Thursday, February 6, 2014

Big Sister

Cambria is now officially a big sister!  Her baby sister was born last night, and is a tiny little peanut!  I've seen pictures, and she is so beautiful!  (But I knew based on what Cambria's older birth brothers and sisters and Cambria look like that this baby would be beautiful!)

The girls are 16.5 months apart.  Cambria's older brother is just 9 months and 3 weeks older than Cambria.  So that makes 3 siblings in 2 years 2 months and 1 week.   I don't know how her body did it.  Mine certainly wouldn't have done this well with 3 back-to-back pregnancies.  But her birth mom is strong- physically and emotionally.

This may sound weird, but if I am being totally honest, this new adoption has left me feeling a little sad, like my family and I have lost a little piece of ourselves with Cambria's biological sibling not coming to live with us.  My husband has said that I act like I am the one who is making the heartbreaking, difficult decision to place my baby for adoption.

I talked to my mom tonight, the only one I can really tell my feelings to about this whole thing (except for random, anonymous people who read my blog!  HA!)  (and except for my husband, but see his response to this whole situation above), and my mom and I both said we feel bad for Cambria's birth mom.  We feel bad for her having to go thru this gut-wrenching experience twice, and in such a short period of time.  Yes, she is an adult, and yes, she made the decisions to do things that resulted in this, but still.  But still.  She was in labor by herself, and the thought of that made me so sad.  I was in labor surrounded by my husband and parents.  I told her if I lived closer, I would have been there by her side.  She said she knows that, and thank you.

Anyways, the new adoptive mom texted me pictures and updates.  I'm so glad we have this relationship so the girls can be in each other's lives when they are older.  :)

Ahhhh…..adoption.  I've heard it described as the gift that keeps on giving (Unfortunately not always in a good way.)  So far we have been lucky and blessed to have a good open adoption with Cambria's birth family.

Oh, on a slightly different note….one of my birth mom friends posted a link to this video made my K.ay Jew.elers.  In it, this adoptive couple is waiting in the waiting room of an adoption agency, and the husband gives the wife this necklace to celebrate becoming a mother.  Then the adoption worker comes in and hands them their new perfect baby.  As if poof it's that easy!!

The birth moms who saw that video were not happy- they were totally left out of the equation!  What the heck?!  Where was the birth mom?  The woman who is responsible for giving these 2 people their happy-ever-after ending?  Someone commented and said notice the birth mom is comfortably (for the adoptive parents) absent. My friend commented that she too was traded a necklace for her baby.

I'm an adoptive parent, and I didn't even like commercial.  The birth mom should be getting the necklace, she is the one who sacrificed.  We did give Cambria's birth mom a bracelet, it had a heart charm on it to symbolize that she would always be in our hearts.  I didn't get any jewelry from my husband (he said I got the baby, that should be enough!  And he is right.)  Someone else commented that the husband is simply giving her a piece of jewelry as a "push present", like a lot of women receive after childbirth, that it has nothing to do with adoption, but with the act of becoming a mother.  My husband did give me a "push present" after I had my 3rd son.  I was joking that in all the romance novels and celebrity births that the husband got the wife a "push present" and where was mine?!  He got me a necklace and ring with my son's birthstone on it.  And it very well may have been from K.ay Jew.elers!  Lol I'm serious.  I'm gonna have to go and see if I can find the box!

Anyways, please pray for Cambria's birth mom……that she can find peace in her adoption decision and that she never has to go thru this again.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

She Looks Just Like You!

2 more.  2 more comments about how Cambria looks just like me, that is.  I was at Ko.hl's (Shhh!  Don't tell my hubby!  Haha!), and as we were heading out the door, this woman says, "Your daugther is soooo beautiful!  Can you turn her around so I can get a better look?"  

Say what??

So I say sure, and she says, "She is so beautiful, and those eyes!  She certainly gets her looks from you!  Well, I don't know what the father looks like, but she looks like you!"

