for the course. But then the reality sunk in. She has 3 nephews and a niece that she hasn't seen in a year and knows nothing about now. And doesn't care! That's so sad. My husband says we have to invite them to my son's birthday party next month. (Turn that other cheek....again!) Why? So they can ignore the invitation and show us yet again that they don't give a crap about my kids and my family? He says we should invite them to continue to be the bigger person. I feel so bad for my kids. It's a sad reality when their aunt, uncle, and cousin could not care any less about them. My kids have never done anything wrong to their uncle, aunt and cousin to be treated as if they don't exist. (Remember my husband's SIL didn't acknowledge my daughter until she was almost 3 months old?) And now that she has deleted D and me on Facebook, she has no way to see what's going on in our lives. But yet she whines that she feels as if we have forgotten about her! OMG hello she deleted us on FB and won't talk to us- how on earth would we know what's going on with her?
Anyways, I've been trying to get over my hurt feelings when they continue to slight us. Some days are better than others. It's them with the problem, not us, yeah yeah yeah. Funny how that works, because she is the one acting as if we are in the wrong and refusing to see us (even tho we're not in the wrong) and I'm the one pissed off.
I must work on this personality trait that I have. I need to turn the other cheek and just forgive her for treating me so badly- for my own peace. Otherwise, it will eat me alive. My hair is falling out. It is snapping and breaking off. I think it's partly from my hysterectomy surgery and the anesthesia. And I think it was partly from the incredible amount of stress I've been under this school year with my 2 sons having a ridiculous amount of homework and school projects this year. And I think it's from the stress of dealing with people like her. I just need to learn to let it go, and not always want to be "right" and have the last word. But I am right......
:) hee hee!
I went to the lab and had bloodwork done, and they screwed up and only did part of the labs. I have to drag myself back to the lab (fasting no less) for the rest of the bloodwork.
I wish I wasn't as sensitive as I am. I wish this didn't bother me. I wish I could forgive other people easily. Like my kids do- they forgive kids at school who are mean to them so easily. And they never hold grudges. My goal is to someday soon view this relationship (or lack of one) with D's SIL in a different light. I can't let her poor treatment of me and her indifference to my children make me sad or hurt or upset. I need to forgive her and just attribute her behavior to "that's just how she is". Whether it's right or wrong, it just is what it is. I don't have the time to dwell on this anymore, even if I think I am right. My kids have too much homework that they need help with! lol
At first I was kind of mad at myself for dredging up all of this again. I thought I was doing better dealing with the situation. Until I went to this church meeting last night and they talked about this turn the other cheek meaning. But now I realize that I had to bring it all up again because I had to work through it all and really assess and pick apart my feelings. I had to bring it up again so I could properly process it and learn how to work through it and get on the other side of it and not let it affect me anymore.
OK, so enough of this Debbie-downer stuff. The next post will be happy and upbeat. And about rainbows and unicorns.
Well, I do have one other question that's related to adoption (and not to D's SIL). I saw on the news where this family who adopted a child took him back to the agency (he's about 9 I think). They said he has behavior issues and the child refuses to get help for them. There's this phenomenon going on in adoption called "re.homing". Finding a new adoptive family willing to adopt your child that you have adopted. Anyways, these adoptive parents have a court case and may be fined or given jail time for basically abandoning this child. And that lady who sent her unruly adopted child back to Russia a few years ago now has to pay child support for that child. OK so here's my question....what about the birth parents? What about the first parents the child had that either placed the child voluntarily after trying to parent for a while, or had the child removed from their care for neglect or abuse? What about those parents? Shouldn't they also be fined or imprisoned or forced to pay child support for the child they created and aren't taking care of? How come only the adoptive parents that tried to give this child a good life are being punished for realizing they are in over their heads with this child and are not equipped to deal with all of the child's issues and perhaps another family would be? I don't really have any answers about this, just questions.
