Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season, enjoying it with family and friends and loved ones.
I can't believe I haven't posted on here in exactly a month. I have been busy with the holidays and in that holiday craziness daze.....having fun all month long with friends and family and the kids. I had a lunch holiday party at my house with 20 friends. We played LCR and did a gift exchange too. It was so fun, lots of laughs. Then the next day I let my kids have a holiday party at my house with their friends. Notice I had the grown-up party first, then the kids' party the next day! Otherwise my house would have been a mess for my friends! Then parties for Dave's work and other get-togethers with girlfriends has made for a fun, festive month.
I took the kids to the mall to see Santa and get the annual Santa pic. Cambria freaked out and screamed like crazy when she saw Santa. They took a quick picture, she is crying in it, Santa barely had time to ask the boys what they want for Christmas! I gave up after one try, I did not want to torture her. I did not see her warming up to Santa any time soon! Maybe next year.
We had a nice day today celebrating Christmas. Dave has to work 2-11 PM today, which is a bummer. But I'm thankful he has a job. We celebrated Christmas with my family on Sunday. Dave's dad is here at my house now, his first Christmas as a widower. So sad. It's just not the same without my MIL here too. Yesterday afternoon after Dave got home from work and on the way to church, D and I looked at each other and said "What are we going to have for dinner tomorrow on Christmas?!" LOL! We hadn't even thought about it! So afterwards we ran to the grocery store and managed to whip up some turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, pecan pie, etc. for today. I high-fived him and told him I was proud of us and I felt like we were 23 & 24 years old again trying to figure out the whole holiday cooking thing like when we were younger! I am used to my parents making the holiday meals. ;) Although, this year, while he was cooking the food, I was running around chasing 4 kids and trying to clean up some of the wrapping paper & toys mess and doing laundry and getting Zack packed up for a baseball camp he's going to over the winter break!
Ahhhh, the life of parents with 4 kids and a husband who works insane hours, even over the holidays. Again, I'm grateful he has a good job, but I just wish he was home more. I miss him when he's gone.
My 44th birthday is on Sunday. I am less than thrilled. 44 seems so old. But at least I am healthy.
The sick family member I mentioned in previous posts is in the midst of 33 radiation treatments and 7 chemo treatments. One more month to go. They can do it, they can do it. I have faith. And hope. Because without faith and hope, what else have you got?
Best wishes to everyone in 2015. I hope everyone has good health. I know I whine a lot on this blog (mostly about the way I am treated by certain "family members", but I am thankful for the good things I do have in my life. xoxo
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
A Major Milestone
Cambria went pee pee on the potty 2 days ago- she was exactly 2 years and 2 months old! She also went again yesterday! And she ran to sit on the potty when we got home from going out to dinner after Zack's basketball game tonight! This is incredible! She is totally initiating this whole potty training thing. Everyone told me potty training girls was much easier than boys....my boys wouldn't even stand near the toilet until they were 3! Lol! We are not pushing the potty training issue on her at all, she wants to do it!
Zack got his report card for grading period 2 the other day, and he got straight A's again. Whew!
I can check Jacob's grades online and he has straight A's.
Joshua is in 1st grade, and they don't do A's B's C's yet, they only do E's and S's and N's and I's on their report cards. He is in the top reading group. He is a math whiz and can do a lot of math problems in his head.
Zack kicked butt at his last fall travel baseball game of the season a few weeks ago, and got a game ball! So proud of him.
Life seems perfect right now, doesn't it?! Ha ha things are never perfect in anyone's life, I am just choosing to focus on the positives now. There is that lingering issue of the sick family member with stage 4 cancer that wishes to remain anonymous. Very hard to deal with that when you are forbidden to tell anyone about it. I mean, I can talk to D about it, but he just lost his mother last month. God, I can't believe my MIL has been gone for a month already. My FIL is coming out to visit pretty soon for a few months. The kids love playing with him.
I have finally started working out again. After months of being persuaded to go to this new class, I finally have gone the last 3 weeks in a row! It's a 90 minute class...half cross fit and half spinning class. Good Lord, 90 minutes and I'm still alive to tell about it! Ha ha! It helps that 2 of my friends teach the class.