I chuckled and was sooo tempted to mess with her and say, "Yeah, I don't know what the father looks like either."  But instead I smiled and said, "Thank you.  I think she is beautiful too.  And she is adopted, so unfortunately I can't take credit for her good looks."  And she said that she has friends who adopted a baby who looks just like the adoptive parents. 

I do know what Cambria's birth parents look like, along with a lot of their extended family.  She doesn't really look that similar to most of them.  I think she looks the most like her half-sister who is 5 years old, and absolutely beautiful.  So it's weird that she looks so similar to my family, but not similar to a lot of her biological family.  I can't wait to see what her new baby birth sister looks like, who is going to make her arrival any day now!  I even know the name of her new birth sister.  And I love it!

Then I went to my doctor's office for my flu shot (finally!) and the nurse said how beautiful Cambria was, and that she looked just like me and those eyes!  Those beautiful eyes!  I said thanks, and it's so ironic because she is adopted.  And she said she has friends who adopted a baby, and the baby looks just like them too.

God has a plan when he creates families.  Some look alike, and some don't.  But he knows the perfect place for everybody to land.

Monday, January 27, 2014

It Happened Again

So this post will make more sense if you read my previous post.  The post about how just the other day, two men made comments where they assumed Cambria was our biological child (one of the men even made a comment about how we could "just adopt" another girl down the road!)

So today while my oldest two sons were at guitar lessons, my youngest son and Cambria and I went to the store to get a few things...specifically a few more things to go with a baby shower present for a friend.  So we're at the register checking out, and the male cashier who looked like he was in his early-mid 30's said that Cambria's eyes are so beautiful.  (Which is very true~ girlfriend has got THEE best blue eyes!)  He then goes on to say that I did a good job with giving her those beautiful blue eyes.

Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for those baby blues!  I just said thank you and left.  Was it necessary to tell him she's adopted so I had nothing to do with her eyes? 

Anyways, Jacob has a project on Albert Einstein due this week, so I'm busy printing off resource material for that.

Can I please tell anybody that will listen to me whine that I am so darn sick of all of these projects that my oldest two sons have to do this school year, along with a ridiculous amount of homework.  I don't have a lot of time to write on this blog, because I'm too busy helping my middle son write on his class blog every week!  They both have daily homework (and I do mean daily) math and spelling worksheets, plus book reports and presentations on these book reports and the blog I mentioned, then once a week writing assignments in a journal to be done at home, then project after project after project and both kids seem to have these things due at the same time.  Sorry, I am just over it.  And I can't wait to see how this all plays out when baseball season starts in March (insert sarcastic tone here).  With three kids playing baseball and they are all in different age groups, we are at the baseball field 5 nights a week (and sometimes on Saturdays too).  I hope my sons can keep up their straight A's that they've both gotten all year.  My 6th grader has homework every weekend too.  Can't he get a day off? 

BTW, did you know that Albert Einstein is credited with a bunch of really good quotes? 
My favorite one, that I say all the time, is:
What is the definition of insanity?  Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.

I have to go get lab tests done in the morning~ and I haven't studied for them yet!  Ha ha ha!  No seriously, my hair has been breaking.....like it's snapping off.  It looks like I have layers, only really bad layers that are all uneven all over my head.  VERY attractive!  HA!  I love my hair (sorry if that seems shallow- especially coming from the girl that doesn't own makeup other than pink lipgloss and chapstick!), and I hope that there isn't something seriously wrong internally that is causing this.  Plus I have to have my cholesterol levels checked.....becuase it's time, actually I am way overdue.  Tsk tsk on this doctor!  I am hoping I don't get any surprises like "you have diabetes!"  or that my thyroid is seriously out of whack.  More on this later, after I get my results. 

Goodnight!  Time to study!  lol    :)

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Interesting Comments

We had 2 interesting conversations today with strangers.  Dave and I were at lunch with our kids today, and this man behind us turned around and said very loudly in Dave's ear, "So let me guess....the wife wouldn't let you stop until you got your girl?!?!"   And Dave replied, "Yep, pretty much!"