This is how I have kind of felt about my husband's SIL. She has treated us like crap, me especially and is hypocritical and is upset with me about something that she did to me first. (Yes, here I go again.) I brought this up to her, and she refused to acknowledge it. In fact, I came up with 8 paragraphs worth of examples of how she has wronged me over the years. She refused to acknowledge any of it, much less apologize. (Shallow, maybe?) I apologized almost a year ago (even tho I didn't think I did anything wrong.) My husband is that kind of a person- a turn the other cheek kind of person. In fact, he laughed at her ridiculous, hypocritical, narcissistic, self-centered behavior. He refuses to let her bad behavior affect him and ruin his day. He was like just apologize, and let's move on. Well, I did apologize, and I thought things were ok. But apparently I was wrong.....she still refuses to see us. I don't know what else to do. (If you're asking yourself why don't we call her and just get it all out in the open- she has cancer, and my husband said that would make us look bad if we confronted her while she has cancer.) D confronted his brother with some of these issues, and raised a lot of good points. His brother said, "Yeah, I guess you're right." But did he go home and tell his wife that we are not in the wrong? Probably not. They didn't send us a Christmas card. My husband didn't hear from his only brother for 6 weeks after Christmas. And he's ok with it. I think that's crazy. Maybe he's got the right idea....instead of sitting around getting upset about being treated so crappy by your family, he isn't going to waste another second of his precious life (he came very close to dying a couple times when he was really sick 4-5 years ago) worrying about people who obviously don't care about him like they should. She texted me (by mistake) a month or so ago at 12:30 AM. The text was obviously meant for someone else. I texted her in the morning, telling her I think she texted me by mistake. She replied back, "That's hilarious!"
REALLY?? That's hilarious?? What's hilarious- that you texted me and woke me up at 12:30 AM? (How rude!!) She never apologized or even said ooops (of course not!) and went on talking about herself blah blah blah. That's it! She of course did not even ask me how we were doing. At first I laughed and was like ok, par for the course. But then the reality sunk in. She has 3 nephews and a niece that she hasn't seen in a year and knows nothing about now. And doesn't care! That's so sad. My husband says we have to invite them to my son's birthday party next month. (Turn that other cheek....again!) Why? So they can ignore the invitation and show us yet again that they don't give a crap about my kids and my family? He says we should invite them to continue to be the bigger person. I feel so bad for my kids. It's a sad reality when their aunt, uncle, and cousin could not care any less about them. My kids have never done anything wrong to their uncle, aunt and cousin to be treated as if they don't exist. (Remember my husband's SIL didn't acknowledge my daughter until she was almost 3 months old?) And now that she has deleted D and me on Facebook, she has no way to see what's going on in our lives. But yet she whines that she feels as if we have forgotten about her! OMG hello she deleted us on FB and won't talk to us- how on earth would we know what's going on with her?
Anyways, I've been trying to get over my hurt feelings when they continue to slight us. Some days are better than others. It's them with the problem, not us, yeah yeah yeah. Funny how that works, because she is the one acting as if we are in the wrong and refusing to see us (even tho we're not in the wrong) and I'm the one pissed off.
I must work on this personality trait that I have. I need to turn the other cheek and just forgive her for treating me so badly- for my own peace. Otherwise, it will eat me alive. My hair is falling out. It is snapping and breaking off. I think it's partly from my hysterectomy surgery and the anesthesia. And I think it was partly from the incredible amount of stress I've been under this school year with my 2 sons having a ridiculous amount of homework and school projects this year. And I think it's from the stress of dealing with people like her. I just need to learn to let it go, and not always want to be "right" and have the last word. But I am right......
:) hee hee!
I went to the lab and had bloodwork done, and they screwed up and only did part of the labs. I have to drag myself back to the lab (fasting no less) for the rest of the bloodwork.