November is national adoption month. As always, I am thinking about Cambria's birth mom and also her entire birth family. I'm sure they all feel the loss of one of their "own" not growing up with them. I'm happy we have an open adoption and they can watch her grow up across the miles. We keep talking about trying to get back to NC to visit her birth family, but I just don't know when we will have the time. We are going to Hawaii for 2 weeks this summer....part of the time in Maui with 2 families we are friends with and their kids, then we are trying out the new Dis.ney Aul.ani resort on Oa.hu! It looks amazing! D doesn't get any more time off this summer. I told him he needed to take off Zack's bday in June, but he thinks he can only get the early shift that day. Bummer.
The vacation might be a little over the top, but one thing we have learned is that life is short. Order the dessert. Enjoy life. This time last year, we had no idea D's mom had terminal cancer and would be gone soon and not around to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas this year with her husband, kids and grandchildren.
I am going to start addressing holiday cards this weekend....after the turkey dinner. And not a minute before!
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Wishing you all wonderful time spent with your families and good health. It really is priceless.
Zack got his report card for grading period 2 the other day, and he got straight A's again. Whew!
I can check Jacob's grades online and he has straight A's.
Joshua is in 1st grade, and they don't do A's B's C's yet, they only do E's and S's and N's and I's on their report cards. He is in the top reading group. He is a math whiz and can do a lot of math problems in his head.
Zack kicked butt at his last fall travel baseball game of the season a few weeks ago, and got a game ball! So proud of him.
Life seems perfect right now, doesn't it?! Ha ha things are never perfect in anyone's life, I am just choosing to focus on the positives now. There is that lingering issue of the sick family member with stage 4 cancer that wishes to remain anonymous. Very hard to deal with that when you are forbidden to tell anyone about it. I mean, I can talk to D about it, but he just lost his mother last month. God, I can't believe my MIL has been gone for a month already. My FIL is coming out to visit pretty soon for a few months. The kids love playing with him.
I have finally started working out again. After months of being persuaded to go to this new class, I finally have gone the last 3 weeks in a row! It's a 90 minute class...half cross fit and half spinning class. Good Lord, 90 minutes and I'm still alive to tell about it! Ha ha! It helps that 2 of my friends teach the class.
November is national adoption month. As always, I am thinking about Cambria's birth mom and also her entire birth family. I'm sure they all feel the loss of one of their "own" not growing up with them. I'm happy we have an open adoption and they can watch her grow up across the miles. We keep talking about trying to get back to NC to visit her birth family, but I just don't know when we will have the time. We are going to Hawaii for 2 weeks this summer....part of the time in Maui with 2 families we are friends with and their kids, then we are trying out the new Dis.ney Aul.ani resort on Oa.hu! It looks amazing! D doesn't get any more time off this summer. I told him he needed to take off Zack's bday in June, but he thinks he can only get the early shift that day. Bummer.
The vacation might be a little over the top, but one thing we have learned is that life is short. Order the dessert. Enjoy life. This time last year, we had no idea D's mom had terminal cancer and would be gone soon and not around to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas this year with her husband, kids and grandchildren.
I am going to start addressing holiday cards this weekend....after the turkey dinner. And not a minute before!
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Wishing you all wonderful time spent with your families and good health. It really is priceless.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween! We had a fun night trick-or-treating with the kids and their friends and our friends. Then we went out for a family dinner.
This month has been a horrible month, truth be told. Other than our 16th anniversary, this month has sucked ass. To put it frankly.
Dave's SIL died from cancer.
My MIL died exactly a week later from cancer.
They both passed away over the noon hour.
D and I went back east for the funeral and had an unpleasant encounter with D's brother, niece and her boyfriend.
They were horribly rude. All 3 of them.
And after the restaurant after the cemetery service, about 40 family members went to dinner at a restaurant and we were in the banquet room. My phone was stolen off the table and was found destroyed, soaking wet with the Otter Box cover taken off of it and at the bottom of the trash can in the men's restroom at the restaurant. The surveillance cameras don't extend into the banquet room so we don't know for sure who did it. But based on their location in the room and their vendetta against me, I'm pretty sure it was one or two or three of 3 possible people. I was a victim of a crime after a family funeral, for God's sake. Theft and destruction of property. Nice. I never named names at the family dinner of who I suspected stole and damaged my phone.
