Happy Halloween! We had a fun night trick-or-treating with the kids and their friends and our friends. Then we went out for a family dinner.
This month has been a horrible month, truth be told. Other than our 16th anniversary, this month has sucked ass. To put it frankly.
Dave's SIL died from cancer.
My MIL died exactly a week later from cancer.
They both passed away over the noon hour.
D and I went back east for the funeral and had an unpleasant encounter with D's brother, niece and her boyfriend.
They were horribly rude. All 3 of them.
And after the restaurant after the cemetery service, about 40 family members went to dinner at a restaurant and we were in the banquet room. My phone was stolen off the table and was found destroyed, soaking wet with the Otter Box cover taken off of it and at the bottom of the trash can in the men's restroom at the restaurant. The surveillance cameras don't extend into the banquet room so we don't know for sure who did it. But based on their location in the room and their vendetta against me, I'm pretty sure it was one or two or three of 3 possible people. I was a victim of a crime after a family funeral, for God's sake. Theft and destruction of property. Nice. I never named names at the family dinner of who I suspected stole and damaged my phone.
So this next part is funny/interesting/sad.......D's niece went up to D and said that I implied she stole my phone and she had nothing to do with it! Funny thing is, I never implied that she had anything to do with it. Guilty conscience, much?! I'm sure she is NOT the one who threw it in the men's restroom trashcan. It had to be a man. Then D's brother told his sister that he saw my comment on FB that I posted on my SIL's post about my phone. And he said that I edited my comment. SO darn creepy, I tell ya. I never posted anything about the phone incident on my own FB acct. My SIL did, and I just commented on it and I did edit it. But here's the even creepier part..... Who is stalking my FB comments on someone else's FB page? Who is taking screen shots and sending them to my BIL? Who is the loser that has nothing better to do than stalk me about what comments I make and tattle?! And I never named names on FB about who I suspected stole and damaged my phone. Again, guilty conscience, much?! Hey, if the shoe fits....lace it up and wear it for God's sake. That's all I'm saying. I'm not accusing them of stealing and destroying my phone....along with the pictures from the cemetery on my phone. I'm just recounting how they both took the time and effort to say they had nothing to do with it. Even though we didn't directly approach them about it.
My dog had her surgery for the mass in her leg that ate away 2/3 of her femur bone and had a skin graft.
Another family member is sick with cancer now.
Thank God a new month is beginning tomorrow. I can't take any more bad news this month.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Thursday, October 16, 2014
The End of A Story
I think I wrote my last post late Sunday night (after midnight). Dave's SIL passed away on Monday afternoon. Her daughter barely made it home in time from overseas on Sunday night to see her and say goodbye. Her mother was unresponsive and didn't get to say anything to her daughter.
Her funeral was today. We did not go. Her last words to me on this earth a month ago when she spewed venomous words at me for 40 minutes were, "You are a cancer in this family." (Interesting choice of words from a cancer patient, no?) And then she screamed "F-You" at me, and that is when I finally chose to end the phone call and not take her verbal nastiness anymore. My brother-in-law's last words to me during that phone call were, "You are not a member of this family anymore. Nobody likes you."
Last week I found out they told my in-laws they would never accept my daughter into the family after we brought her home.
Imagine that. A little 7 lb 3 oz baby.....they were so threatened by the mere thought of my daughter that they would never accept her into the family? Grow up people, for God's sake.
I'm sure that the reason they said this (and held true to their word of not accepting my daughter into the family and barely acknowledging her existence) was because she took away their daughter's position of being the only granddaughter on that side of the family. Jealousy rearing it's ugly head. Sigh....
And we found out they were talking sh*t about us behind our backs for the past 2 years at least. D talked to his brother and told him all the reasons we would not be at the funeral. That we're sure she told her family just her side of the story....she probably didn't tell them the whole story- about the things she said and did to me. So her family would probably cause a scene if we showed up to the funeral. His brother said he understood and wasn't mad. He didn't even try and say that stuff wasn't true.
So my thoughts on this event......
I am sorry she died. I am sorry she had to suffer through that awful disease. I am sorry her daughter is left without a mother at such a young age. I wish I knew why she hated me so much. D and I have gone over this so many times.....trying to think of any reason why she hated me so much. I have honestly never done anything to her in the almost 21 years that I knew her to warrant her thinking so poorly of me. It is sad. The whole situation is beyond sad. I never in a million years would have thought D and I and our kids wouldn't have attended her funeral. My real SIL didn't go either. And my in-laws didn't go....my MIL is way too sick to travel and my FIL didn't want to leave her alone. So none of the immediate family was at the funeral on our side.