I wish I wasn't as sensitive as I am. I wish this didn't bother me. I wish I could forgive other people easily. Like my kids do- they forgive kids at school who are mean to them so easily. And they never hold grudges. My goal is to someday soon view this relationship (or lack of one) with D's SIL in a different light. I can't let her poor treatment of me and her indifference to my children make me sad or hurt or upset. I need to forgive her and just attribute her behavior to "that's just how she is". Whether it's right or wrong, it just is what it is. I don't have the time to dwell on this anymore, even if I think I am right. My kids have too much homework that they need help with! lol
At first I was kind of mad at myself for dredging up all of this again. I thought I was doing better dealing with the situation. Until I went to this church meeting last night and they talked about this turn the other cheek meaning. But now I realize that I had to bring it all up again because I had to work through it all and really assess and pick apart my feelings. I had to bring it up again so I could properly process it and learn how to work through it and get on the other side of it and not let it affect me anymore.
OK, so enough of this Debbie-downer stuff. The next post will be happy and upbeat. And about rainbows and unicorns.
Well, I do have one other question that's related to adoption (and not to D's SIL). I saw on the news where this family who adopted a child took him back to the agency (he's about 9 I think). They said he has behavior issues and the child refuses to get help for them. There's this phenomenon going on in adoption called "re.homing". Finding a new adoptive family willing to adopt your child that you have adopted. Anyways, these adoptive parents have a court case and may be fined or given jail time for basically abandoning this child. And that lady who sent her unruly adopted child back to Russia a few years ago now has to pay child support for that child. OK so here's my question....what about the birth parents? What about the first parents the child had that either placed the child voluntarily after trying to parent for a while, or had the child removed from their care for neglect or abuse? What about those parents? Shouldn't they also be fined or imprisoned or forced to pay child support for the child they created and aren't taking care of? How come only the adoptive parents that tried to give this child a good life are being punished for realizing they are in over their heads with this child and are not equipped to deal with all of the child's issues and perhaps another family would be? I don't really have any answers about this, just questions.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
And Again!
Today I had a new babysitter come to the house to watch Cambria for a couple hours. I have only left her with a handful of people in her life (2 of them being my mom and Dave's mom! And another person who is a pediatric nurse!). But my regular babysitter that we've had for 8 years is most likely moving to a different state soon. I had to have a surprise root canal done 2 weeks ago, and I realized I need a babysitter for emergencies. I can't exactly take her with me for that! So my friend who also has 3 sons and a baby girl recommended this woman who also watches her kids. She also works at a preschool part-time, so she's been screened already.
Anyways, she did great with Cambria, and Cambria had fun playing with her and only cried when the babysitter put her down for a nap! She was having too much fun playing! Anyways, the babysitter looked at Cambria and then at me and said.......
(What do you think she said?!)
"Cambria looks just like you!"
It is funny how many people have said this to me in the past couple months.
I texted her birth mom a picture of Cambria on Valentine's Day. She texted me back and said she knew Cambria had beautiful blue eyes, but until she saw this picture and her eyes up close, she hadn't realized just how beautiful her blue eyes really are! They are amazing, and her eyes are a unique shape too.
I also told her how much we love Cambria, and how even though she is almost 17 months old, I still, to this day, upon walking into her bedroom when she wakes up in the morning, can't believe that I have a daughter! She texted back and said I'm a great mother to Cambria.
Awww!! So sweet! :) Like I always say, adoption done right is a beautiful thing.
Anyways, she did great with Cambria, and Cambria had fun playing with her and only cried when the babysitter put her down for a nap! She was having too much fun playing! Anyways, the babysitter looked at Cambria and then at me and said.......
(What do you think she said?!)
"Cambria looks just like you!"
It is funny how many people have said this to me in the past couple months.
I texted her birth mom a picture of Cambria on Valentine's Day. She texted me back and said she knew Cambria had beautiful blue eyes, but until she saw this picture and her eyes up close, she hadn't realized just how beautiful her blue eyes really are! They are amazing, and her eyes are a unique shape too.