So this next part is funny/interesting/sad.......D's niece went up to D and said that I implied she stole my phone and she had nothing to do with it! Funny thing is, I never implied that she had anything to do with it. Guilty conscience, much?! I'm sure she is NOT the one who threw it in the men's restroom trashcan. It had to be a man. Then D's brother told his sister that he saw my comment on FB that I posted on my SIL's post about my phone. And he said that I edited my comment. SO darn creepy, I tell ya. I never posted anything about the phone incident on my own FB acct. My SIL did, and I just commented on it and I did edit it. But here's the even creepier part..... Who is stalking my FB comments on someone else's FB page? Who is taking screen shots and sending them to my BIL? Who is the loser that has nothing better to do than stalk me about what comments I make and tattle?! And I never named names on FB about who I suspected stole and damaged my phone. Again, guilty conscience, much?! Hey, if the shoe fits....lace it up and wear it for God's sake. That's all I'm saying. I'm not accusing them of stealing and destroying my phone....along with the pictures from the cemetery on my phone. I'm just recounting how they both took the time and effort to say they had nothing to do with it. Even though we didn't directly approach them about it.
My dog had her surgery for the mass in her leg that ate away 2/3 of her femur bone and had a skin graft.
Another family member is sick with cancer now.
Thank God a new month is beginning tomorrow. I can't take any more bad news this month.
This month has been a horrible month, truth be told. Other than our 16th anniversary, this month has sucked ass. To put it frankly.
Dave's SIL died from cancer.
My MIL died exactly a week later from cancer.
They both passed away over the noon hour.
D and I went back east for the funeral and had an unpleasant encounter with D's brother, niece and her boyfriend.
They were horribly rude. All 3 of them.
And after the restaurant after the cemetery service, about 40 family members went to dinner at a restaurant and we were in the banquet room. My phone was stolen off the table and was found destroyed, soaking wet with the Otter Box cover taken off of it and at the bottom of the trash can in the men's restroom at the restaurant. The surveillance cameras don't extend into the banquet room so we don't know for sure who did it. But based on their location in the room and their vendetta against me, I'm pretty sure it was one or two or three of 3 possible people. I was a victim of a crime after a family funeral, for God's sake. Theft and destruction of property. Nice. I never named names at the family dinner of who I suspected stole and damaged my phone.
So this next part is funny/interesting/sad.......D's niece went up to D and said that I implied she stole my phone and she had nothing to do with it! Funny thing is, I never implied that she had anything to do with it. Guilty conscience, much?! I'm sure she is NOT the one who threw it in the men's restroom trashcan. It had to be a man. Then D's brother told his sister that he saw my comment on FB that I posted on my SIL's post about my phone. And he said that I edited my comment. SO darn creepy, I tell ya. I never posted anything about the phone incident on my own FB acct. My SIL did, and I just commented on it and I did edit it. But here's the even creepier part..... Who is stalking my FB comments on someone else's FB page? Who is taking screen shots and sending them to my BIL? Who is the loser that has nothing better to do than stalk me about what comments I make and tattle?! And I never named names on FB about who I suspected stole and damaged my phone. Again, guilty conscience, much?! Hey, if the shoe fits....lace it up and wear it for God's sake. That's all I'm saying. I'm not accusing them of stealing and destroying my phone....along with the pictures from the cemetery on my phone. I'm just recounting how they both took the time and effort to say they had nothing to do with it. Even though we didn't directly approach them about it.
My dog had her surgery for the mass in her leg that ate away 2/3 of her femur bone and had a skin graft.
Another family member is sick with cancer now.
Thank God a new month is beginning tomorrow. I can't take any more bad news this month.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
The End of A Story
I think I wrote my last post late Sunday night (after midnight). Dave's SIL passed away on Monday afternoon. Her daughter barely made it home in time from overseas on Sunday night to see her and say goodbye. Her mother was unresponsive and didn't get to say anything to her daughter.
Her funeral was today. We did not go. Her last words to me on this earth a month ago when she spewed venomous words at me for 40 minutes were, "You are a cancer in this family." (Interesting choice of words from a cancer patient, no?) And then she screamed "F-You" at me, and that is when I finally chose to end the phone call and not take her verbal nastiness anymore. My brother-in-law's last words to me during that phone call were, "You are not a member of this family anymore. Nobody likes you."
Last week I found out they told my in-laws they would never accept my daughter into the family after we brought her home.
Imagine that. A little 7 lb 3 oz baby.....they were so threatened by the mere thought of my daughter that they would never accept her into the family? Grow up people, for God's sake.
I'm sure that the reason they said this (and held true to their word of not accepting my daughter into the family and barely acknowledging her existence) was because she took away their daughter's position of being the only granddaughter on that side of the family. Jealousy rearing it's ugly head. Sigh....