This comment was interesting for a number of reasons, but one of them being he assumed Cambria was our biological daughter.  (Another reason being that his man implied Dave had no say in the growing of our family?!)

Then we went to the Verizon store (the last place I ever want to go) with all 4 kids.  Call us crazy or brave or just plain dumb!  My oldest son finally earned his cell phone.  He's like the last kid in 6th grade at his school to get his phone, but whatevs.  Anyways, it always takes forever to get out of that place.  And the kids get antsy (and so does mom!).  As we were leaving, our salesman says, "wow, you guys sure have your hands full!  Are all these your kids?"  I hear that comment so much that it annoys me so I kind of smirked and said something about how all the sons were on the journey to add a daughter to our family and God really wanted us to have 3 sons before he blessed us with a daughter.  So the salesman looks at Cambria and says, "Well, you guys can just ADOPT another baby girl in about 10 years or so!"

Wow....there was that phrase that I hate so much "you can JUST adopt"........like it's so easy!  As if!
And that he assumed Cambria was our biological daughter. 

Then I started thinking about adding another child to our family in 10 years!  When I'm 53?  No way.  I know there are plenty of adoptive parents that are in their 50's and I applaud them.  This mama would want to adopt another daughter now.  I was so much more tired this time around with night-time feedings when I was 41.  I can't imagine 53.  And Dave is definitely not up for doing the infant thing in his 50's.

Anyways, I saw this post on FB today in one of the adoption groups asking about how people's experiences with trans-racial adoption have been.  We were open to adoption children of other races, we just happened to get chosen by caucasian parents.  We also didn't bother to correct either one of these men today and tell them that we had, in fact, already gone down the adoption trail with our daughter.  Why?  We certainly don't try to hide the fact that she is adopted, but every person out there doesn't need to know that piece of info. 

I just wonder what Cambria will do when she is old enough to understand these comments.  Will she correct the person that says we can "just adopt" a baby down the road and assumes that she is our biological child?

In other news, I just read a blog post by a woman who just recently adopted a baby that was born at the hospital that I used to drive by every single day on my way to med school when I lived in California!!  And my BFF from med school used to work in the lab at that hospital!  It brought back a flood of memories for me...when I was young and full of energy! And I was so career-minded and only had one goal in mind...to become a doctor.  I had no intentions of getting married or having a baby (let alone 4!). That same BFF that worked at that hospital always said in med school that she wanted to stop taking her birth control pills that day and have 4 sons!  That always made me want to go home and take an extra birth control pill that day!  HA!  And the funny thing is....life is what happens when you are busy making plans.  You make plans, and God laughs.  That same friend has 2 kids-a son and a daughter.  And she has told me how much she LOVES having a daughter.  (See?  I'm not so crazy for desperately wanting a daughter.)  And I have 4 kiddos when I used to think I would have none.

Anyways~ the weather has been so beautiful here, we've been out and about enjoying it.  We had our youngest son's birthday party last night.  He had so much fun.  We went to Disneyland over MLK weekend.  I was supposed to run in that Disney.land Tinker.bell 1/2 marathon.  Well, of course I got sick over Christmas break and am still not 100% back to normal despite taking a ton of antibiotics, cold meds, etc.  So I could barely walk around the Happiest Place on Earth, let alone run/walk 13.1 miles!

Sigh....there's always next year, right?!  Silver lining is the kids had a blast at Disney.land and CA Adven.ture.  And that's all that matters.  :)

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

#100

I forgot to mention that yesterday's post was also post #100 on this blog!  Kind of fitting for the 1st anniversary of "Gotcha Day".    :)

That is all.

:)

I'm still sick with a horrible sinus infection and my throat is killing me and my nose is SO stuffed up, and my ears are plugged up.  I am exhausted and the antibiotics are not kicking in fast enough for my liking.  Wah wah wah!  Whiny Wendy  over here today.  Sorry.  I am too busy and don't have time to be sick.

