Tomorrow is my baby girl's 2nd birthday. Unbelievable that she has been in our lives for 2 years already! She has brightened my days and my life. Don't get me wrong, I love those boys of mine. But having daughter is different. She calls me "mom-mom"! I love it! She calls Dave "dada". She calls Zack "Kack" and she says Josh perfectly "Josh". She doesn't really say Jacob. She calls Sophie "Fo Fo" (We sometimes call Sophie "So So".) She calls Laney our other dog "Layna". She knows who Jacob is, she must just have a hard time saying his name.
We had her birthday party yesterday at the pool in our little sub-division with a bunch of our family friends and their kids. So much fun. Tomorrow I'm having a little playdate with some of her 2 year old friends at this indoor play place. We did the Hello Kitty theme this year. I figure she has many years ahead of her to do the Princess theme! ;)
2 years ago today, I knew for exactly one day that we were matched with her birth mom. I felt like I was keeping the biggest secret on the planet! She wasn't due until October 10th, so I thought I still had some more time to get ready for her arrival. I remember on this day 2 years ago thinking the whole situation sounded too good to be true. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for someone to rain on my parade and shatter my dreams. I wouldn't talk to her birth mom for the first time until the following day, her birthday, a few hours before she was born. So surreal. To this day I sometimes can't believe that I put on my big girl panties and got on that red eye flight all by myself and went to the hospital in NC all by myself to meet my baby girl and a hospital room full of strangers.....who have now become extended family to me. I can't believe that I was a witness to the most extraordinary event to occur. That this young woman would trust Dave and me enough to place her child with us to raise her....as if born to us.....by adoption. The adoption paperwork says something to that effect that she is legally our daughter and entitled to family land, etc. as if born to us.
I've said this before, but that memory of the 4 of us in that hospital room.....Cambria's 4 parents....2 by birth and 2 by adoption......hugging and saying goodbye will be forever burned into my memory. And the tears. All of the tears that were shed by all 4 of us. It is not something I take lightly. It would literally kill me to have to say goodbye to my child that I had just delivered and give her to strangers that lived across the country. And here, this young woman, who is so much younger than me, chose to do this and was so strong and brave in that hospital room and put on her big girl panties and signed those relinquishment papers with confidence.
I am in awe of her.
I talked to her the other day. We talked a little bit about our birthday party plans for Cami's bday party. She said she still does NOT regret her decision to place her baby for adoption. She said she misses her, but doesn't regret her choice.
We are still trying to get to NC. Turns out it's kind of hard to fly across the country with 4 kids! This fall is so busy every weekend. And we are going to Ohio soon to visit Dave's mom who has stage 4 ovarian cancer and recently found out she is not a candidate for chemo. So with that being said, her time is limited. I explained this to Cambria's birth mom and she understood and said to let her know when we could make it out there to visit. Pretty soon it will be cold and I am not a fan of flying when there is a possibility of snow and ice. I may have spent the first part of my life in OH, but I'm an AZ girl now through and through. ;)
I know a lot of adoptees feel that they are unloved and unwanted by their birth moms. I am so happy that I know the truth about Cambria and her birth mom and her birth father. She was wanted by them....very much and she is loved by them to this day. Also her birth grandmas love her too and sent happy birthday wishes on Face.book. I get a little jealous when some of my adoptive mom friends post pics of cards and letters and birthday gifts their birth mom sent them and Cambria probably won't get anything more than the FB birthday wishes. But it's the thought that counts, right? I know her NC family is all thinking of her, and Cambria certainly doesn't need any more gifts. I am going to make her birth mom a Shutter.fly picture book after I take pictures of her tomorrow on her actual birthday. I will get pictures printed also and sent them to her birth grandmas and her adoptive grandmas and her aunt (D's sister).
I can't wait to see my birthday girl tomorrow morning when she wakes up and celebrate her! Her birth mom made an interesting and insightful comment in the hospital....she said she could have chosen to have an abortion, but instead chose to give her baby life and chose adoption.
Powerful words.
I am feeling very nostalgic and tearful on this evening before her 2nd birthday. I love that little girl so much, even though she is already having 2 year old temper tantrums! Haha!
And maybe someday I will figure out how to post a picture on my new computer.
On a side note, if you've read all my posts, you'd know that D's SIL and I don't exactly get along. Well, I finally got the chance to talk to her a couple weeks ago. There's 40 minutes of my life that I won't ever get back. Sigh.... She called me and literally screamed at me. Yes, this is the chic with the stage 4 brain tumor that has come back again. She sounded anything but weak and feeble and fragile on the phone. I think she thought I was just going to let her scream at me and insult me and not say anything back. WRONG. I took this chance to try and defend myself and make her see that she is in the wrong here and out of line. Oh and she wrote the most hideous and nasty comments to me on a FB post that my SIL posted. My SIL deleted the post and comments. I actually wrote a huge blog post about it, and decided not to post it. I do not like to be mean to people and I feel bad that I said some not-so-nice things to her, but the truth hurts and I am a truth teller. I was hoping that eventually we would all just be able to get along and have things be peaceful between us. WRONG again. I have apologized to her multiple times (even though I don't feel I was in the wrong and still no apologies from her.) Sigh.....
She was so irrational on the phone. It was actually a little bit concerning how irrational she was. She would not listen to reason on any issue I brought up to her and called her out on. I have chosen not to talk to her again. The whole situation is so sad. Anyways, it's over and done with. And then she started picking fights with other members of D's family. So it's not just me. But one last thing....in case you were wondering why she got so mad at me & called me and yelled at me and hurled insults at me.....my real SIL posted a picture of my daughter on her FB page and I commented and thanked her for being the best aunt to my kids (even if she was their only aunt!) and D's SIL went ballistic after she read that. My SIL and I both asked her why she was so mad because she has refused to acknowledge my kids' existence for almost 2 years. Of course she had no answers to the hard questions I asked her. It just makes me sad that Cambria's legal aunt and her cousin refuse to acknowledge her existence. Fortunately, my daughter has plenty of other people that love her- the remainder of her adoptive family and all of her birth family.
Today is my baby girl's last day of being one year old!!
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