And we found out they were talking sh*t about us behind our backs for the past 2 years at least. D talked to his brother and told him all the reasons we would not be at the funeral. That we're sure she told her family just her side of the story....she probably didn't tell them the whole story- about the things she said and did to me. So her family would probably cause a scene if we showed up to the funeral. His brother said he understood and wasn't mad. He didn't even try and say that stuff wasn't true.
So my thoughts on this event......
I am sorry she died. I am sorry she had to suffer through that awful disease. I am sorry her daughter is left without a mother at such a young age. I wish I knew why she hated me so much. D and I have gone over this so many times.....trying to think of any reason why she hated me so much. I have honestly never done anything to her in the almost 21 years that I knew her to warrant her thinking so poorly of me. It is sad. The whole situation is beyond sad. I never in a million years would have thought D and I and our kids wouldn't have attended her funeral. My real SIL didn't go either. And my in-laws didn't go....my MIL is way too sick to travel and my FIL didn't want to leave her alone. So none of the immediate family was at the funeral on our side.
I posted a quick thing on FB about her passing. People ask me all the time how she is doing, so I figured I'd write a post about it to inform everyone at once. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, just kind of matter-of-fact. People were so kind and posted such sweet and supportive messages. I kind of felt like a fraud. But how do I post on FB that in reality, my SIL was a really mean person to me and in the end she told me she'd never liked me? So I just thanked everyone for the kind words and kept it short and sweet.
We tried to patch things up with her in the summer. That backfired. My in-laws tried to get everyone together this spring. They refused. We said we would go and would be nice and polite.
Sometimes I get sick of being told to forgive and forget and be the bigger person. It really didn't get us anywhere with them.
BTW, she had the same brain tumor as the girl whose story has gone viral recently who moved to a state that has dying with dignity laws. The girl in the news does not want to experience the horrific suffering that comes with this brain tumor. D's SIL was unresponsive the last week of her life. It happened suddenly, so she didn't have time to say goodbye to everyone. She suffered a lot in the end. It was a horrible way to finish out her days on this earth. I still don't think I could ever do it. I don't have the guts to do it. But I also have 4 young kids who rely on me...a lot. I would fight my hardest to spend as much time as possible with them.
OK now that I've written the end of the story....her story.....on my blog, I am putting it to rest. I am not going to talk about her anymore. I can ask myself the same question of why she hated me a million times, and I will never have the answer. I wish things had ended differently. I wish we had made up and were on good terms when she passed. I really do. But wishes don't always come true.
Her funeral was today. We did not go. Her last words to me on this earth a month ago when she spewed venomous words at me for 40 minutes were, "You are a cancer in this family." (Interesting choice of words from a cancer patient, no?) And then she screamed "F-You" at me, and that is when I finally chose to end the phone call and not take her verbal nastiness anymore. My brother-in-law's last words to me during that phone call were, "You are not a member of this family anymore. Nobody likes you."
Last week I found out they told my in-laws they would never accept my daughter into the family after we brought her home.
Imagine that. A little 7 lb 3 oz baby.....they were so threatened by the mere thought of my daughter that they would never accept her into the family? Grow up people, for God's sake.
I'm sure that the reason they said this (and held true to their word of not accepting my daughter into the family and barely acknowledging her existence) was because she took away their daughter's position of being the only granddaughter on that side of the family. Jealousy rearing it's ugly head. Sigh....
And we found out they were talking sh*t about us behind our backs for the past 2 years at least. D talked to his brother and told him all the reasons we would not be at the funeral. That we're sure she told her family just her side of the story....she probably didn't tell them the whole story- about the things she said and did to me. So her family would probably cause a scene if we showed up to the funeral. His brother said he understood and wasn't mad. He didn't even try and say that stuff wasn't true.
So my thoughts on this event......
I am sorry she died. I am sorry she had to suffer through that awful disease. I am sorry her daughter is left without a mother at such a young age. I wish I knew why she hated me so much. D and I have gone over this so many times.....trying to think of any reason why she hated me so much. I have honestly never done anything to her in the almost 21 years that I knew her to warrant her thinking so poorly of me. It is sad. The whole situation is beyond sad. I never in a million years would have thought D and I and our kids wouldn't have attended her funeral. My real SIL didn't go either. And my in-laws didn't go....my MIL is way too sick to travel and my FIL didn't want to leave her alone. So none of the immediate family was at the funeral on our side.