I also told her how much we love Cambria, and how even though she is almost 17 months old, I still, to this day, upon walking into her bedroom when she wakes up in the morning, can't believe that I have a daughter! She texted back and said I'm a great mother to Cambria.
Awww!! So sweet! :) Like I always say, adoption done right is a beautiful thing.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Happy Valentine's Day!
It's always an achievement when I get all 4 kiddos to sit still long enough to take a picture....and they were all looking at the camera at the same time- bonus!
Happy Valentine's Day from me and my fab 4!
And I have a little story....I went to Ho.bby Lo.bby today (all these ridiculous projects my kids have to do for school are really getting on my nerves!) to get stuff to make Zack's science project (a 3-D animal cell, but it has to be creative.....so we are going to incorporate all the parts of an animal cell into what else? A baseball field/fence/fans in the stands, of course!) So I was looking for miniature things for this project and nothing can be edible. (ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!) So I was looking for fake miniature food that they sell at baseball games instead of real peanuts and cracker jacks and sodas and cotton candy.
But I digress.....as usual! OK so Cambria and I are going down one of the aisles in the store and this older woman walks by us and stops and looks and Cambria and says to her "You are so pretty! You look just like your mommy!"
I smiled and thanked her. :)
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Fun Picture From CA Adventure
This was taken last month at Disney CA Adventure. I love the way you can see the cars racing on the Cars Ride in the background! I love the way the light is hitting in this picture- it reminds me of Sed.ona which isn't too far away from me! And all my boys are smiling in this picture. That was a fun day!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Big Sister
Cambria is now officially a big sister! Her baby sister was born last night, and is a tiny little peanut! I've seen pictures, and she is so beautiful! (But I knew based on what Cambria's older birth brothers and sisters and Cambria look like that this baby would be beautiful!)
The girls are 16.5 months apart. Cambria's older brother is just 9 months and 3 weeks older than Cambria. So that makes 3 siblings in 2 years 2 months and 1 week. I don't know how her body did it. Mine certainly wouldn't have done this well with 3 back-to-back pregnancies. But her birth mom is strong- physically and emotionally.
This may sound weird, but if I am being totally honest, this new adoption has left me feeling a little sad, like my family and I have lost a little piece of ourselves with Cambria's biological sibling not coming to live with us. My husband has said that I act like I am the one who is making the heartbreaking, difficult decision to place my baby for adoption.
I talked to my mom tonight, the only one I can really tell my feelings to about this whole thing (except for random, anonymous people who read my blog! HA!) (and except for my husband, but see his response to this whole situation above), and my mom and I both said we feel bad for Cambria's birth mom. We feel bad for her having to go thru this gut-wrenching experience twice, and in such a short period of time. Yes, she is an adult, and yes, she made the decisions to do things that resulted in this, but still. But still. She was in labor by herself, and the thought of that made me so sad. I was in labor surrounded by my husband and parents. I told her if I lived closer, I would have been there by her side. She said she knows that, and thank you.
Anyways, the new adoptive mom texted me pictures and updates. I'm so glad we have this relationship so the girls can be in each other's lives when they are older. :)
Ahhhh…..adoption. I've heard it described as the gift that keeps on giving (Unfortunately not always in a good way.) So far we have been lucky and blessed to have a good open adoption with Cambria's birth family.
Oh, on a slightly different note….one of my birth mom friends posted a link to this video made my K.ay Jew.elers. In it, this adoptive couple is waiting in the waiting room of an adoption agency, and the husband gives the wife this necklace to celebrate becoming a mother. Then the adoption worker comes in and hands them their new perfect baby. As if poof it's that easy!!
The birth moms who saw that video were not happy- they were totally left out of the equation! What the heck?! Where was the birth mom? The woman who is responsible for giving these 2 people their happy-ever-after ending? Someone commented and said notice the birth mom is comfortably (for the adoptive parents) absent. My friend commented that she too was traded a necklace for her baby.