I posted a quick thing on FB about her passing. People ask me all the time how she is doing, so I figured I'd write a post about it to inform everyone at once. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, just kind of matter-of-fact. People were so kind and posted such sweet and supportive messages. I kind of felt like a fraud. But how do I post on FB that in reality, my SIL was a really mean person to me and in the end she told me she'd never liked me? So I just thanked everyone for the kind words and kept it short and sweet.
We tried to patch things up with her in the summer. That backfired. My in-laws tried to get everyone together this spring. They refused. We said we would go and would be nice and polite.
Sometimes I get sick of being told to forgive and forget and be the bigger person. It really didn't get us anywhere with them.
BTW, she had the same brain tumor as the girl whose story has gone viral recently who moved to a state that has dying with dignity laws. The girl in the news does not want to experience the horrific suffering that comes with this brain tumor. D's SIL was unresponsive the last week of her life. It happened suddenly, so she didn't have time to say goodbye to everyone. She suffered a lot in the end. It was a horrible way to finish out her days on this earth. I still don't think I could ever do it. I don't have the guts to do it. But I also have 4 young kids who rely on me...a lot. I would fight my hardest to spend as much time as possible with them.
OK now that I've written the end of the story....her story.....on my blog, I am putting it to rest. I am not going to talk about her anymore. I can ask myself the same question of why she hated me a million times, and I will never have the answer. I wish things had ended differently. I wish we had made up and were on good terms when she passed. I really do. But wishes don't always come true.
Her funeral was today. We did not go. Her last words to me on this earth a month ago when she spewed venomous words at me for 40 minutes were, "You are a cancer in this family." (Interesting choice of words from a cancer patient, no?) And then she screamed "F-You" at me, and that is when I finally chose to end the phone call and not take her verbal nastiness anymore. My brother-in-law's last words to me during that phone call were, "You are not a member of this family anymore. Nobody likes you."
Last week I found out they told my in-laws they would never accept my daughter into the family after we brought her home.
Imagine that. A little 7 lb 3 oz baby.....they were so threatened by the mere thought of my daughter that they would never accept her into the family? Grow up people, for God's sake.
I'm sure that the reason they said this (and held true to their word of not accepting my daughter into the family and barely acknowledging her existence) was because she took away their daughter's position of being the only granddaughter on that side of the family. Jealousy rearing it's ugly head. Sigh....
And we found out they were talking sh*t about us behind our backs for the past 2 years at least. D talked to his brother and told him all the reasons we would not be at the funeral. That we're sure she told her family just her side of the story....she probably didn't tell them the whole story- about the things she said and did to me. So her family would probably cause a scene if we showed up to the funeral. His brother said he understood and wasn't mad. He didn't even try and say that stuff wasn't true.
So my thoughts on this event......
I am sorry she died. I am sorry she had to suffer through that awful disease. I am sorry her daughter is left without a mother at such a young age. I wish I knew why she hated me so much. D and I have gone over this so many times.....trying to think of any reason why she hated me so much. I have honestly never done anything to her in the almost 21 years that I knew her to warrant her thinking so poorly of me. It is sad. The whole situation is beyond sad. I never in a million years would have thought D and I and our kids wouldn't have attended her funeral. My real SIL didn't go either. And my in-laws didn't go....my MIL is way too sick to travel and my FIL didn't want to leave her alone. So none of the immediate family was at the funeral on our side.
I posted a quick thing on FB about her passing. People ask me all the time how she is doing, so I figured I'd write a post about it to inform everyone at once. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, just kind of matter-of-fact. People were so kind and posted such sweet and supportive messages. I kind of felt like a fraud. But how do I post on FB that in reality, my SIL was a really mean person to me and in the end she told me she'd never liked me? So I just thanked everyone for the kind words and kept it short and sweet.
We tried to patch things up with her in the summer. That backfired. My in-laws tried to get everyone together this spring. They refused. We said we would go and would be nice and polite.
Sometimes I get sick of being told to forgive and forget and be the bigger person. It really didn't get us anywhere with them.
BTW, she had the same brain tumor as the girl whose story has gone viral recently who moved to a state that has dying with dignity laws. The girl in the news does not want to experience the horrific suffering that comes with this brain tumor. D's SIL was unresponsive the last week of her life. It happened suddenly, so she didn't have time to say goodbye to everyone. She suffered a lot in the end. It was a horrible way to finish out her days on this earth. I still don't think I could ever do it. I don't have the guts to do it. But I also have 4 young kids who rely on me...a lot. I would fight my hardest to spend as much time as possible with them.