I posted a quick thing on FB about her passing. People ask me all the time how she is doing, so I figured I'd write a post about it to inform everyone at once. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, just kind of matter-of-fact. People were so kind and posted such sweet and supportive messages. I kind of felt like a fraud. But how do I post on FB that in reality, my SIL was a really mean person to me and in the end she told me she'd never liked me? So I just thanked everyone for the kind words and kept it short and sweet.
We tried to patch things up with her in the summer. That backfired. My in-laws tried to get everyone together this spring. They refused. We said we would go and would be nice and polite.
Sometimes I get sick of being told to forgive and forget and be the bigger person. It really didn't get us anywhere with them.
BTW, she had the same brain tumor as the girl whose story has gone viral recently who moved to a state that has dying with dignity laws. The girl in the news does not want to experience the horrific suffering that comes with this brain tumor. D's SIL was unresponsive the last week of her life. It happened suddenly, so she didn't have time to say goodbye to everyone. She suffered a lot in the end. It was a horrible way to finish out her days on this earth. I still don't think I could ever do it. I don't have the guts to do it. But I also have 4 young kids who rely on me...a lot. I would fight my hardest to spend as much time as possible with them.
OK now that I've written the end of the story....her story.....on my blog, I am putting it to rest. I am not going to talk about her anymore. I can ask myself the same question of why she hated me a million times, and I will never have the answer. I wish things had ended differently. I wish we had made up and were on good terms when she passed. I really do. But wishes don't always come true.
Monday, October 13, 2014
October Update
So much going on here! And not all of it has been good. My 7th grader who is at a new school in town this year (Ba.sis) got his 1st quarter report card recently, and he got straight A's! He has 9 different classes, one of them being Mandarin! My 4th grader got straight A's too! Still waiting to see my 1st grader's report card. I'm so proud of those kids. They work hard.
My MIL has stage 4 ovarian cancer. We recently went back East to visit with her over the kids' fall break. She is pretty weak and thin and sits in her recliner all day. Barely eats or drinks anything. She just got a hospital bed the other day. I'm glad we got to see her. Friday is our 16 year anniversary. I have known her for almost 21 years. It is so sad that she won't be around for much longer. When we were saying goodbye, she hugged me and said, "Enjoy my grandchildren."
OH. MY. GOD. Tears and tears on my end after that comment. She won't get to see her grandchildren again.
Dave's SIL (the one who is so mean and nasty to me) who has the brain tumor.....I mentioned she called me up last month and chewed me a new one. Well this past week she went into hospice. Her tumor grew and she had complications and wasn't very responsive. We won't, however, get to say goodbye to her. Dave's brother didn't even call him with the update- D's father told us. Good Lord, I am so sick of family drama.
My sweet 2-year-old dog.....she has a mass on her femur that ate away 2/3 of her bone. She is having surgery soon to clean out the mass (it might be from valley fever) and do a bone graft from her shoulder bone I think. Hopefully this will work and she won't have to have her leg amputated.
My brother is getting married in February. I'm so excited to have a new SIL. I'm also excited for them to have kids so my kids can have some cousins!
I got to see my childhood besties when we were back East, so that was nice. D got to see his childhood friends too.
Other than that, our lives are filled with baseball, soccer, tennis, homework, friends, playdates, mommy & me dance and also music class with Cambria, and time with the kids.
I haven't mentioned anything in this post about our open adoption....not too, too much to report. Things are going well. I had a photo book made for Cambria's 2nd birthday and I am going to mail it this week to her birth mom. I also want to get pictures printed to mail to her two birth grandmas.
I can't wait to celebrate 16 years with the hubster on Friday!
My MIL has stage 4 ovarian cancer. We recently went back East to visit with her over the kids' fall break. She is pretty weak and thin and sits in her recliner all day. Barely eats or drinks anything. She just got a hospital bed the other day. I'm glad we got to see her. Friday is our 16 year anniversary. I have known her for almost 21 years. It is so sad that she won't be around for much longer. When we were saying goodbye, she hugged me and said, "Enjoy my grandchildren."
OH. MY. GOD. Tears and tears on my end after that comment. She won't get to see her grandchildren again.
Dave's SIL (the one who is so mean and nasty to me) who has the brain tumor.....I mentioned she called me up last month and chewed me a new one. Well this past week she went into hospice. Her tumor grew and she had complications and wasn't very responsive. We won't, however, get to say goodbye to her. Dave's brother didn't even call him with the update- D's father told us. Good Lord, I am so sick of family drama.