And with that, off to bed I go.  Goodnight! 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

"Gotcha Day" 1 Year Anniversary

January 7th.  Today marks the one year anniversary of when our adoption was finalized!  Lovingly referred to in the adoption community as "Gotcha Day"........I'm not sure how I feel about that term. I don't really love it.  Some people (not adoptive parents) find it offensive.  So I think I will refer to January 7th as "Adoption Finalization Day".

One year ago on this day, Cambria became our daughter legally forever.  She joined our family & our family was complete (legally) on January 7th of last year.  She actually completed our family the day we brought her home from the hospital, but with adoption, anything can happen.

I don't even think I mentioned this happy day on Facebook last year.  I got the paperwork, and had a hard time reading through the legal court documents thru my tears.  Tears of joy, of course.  But it was such an emotional day.  I remember after I finally read through the whole adoption decree, I held Cambria in my arms and I kissed and hugged her and said, "You're mine!  You're my daughter!!"
I called Dave at work to tell him about our "Gotcha Day", and he could barely understand me on the phone thru my blubbering tears!

But on that day, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief that she wouldn't be taken from us.  I couldn't bear the thought of losing my precious angel.  Even though neither one of her birth parents contested the adoption, there is still that uneasy feeling in the back of your head until the papers are signed and stamped in court! 

Happy Day around here!  I love adoption & what it has done for my family.  :)

Friday, January 3, 2014

Happy New Year

Wow it's 3 days into the new year, and I am actually typing up a blog post!

Sorry if my last post was a bit heavy.  As you all know, life is not always sunshine & rainbows 365 days a year.  I try not to blog about unpleasant stuff too much, but sometimes I am busting at the seams to speak my mind.  So sorry to those who could do without the Debbie Downer post.  And for those of you who didn't mind it, there's more where that came from!  HA!

It's just pretty disheartening when D's brother and SIL were MIA this Christmas holiday season.  Not a word or even a cheap, generic holiday card from them.  It makes me sad for my children when their aunt, uncle & only cousin don't even acknowledge their existence, especially at the holidays.    Oh well, maybe someday D's SIL will quit being a bitter-party-of-one!  Yeah, right!  (See, I told you there was more where that came from!) 

But anyways, onto better subjects about better people....

Next weekend is birthday-o-rama celebrations!  Friday night is dinner/happy hour with a bunch of friends, and then Saturday night is another night of dinner & a movie celebrations for my birthday!
On Friday, my friend A and I are doing a combined celebration because our birthdays are a day apart, and we have mostly the same friends.  On Saturday night, there are 4 of us celebrating our birthdays that are all in a 2 week span!  It's the moms that were in my playgroup that I joined 8.5 years ago!  I met them when Zack was just 3 years old!

My parents came up to my house and watched my kids on New Year's Eve so Dave and I could go out with our friends.  We had a really fun time.  :)
Thanks M & D!
My parents  put from M & D on my Christmas presents, and this year I found myself doing the same!  (We give the kids some presents from us, and some presents from Santa.)  It was funny to watch Jacob look at a present and say, "Who are M & D?!?!"

Cambria has been walking more and more.  God, she is the cutest, sweetest little thing I've ever seen!
And she's only a little bit spoiled!  Hahahaha!  Yeah, right!   :)

My youngest son's birthday is in 2 weeks, so already I'm moving on from the holidays to planning a birthday party.

We are entering basketball season~ yay!  Basketball season is my favorite of them all.  Soccer season in the fall starts out in the scorching heat, and ends up with a game or two being canceled each season due to snow!  Baseball starts in March and it is still cold here, and it is windy in the spring here.  Then it warms up and the bees are out.  For those of you that don't know this, I hate bees.  And they always seem to find me and swarm all around me.  EEEK!  Basketball season is inside- so it is climate-controlled!  No rain, no snow, no wind, and no BEES!

Happy new year 2014 to everyone.  May the next 365 days of your lives (well, 362 days actually since it's January 3rd already!) be filled with mostly rainbows & sunshine and only a few dark clouds.