I'm an adoptive parent, and I didn't even like commercial. The birth mom should be getting the necklace, she is the one who sacrificed. We did give Cambria's birth mom a bracelet, it had a heart charm on it to symbolize that she would always be in our hearts. I didn't get any jewelry from my husband (he said I got the baby, that should be enough! And he is right.) Someone else commented that the husband is simply giving her a piece of jewelry as a "push present", like a lot of women receive after childbirth, that it has nothing to do with adoption, but with the act of becoming a mother. My husband did give me a "push present" after I had my 3rd son. I was joking that in all the romance novels and celebrity births that the husband got the wife a "push present" and where was mine?! He got me a necklace and ring with my son's birthstone on it. And it very well may have been from K.ay Jew.elers! Lol I'm serious. I'm gonna have to go and see if I can find the box!
Anyways, please pray for Cambria's birth mom……that she can find peace in her adoption decision and that she never has to go thru this again.
The girls are 16.5 months apart. Cambria's older brother is just 9 months and 3 weeks older than Cambria. So that makes 3 siblings in 2 years 2 months and 1 week. I don't know how her body did it. Mine certainly wouldn't have done this well with 3 back-to-back pregnancies. But her birth mom is strong- physically and emotionally.
This may sound weird, but if I am being totally honest, this new adoption has left me feeling a little sad, like my family and I have lost a little piece of ourselves with Cambria's biological sibling not coming to live with us. My husband has said that I act like I am the one who is making the heartbreaking, difficult decision to place my baby for adoption.
I talked to my mom tonight, the only one I can really tell my feelings to about this whole thing (except for random, anonymous people who read my blog! HA!) (and except for my husband, but see his response to this whole situation above), and my mom and I both said we feel bad for Cambria's birth mom. We feel bad for her having to go thru this gut-wrenching experience twice, and in such a short period of time. Yes, she is an adult, and yes, she made the decisions to do things that resulted in this, but still. But still. She was in labor by herself, and the thought of that made me so sad. I was in labor surrounded by my husband and parents. I told her if I lived closer, I would have been there by her side. She said she knows that, and thank you.
Anyways, the new adoptive mom texted me pictures and updates. I'm so glad we have this relationship so the girls can be in each other's lives when they are older. :)
Ahhhh…..adoption. I've heard it described as the gift that keeps on giving (Unfortunately not always in a good way.) So far we have been lucky and blessed to have a good open adoption with Cambria's birth family.
Oh, on a slightly different note….one of my birth mom friends posted a link to this video made my K.ay Jew.elers. In it, this adoptive couple is waiting in the waiting room of an adoption agency, and the husband gives the wife this necklace to celebrate becoming a mother. Then the adoption worker comes in and hands them their new perfect baby. As if poof it's that easy!!
The birth moms who saw that video were not happy- they were totally left out of the equation! What the heck?! Where was the birth mom? The woman who is responsible for giving these 2 people their happy-ever-after ending? Someone commented and said notice the birth mom is comfortably (for the adoptive parents) absent. My friend commented that she too was traded a necklace for her baby.
I'm an adoptive parent, and I didn't even like commercial. The birth mom should be getting the necklace, she is the one who sacrificed. We did give Cambria's birth mom a bracelet, it had a heart charm on it to symbolize that she would always be in our hearts. I didn't get any jewelry from my husband (he said I got the baby, that should be enough! And he is right.) Someone else commented that the husband is simply giving her a piece of jewelry as a "push present", like a lot of women receive after childbirth, that it has nothing to do with adoption, but with the act of becoming a mother. My husband did give me a "push present" after I had my 3rd son. I was joking that in all the romance novels and celebrity births that the husband got the wife a "push present" and where was mine?! He got me a necklace and ring with my son's birthstone on it. And it very well may have been from K.ay Jew.elers! Lol I'm serious. I'm gonna have to go and see if I can find the box!