My sweet 2-year-old dog.....she has a mass on her femur that ate away 2/3 of her bone. She is having surgery soon to clean out the mass (it might be from valley fever) and do a bone graft from her shoulder bone I think. Hopefully this will work and she won't have to have her leg amputated.
My brother is getting married in February. I'm so excited to have a new SIL. I'm also excited for them to have kids so my kids can have some cousins!
I got to see my childhood besties when we were back East, so that was nice. D got to see his childhood friends too.
Other than that, our lives are filled with baseball, soccer, tennis, homework, friends, playdates, mommy & me dance and also music class with Cambria, and time with the kids.
I haven't mentioned anything in this post about our open adoption....not too, too much to report. Things are going well. I had a photo book made for Cambria's 2nd birthday and I am going to mail it this week to her birth mom. I also want to get pictures printed to mail to her two birth grandmas.
I can't wait to celebrate 16 years with the hubster on Friday!
Monday, September 22, 2014
Almost 2!
Tomorrow is my baby girl's 2nd birthday. Unbelievable that she has been in our lives for 2 years already! She has brightened my days and my life. Don't get me wrong, I love those boys of mine. But having daughter is different. She calls me "mom-mom"! I love it! She calls Dave "dada". She calls Zack "Kack" and she says Josh perfectly "Josh". She doesn't really say Jacob. She calls Sophie "Fo Fo" (We sometimes call Sophie "So So".) She calls Laney our other dog "Layna". She knows who Jacob is, she must just have a hard time saying his name.
We had her birthday party yesterday at the pool in our little sub-division with a bunch of our family friends and their kids. So much fun. Tomorrow I'm having a little playdate with some of her 2 year old friends at this indoor play place. We did the Hello Kitty theme this year. I figure she has many years ahead of her to do the Princess theme! ;)
2 years ago today, I knew for exactly one day that we were matched with her birth mom. I felt like I was keeping the biggest secret on the planet! She wasn't due until October 10th, so I thought I still had some more time to get ready for her arrival. I remember on this day 2 years ago thinking the whole situation sounded too good to be true. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for someone to rain on my parade and shatter my dreams. I wouldn't talk to her birth mom for the first time until the following day, her birthday, a few hours before she was born. So surreal. To this day I sometimes can't believe that I put on my big girl panties and got on that red eye flight all by myself and went to the hospital in NC all by myself to meet my baby girl and a hospital room full of strangers.....who have now become extended family to me. I can't believe that I was a witness to the most extraordinary event to occur. That this young woman would trust Dave and me enough to place her child with us to raise her....as if born to us.....by adoption. The adoption paperwork says something to that effect that she is legally our daughter and entitled to family land, etc. as if born to us.
I've said this before, but that memory of the 4 of us in that hospital room.....Cambria's 4 parents....2 by birth and 2 by adoption......hugging and saying goodbye will be forever burned into my memory. And the tears. All of the tears that were shed by all 4 of us. It is not something I take lightly. It would literally kill me to have to say goodbye to my child that I had just delivered and give her to strangers that lived across the country. And here, this young woman, who is so much younger than me, chose to do this and was so strong and brave in that hospital room and put on her big girl panties and signed those relinquishment papers with confidence.
I am in awe of her.
I talked to her the other day. We talked a little bit about our birthday party plans for Cami's bday party. She said she still does NOT regret her decision to place her baby for adoption. She said she misses her, but doesn't regret her choice.
We are still trying to get to NC. Turns out it's kind of hard to fly across the country with 4 kids! This fall is so busy every weekend. And we are going to Ohio soon to visit Dave's mom who has stage 4 ovarian cancer and recently found out she is not a candidate for chemo. So with that being said, her time is limited. I explained this to Cambria's birth mom and she understood and said to let her know when we could make it out there to visit. Pretty soon it will be cold and I am not a fan of flying when there is a possibility of snow and ice. I may have spent the first part of my life in OH, but I'm an AZ girl now through and through. ;)
I know a lot of adoptees feel that they are unloved and unwanted by their birth moms. I am so happy that I know the truth about Cambria and her birth mom and her birth father. She was wanted by them....very much and she is loved by them to this day. Also her birth grandmas love her too and sent happy birthday wishes on Face.book. I get a little jealous when some of my adoptive mom friends post pics of cards and letters and birthday gifts their birth mom sent them and Cambria probably won't get anything more than the FB birthday wishes. But it's the thought that counts, right? I know her NC family is all thinking of her, and Cambria certainly doesn't need any more gifts. I am going to make her birth mom a Shutter.fly picture book after I take pictures of her tomorrow on her actual birthday. I will get pictures printed also and sent them to her birth grandmas and her adoptive grandmas and her aunt (D's sister).