OK now that I've written the end of the story....her story.....on my blog, I am putting it to rest. I am not going to talk about her anymore. I can ask myself the same question of why she hated me a million times, and I will never have the answer. I wish things had ended differently. I wish we had made up and were on good terms when she passed. I really do. But wishes don't always come true.
Monday, October 13, 2014
October Update
So much going on here! And not all of it has been good. My 7th grader who is at a new school in town this year (Ba.sis) got his 1st quarter report card recently, and he got straight A's! He has 9 different classes, one of them being Mandarin! My 4th grader got straight A's too! Still waiting to see my 1st grader's report card. I'm so proud of those kids. They work hard.
My MIL has stage 4 ovarian cancer. We recently went back East to visit with her over the kids' fall break. She is pretty weak and thin and sits in her recliner all day. Barely eats or drinks anything. She just got a hospital bed the other day. I'm glad we got to see her. Friday is our 16 year anniversary. I have known her for almost 21 years. It is so sad that she won't be around for much longer. When we were saying goodbye, she hugged me and said, "Enjoy my grandchildren."
OH. MY. GOD. Tears and tears on my end after that comment. She won't get to see her grandchildren again.
Dave's SIL (the one who is so mean and nasty to me) who has the brain tumor.....I mentioned she called me up last month and chewed me a new one. Well this past week she went into hospice. Her tumor grew and she had complications and wasn't very responsive. We won't, however, get to say goodbye to her. Dave's brother didn't even call him with the update- D's father told us. Good Lord, I am so sick of family drama.
My sweet 2-year-old dog.....she has a mass on her femur that ate away 2/3 of her bone. She is having surgery soon to clean out the mass (it might be from valley fever) and do a bone graft from her shoulder bone I think. Hopefully this will work and she won't have to have her leg amputated.
My brother is getting married in February. I'm so excited to have a new SIL. I'm also excited for them to have kids so my kids can have some cousins!
I got to see my childhood besties when we were back East, so that was nice. D got to see his childhood friends too.
Other than that, our lives are filled with baseball, soccer, tennis, homework, friends, playdates, mommy & me dance and also music class with Cambria, and time with the kids.
I haven't mentioned anything in this post about our open adoption....not too, too much to report. Things are going well. I had a photo book made for Cambria's 2nd birthday and I am going to mail it this week to her birth mom. I also want to get pictures printed to mail to her two birth grandmas.
I can't wait to celebrate 16 years with the hubster on Friday!
My MIL has stage 4 ovarian cancer. We recently went back East to visit with her over the kids' fall break. She is pretty weak and thin and sits in her recliner all day. Barely eats or drinks anything. She just got a hospital bed the other day. I'm glad we got to see her. Friday is our 16 year anniversary. I have known her for almost 21 years. It is so sad that she won't be around for much longer. When we were saying goodbye, she hugged me and said, "Enjoy my grandchildren."
OH. MY. GOD. Tears and tears on my end after that comment. She won't get to see her grandchildren again.
Dave's SIL (the one who is so mean and nasty to me) who has the brain tumor.....I mentioned she called me up last month and chewed me a new one. Well this past week she went into hospice. Her tumor grew and she had complications and wasn't very responsive. We won't, however, get to say goodbye to her. Dave's brother didn't even call him with the update- D's father told us. Good Lord, I am so sick of family drama.
My sweet 2-year-old dog.....she has a mass on her femur that ate away 2/3 of her bone. She is having surgery soon to clean out the mass (it might be from valley fever) and do a bone graft from her shoulder bone I think. Hopefully this will work and she won't have to have her leg amputated.
My brother is getting married in February. I'm so excited to have a new SIL. I'm also excited for them to have kids so my kids can have some cousins!
I got to see my childhood besties when we were back East, so that was nice. D got to see his childhood friends too.
Other than that, our lives are filled with baseball, soccer, tennis, homework, friends, playdates, mommy & me dance and also music class with Cambria, and time with the kids.
I haven't mentioned anything in this post about our open adoption....not too, too much to report. Things are going well. I had a photo book made for Cambria's 2nd birthday and I am going to mail it this week to her birth mom. I also want to get pictures printed to mail to her two birth grandmas.
I can't wait to celebrate 16 years with the hubster on Friday!
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