Anyways, please pray for Cambria's birth mom……that she can find peace in her adoption decision and that she never has to go thru this again.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
She Looks Just Like You!
2 more. 2 more comments about how Cambria looks just like me, that is. I was at Ko.hl's (Shhh! Don't tell my hubby! Haha!), and as we were heading out the door, this woman says, "Your daugther is soooo beautiful! Can you turn her around so I can get a better look?"
Say what??
So I say sure, and she says, "She is so beautiful, and those eyes! She certainly gets her looks from you! Well, I don't know what the father looks like, but she looks like you!"
I chuckled and was sooo tempted to mess with her and say, "Yeah, I don't know what the father looks like either." But instead I smiled and said, "Thank you. I think she is beautiful too. And she is adopted, so unfortunately I can't take credit for her good looks." And she said that she has friends who adopted a baby who looks just like the adoptive parents.
I do know what Cambria's birth parents look like, along with a lot of their extended family. She doesn't really look that similar to most of them. I think she looks the most like her half-sister who is 5 years old, and absolutely beautiful. So it's weird that she looks so similar to my family, but not similar to a lot of her biological family. I can't wait to see what her new baby birth sister looks like, who is going to make her arrival any day now! I even know the name of her new birth sister. And I love it!
Then I went to my doctor's office for my flu shot (finally!) and the nurse said how beautiful Cambria was, and that she looked just like me and those eyes! Those beautiful eyes! I said thanks, and it's so ironic because she is adopted. And she said she has friends who adopted a baby, and the baby looks just like them too.
God has a plan when he creates families. Some look alike, and some don't. But he knows the perfect place for everybody to land.
Say what??
So I say sure, and she says, "She is so beautiful, and those eyes! She certainly gets her looks from you! Well, I don't know what the father looks like, but she looks like you!"
I chuckled and was sooo tempted to mess with her and say, "Yeah, I don't know what the father looks like either." But instead I smiled and said, "Thank you. I think she is beautiful too. And she is adopted, so unfortunately I can't take credit for her good looks." And she said that she has friends who adopted a baby who looks just like the adoptive parents.
I do know what Cambria's birth parents look like, along with a lot of their extended family. She doesn't really look that similar to most of them. I think she looks the most like her half-sister who is 5 years old, and absolutely beautiful. So it's weird that she looks so similar to my family, but not similar to a lot of her biological family. I can't wait to see what her new baby birth sister looks like, who is going to make her arrival any day now! I even know the name of her new birth sister. And I love it!
Then I went to my doctor's office for my flu shot (finally!) and the nurse said how beautiful Cambria was, and that she looked just like me and those eyes! Those beautiful eyes! I said thanks, and it's so ironic because she is adopted. And she said she has friends who adopted a baby, and the baby looks just like them too.
God has a plan when he creates families. Some look alike, and some don't. But he knows the perfect place for everybody to land.
Monday, January 27, 2014
It Happened Again
So this post will make more sense if you read my previous post. The post about how just the other day, two men made comments where they assumed Cambria was our biological child (one of the men even made a comment about how we could "just adopt" another girl down the road!)
So today while my oldest two sons were at guitar lessons, my youngest son and Cambria and I went to the store to get a few things...specifically a few more things to go with a baby shower present for a friend. So we're at the register checking out, and the male cashier who looked like he was in his early-mid 30's said that Cambria's eyes are so beautiful. (Which is very true~ girlfriend has got THEE best blue eyes!) He then goes on to say that I did a good job with giving her those beautiful blue eyes.
Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for those baby blues! I just said thank you and left. Was it necessary to tell him she's adopted so I had nothing to do with her eyes?
Anyways, Jacob has a project on Albert Einstein due this week, so I'm busy printing off resource material for that.