I can't wait to see my birthday girl tomorrow morning when she wakes up and celebrate her! Her birth mom made an interesting and insightful comment in the hospital....she said she could have chosen to have an abortion, but instead chose to give her baby life and chose adoption.
Powerful words.
I am feeling very nostalgic and tearful on this evening before her 2nd birthday. I love that little girl so much, even though she is already having 2 year old temper tantrums! Haha!
And maybe someday I will figure out how to post a picture on my new computer.
On a side note, if you've read all my posts, you'd know that D's SIL and I don't exactly get along. Well, I finally got the chance to talk to her a couple weeks ago. There's 40 minutes of my life that I won't ever get back. Sigh.... She called me and literally screamed at me. Yes, this is the chic with the stage 4 brain tumor that has come back again. She sounded anything but weak and feeble and fragile on the phone. I think she thought I was just going to let her scream at me and insult me and not say anything back. WRONG. I took this chance to try and defend myself and make her see that she is in the wrong here and out of line. Oh and she wrote the most hideous and nasty comments to me on a FB post that my SIL posted. My SIL deleted the post and comments. I actually wrote a huge blog post about it, and decided not to post it. I do not like to be mean to people and I feel bad that I said some not-so-nice things to her, but the truth hurts and I am a truth teller. I was hoping that eventually we would all just be able to get along and have things be peaceful between us. WRONG again. I have apologized to her multiple times (even though I don't feel I was in the wrong and still no apologies from her.) Sigh.....
She was so irrational on the phone. It was actually a little bit concerning how irrational she was. She would not listen to reason on any issue I brought up to her and called her out on. I have chosen not to talk to her again. The whole situation is so sad. Anyways, it's over and done with. And then she started picking fights with other members of D's family. So it's not just me. But one last thing....in case you were wondering why she got so mad at me & called me and yelled at me and hurled insults at me.....my real SIL posted a picture of my daughter on her FB page and I commented and thanked her for being the best aunt to my kids (even if she was their only aunt!) and D's SIL went ballistic after she read that. My SIL and I both asked her why she was so mad because she has refused to acknowledge my kids' existence for almost 2 years. Of course she had no answers to the hard questions I asked her. It just makes me sad that Cambria's legal aunt and her cousin refuse to acknowledge her existence. Fortunately, my daughter has plenty of other people that love her- the remainder of her adoptive family and all of her birth family.
Today is my baby girl's last day of being one year old!!
We had her birthday party yesterday at the pool in our little sub-division with a bunch of our family friends and their kids. So much fun. Tomorrow I'm having a little playdate with some of her 2 year old friends at this indoor play place. We did the Hello Kitty theme this year. I figure she has many years ahead of her to do the Princess theme! ;)
2 years ago today, I knew for exactly one day that we were matched with her birth mom. I felt like I was keeping the biggest secret on the planet! She wasn't due until October 10th, so I thought I still had some more time to get ready for her arrival. I remember on this day 2 years ago thinking the whole situation sounded too good to be true. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for someone to rain on my parade and shatter my dreams. I wouldn't talk to her birth mom for the first time until the following day, her birthday, a few hours before she was born. So surreal. To this day I sometimes can't believe that I put on my big girl panties and got on that red eye flight all by myself and went to the hospital in NC all by myself to meet my baby girl and a hospital room full of strangers.....who have now become extended family to me. I can't believe that I was a witness to the most extraordinary event to occur. That this young woman would trust Dave and me enough to place her child with us to raise her....as if born to us.....by adoption. The adoption paperwork says something to that effect that she is legally our daughter and entitled to family land, etc. as if born to us.
I've said this before, but that memory of the 4 of us in that hospital room.....Cambria's 4 parents....2 by birth and 2 by adoption......hugging and saying goodbye will be forever burned into my memory. And the tears. All of the tears that were shed by all 4 of us. It is not something I take lightly. It would literally kill me to have to say goodbye to my child that I had just delivered and give her to strangers that lived across the country. And here, this young woman, who is so much younger than me, chose to do this and was so strong and brave in that hospital room and put on her big girl panties and signed those relinquishment papers with confidence.
I am in awe of her.
I talked to her the other day. We talked a little bit about our birthday party plans for Cami's bday party. She said she still does NOT regret her decision to place her baby for adoption. She said she misses her, but doesn't regret her choice.
We are still trying to get to NC. Turns out it's kind of hard to fly across the country with 4 kids! This fall is so busy every weekend. And we are going to Ohio soon to visit Dave's mom who has stage 4 ovarian cancer and recently found out she is not a candidate for chemo. So with that being said, her time is limited. I explained this to Cambria's birth mom and she understood and said to let her know when we could make it out there to visit. Pretty soon it will be cold and I am not a fan of flying when there is a possibility of snow and ice. I may have spent the first part of my life in OH, but I'm an AZ girl now through and through. ;)
I know a lot of adoptees feel that they are unloved and unwanted by their birth moms. I am so happy that I know the truth about Cambria and her birth mom and her birth father. She was wanted by them....very much and she is loved by them to this day. Also her birth grandmas love her too and sent happy birthday wishes on Face.book. I get a little jealous when some of my adoptive mom friends post pics of cards and letters and birthday gifts their birth mom sent them and Cambria probably won't get anything more than the FB birthday wishes. But it's the thought that counts, right? I know her NC family is all thinking of her, and Cambria certainly doesn't need any more gifts. I am going to make her birth mom a Shutter.fly picture book after I take pictures of her tomorrow on her actual birthday. I will get pictures printed also and sent them to her birth grandmas and her adoptive grandmas and her aunt (D's sister).
I can't wait to see my birthday girl tomorrow morning when she wakes up and celebrate her! Her birth mom made an interesting and insightful comment in the hospital....she said she could have chosen to have an abortion, but instead chose to give her baby life and chose adoption.
Powerful words.
I am feeling very nostalgic and tearful on this evening before her 2nd birthday. I love that little girl so much, even though she is already having 2 year old temper tantrums! Haha!
And maybe someday I will figure out how to post a picture on my new computer.
On a side note, if you've read all my posts, you'd know that D's SIL and I don't exactly get along. Well, I finally got the chance to talk to her a couple weeks ago. There's 40 minutes of my life that I won't ever get back. Sigh.... She called me and literally screamed at me. Yes, this is the chic with the stage 4 brain tumor that has come back again. She sounded anything but weak and feeble and fragile on the phone. I think she thought I was just going to let her scream at me and insult me and not say anything back. WRONG. I took this chance to try and defend myself and make her see that she is in the wrong here and out of line. Oh and she wrote the most hideous and nasty comments to me on a FB post that my SIL posted. My SIL deleted the post and comments. I actually wrote a huge blog post about it, and decided not to post it. I do not like to be mean to people and I feel bad that I said some not-so-nice things to her, but the truth hurts and I am a truth teller. I was hoping that eventually we would all just be able to get along and have things be peaceful between us. WRONG again. I have apologized to her multiple times (even though I don't feel I was in the wrong and still no apologies from her.) Sigh.....
She was so irrational on the phone. It was actually a little bit concerning how irrational she was. She would not listen to reason on any issue I brought up to her and called her out on. I have chosen not to talk to her again. The whole situation is so sad. Anyways, it's over and done with. And then she started picking fights with other members of D's family. So it's not just me. But one last thing....in case you were wondering why she got so mad at me & called me and yelled at me and hurled insults at me.....my real SIL posted a picture of my daughter on her FB page and I commented and thanked her for being the best aunt to my kids (even if she was their only aunt!) and D's SIL went ballistic after she read that. My SIL and I both asked her why she was so mad because she has refused to acknowledge my kids' existence for almost 2 years. Of course she had no answers to the hard questions I asked her. It just makes me sad that Cambria's legal aunt and her cousin refuse to acknowledge her existence. Fortunately, my daughter has plenty of other people that love her- the remainder of her adoptive family and all of her birth family.
Today is my baby girl's last day of being one year old!!
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Epic Fail
OK so I just tried to copy and paste a picture from my FB acct to this blog, and of course I couldn't get it to post. UGH!!
Cambria is 23 months old today!! Can't believe it!! I am having her 2 year old birthday pictures taken next week, and I'll get a CD of the pictures from the photographer. So I should be able to post some of those pictures to this blog. Cross your fingers for me for good luck with technology! ;)
Cambria is 23 months old today!! Can't believe it!! I am having her 2 year old birthday pictures taken next week, and I'll get a CD of the pictures from the photographer. So I should be able to post some of those pictures to this blog. Cross your fingers for me for good luck with technology! ;)
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