Can I please tell anybody that will listen to me whine that I am so darn sick of all of these projects that my oldest two sons have to do this school year, along with a ridiculous amount of homework. I don't have a lot of time to write on this blog, because I'm too busy helping my middle son write on his class blog every week! They both have daily homework (and I do mean daily) math and spelling worksheets, plus book reports and presentations on these book reports and the blog I mentioned, then once a week writing assignments in a journal to be done at home, then project after project after project and both kids seem to have these things due at the same time. Sorry, I am just over it. And I can't wait to see how this all plays out when baseball season starts in March (insert sarcastic tone here). With three kids playing baseball and they are all in different age groups, we are at the baseball field 5 nights a week (and sometimes on Saturdays too). I hope my sons can keep up their straight A's that they've both gotten all year. My 6th grader has homework every weekend too. Can't he get a day off?
BTW, did you know that Albert Einstein is credited with a bunch of really good quotes?
My favorite one, that I say all the time, is:
What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.
I have to go get lab tests done in the morning~ and I haven't studied for them yet! Ha ha ha! No seriously, my hair has been breaking.....like it's snapping off. It looks like I have layers, only really bad layers that are all uneven all over my head. VERY attractive! HA! I love my hair (sorry if that seems shallow- especially coming from the girl that doesn't own makeup other than pink lipgloss and chapstick!), and I hope that there isn't something seriously wrong internally that is causing this. Plus I have to have my cholesterol levels checked.....becuase it's time, actually I am way overdue. Tsk tsk on this doctor! I am hoping I don't get any surprises like "you have diabetes!" or that my thyroid is seriously out of whack. More on this later, after I get my results.
Goodnight! Time to study! lol :)
So today while my oldest two sons were at guitar lessons, my youngest son and Cambria and I went to the store to get a few things...specifically a few more things to go with a baby shower present for a friend. So we're at the register checking out, and the male cashier who looked like he was in his early-mid 30's said that Cambria's eyes are so beautiful. (Which is very true~ girlfriend has got THEE best blue eyes!) He then goes on to say that I did a good job with giving her those beautiful blue eyes.
Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for those baby blues! I just said thank you and left. Was it necessary to tell him she's adopted so I had nothing to do with her eyes?
Anyways, Jacob has a project on Albert Einstein due this week, so I'm busy printing off resource material for that.
Can I please tell anybody that will listen to me whine that I am so darn sick of all of these projects that my oldest two sons have to do this school year, along with a ridiculous amount of homework. I don't have a lot of time to write on this blog, because I'm too busy helping my middle son write on his class blog every week! They both have daily homework (and I do mean daily) math and spelling worksheets, plus book reports and presentations on these book reports and the blog I mentioned, then once a week writing assignments in a journal to be done at home, then project after project after project and both kids seem to have these things due at the same time. Sorry, I am just over it. And I can't wait to see how this all plays out when baseball season starts in March (insert sarcastic tone here). With three kids playing baseball and they are all in different age groups, we are at the baseball field 5 nights a week (and sometimes on Saturdays too). I hope my sons can keep up their straight A's that they've both gotten all year. My 6th grader has homework every weekend too. Can't he get a day off?
BTW, did you know that Albert Einstein is credited with a bunch of really good quotes?
My favorite one, that I say all the time, is:
What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.
I have to go get lab tests done in the morning~ and I haven't studied for them yet! Ha ha ha! No seriously, my hair has been breaking.....like it's snapping off. It looks like I have layers, only really bad layers that are all uneven all over my head. VERY attractive! HA! I love my hair (sorry if that seems shallow- especially coming from the girl that doesn't own makeup other than pink lipgloss and chapstick!), and I hope that there isn't something seriously wrong internally that is causing this. Plus I have to have my cholesterol levels checked.....becuase it's time, actually I am way overdue. Tsk tsk on this doctor! I am hoping I don't get any surprises like "you have diabetes!" or that my thyroid is seriously out of whack. More on this later, after I get my results.
Goodnight! Time to study! lol :)
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