Birthday Picture

Here is one of the pictures from our recent birthday photo shoot for the kiddos.  (Cambria had one done in September for her 1st birthday.)  Our schedules are so crazy busy that I do one group birthday session for the boys (and do group pictures of all 4 kids too).
Here is Joshua, I can't believe he is 6!  My baby boy!

 

Worst Blogger

I am officially turning into the worst blogger.  This is only my 2nd post this month, and I only blogged twice in April.  I used to get so bummed out when my favorite bloggers started blogging less and less.  And now, I'm becoming like them.  Although, I doubt I'm anyone's favorite blogger (maybe besides my mom's!  Haha!)

What have I been up to?  Baseball!  Helping my kids with their homework and projects.  Driving my oldest two sons to guitar lessons.  Driving Jacob to his catechism class every week.  He made his First Holy Communion and Confirmation last week.  And oh did I mention baseball?  We are at the baseball fields 5 days a week (and sometimes 6 if they have a Saturday game or practice.)  It is so exhausting.  But fun and amazing to watch them play and see their progress this year.  My oldest two love to play catcher.  My oldest played an amazing game last night.  He smacked that ball out to the outfield like a champ and was a wall behind that plate.  They were winning for a while, which was exciting because they haven't won very many games this season. 

And then the game was tied, which is when I took this fun picture.



The game was tied 7-7 in the 7th inning!   That is my son Zack in the catcher's equipment.   See that runner on base?  That may or may not be his friend (sorry the picture is blurry, I took it thru the fence!) anyways,  as I was saying.....see that runner on 1st?  Yeah, he scored.  And so did a bunch more people after we got short on pitchers.  Zack couldn't go in to pitch because he caught for more than 4 innings, which is the rule,  they can't pitch if they've caught for more than 4 innings.  And they can only throw 85 pitches in a game, and then they need a 5 day rest period.  Needless to say, our really good pitcher was still on his 5-day rest period. 

But I digress....

I guess what I'm saying is I haven't been blogging much because I've been busy spending time with my kids, which is what I'm supposed to be doing.  Cambria and I went and had a playdate with her little 1 year old friends this week, and we go to mommy-and-me gymnastics, etc. etc.  And now my kids are on summer vacation- day 1 of that going on here today!  2 birthday parties yesterday and 1 today for my boys.   Plus a birthday party for Cami's little friend last weekend. 

Plus I know I say this a lot, but this school year was so challenging.  The worst one yet.  Don't get me wrong, my oldest two boys got straight A's and are in the honors program (my kindergartener doesn't get A's and B's, instead they get E's and S's, etc.)  But getting them to that point of year-long straight A's was tough.  So much stupid homework and projects that required parental assistance plus a lot of cash.  My 3rd grader's teacher sent home so much nightly homework and they had to answer questions on a class blog every week, and none of it counted towards his grade!  All that work for nothing!  Only a few big assignments and tests counted for his grade.  What a waste of time to try and get all the problems right, when we never even got them back to see if he got them right and he got no credit for it.  And some people might say that it was good practice to do all that homework and reinforcement of the concepts.  Well, was it?  Really?  He doesn't even know if he did the homework problems correctly, because they were never returned or a score entered on the Power School.  At least my 6th grader got credit for all of the nightly homework he did.

My oldest son decided he wanted to go to a new school for 7th grade.  Shocking.  He wants to go to this new school that is coming to my town in August.  It is called Ba.sis School.  You should google them.  They are absolutely amazing schools that started in Tucson, AZ (interestingly, that is where Dave and I met!).  Highly academic schools.  Challenging, and hardly ever any stupid projects!!  Lots of focus on math, which is what this country needs.  2 of my college roommates send their kids there, and they love it.  US News & World Report consistenly ranks Ba.sis in the top 10 (and lately in the top 5) of US high schools!  So my nerdy smart boy should do just fine there.  The problem is what to do for high school.  He loves baseball and wants to play on the public high school baseball team.  So if he makes the team for high school, we will send him to the public high school.  Ba.sis has some sports, but it is on a small-scale.  I guess we have a couple years to decide on that.

And lastly, the topic of our open adoption.  And how it's going.  Hmmmm.... it's going ok.  I think we are in a transition period.  Sometimes her birth mother & I talk a lot, then we go periods of weeks to a couple months without a lot of contact.  I posted a picture of her and Cami on my Insta.gram taken in the hospital on birth mother's day.  I sent her some pictures and gift cards for her and her 2 kids she is parenting.  And I haven't talked to her since, except for a quick text she sent saying she got the stuff I mailed her.  I did talk to her birth mom's mom and Cambria's birth father's mother thru FB messages) around Mother's Day too and I sent them Mother's Day cards & pictures of Cambria.  I talked to her birth mom's mom about meeting her when we go back East towards the end of the year.  We are thinking of maybe going to Florida over Christmas break and will stop in NC.  She said she would love to meet us.   That was nice!  I am also hoping to meet up with her new sister and new adoptive parents while we are out there.  I told her if she knew someone with an iPhone, that we could face time and she could see Cambria that way, and so far she hasn't done that.  Oh well, I tried.

Oh!  One more fun thing I did which has kept me from blogging was I hosted a lunch Bunco at my house a couple weeks ago, which was so fun.  There were 16 of us!!  Lots of laughs.

And I can't write this long blog post without mentioning a snippet about D's SIL!  She actually texted my husband happy birthday wishes on his birthday which was 2 days ago.  Shocker!  I wonder if D's brother hacked her phone & sent Dave the happy birthday wishes?  Haha!  LOL!  And I heard from another family member that D's SIL was still talking smack about D and me to my in-laws last month when they were out here visiting.  And my MIL who is usually very mousy and meek and timid told her knock it off and she didn't come here to hear that stuff!  Bahahahaha!!  Anyways, I could go on & on, but I won't. 

Have a fun summer everyone.  I have no idea when I will get the chance to blog again.  I did recently have my kids' pictures taken for their birthdays.....I'll have to post a few of them.  They turned out so cute.

Birth Mother's Day

Today is Birth Mother's Day.  It is the day before Mother's Day.  Which is perfectly fitting.  Without birth mothers, there wouldn't be mothers.  So they should be honored first.

I'm thinking about Cambria's birth mother J today.  I am so, so thankful and grateful that she chose us to parent her child.  I am so in love with my daughter and feel blessed every day for this gift that she gave us.   J follows me on Insta.gram, so I posted a picture of her holding and looking at Cambria in the hospital on IG.  I am usually fiercely private about her, but she said it was ok to post the picture. 
Open adoption will have its bumps along the road, but I'm glad we're on the journey.

Happy Birth Mother's Day to all the birth moms out there.  Please know that we adoptive parents love and respect you for your sacrifice you made.  You made the most selfless decision to put the needs of someone else (your child) above your own needs....you endured heartbreak to give your child the life you wanted for them with another family.   I've had 3 biological children, so I know that maternal bond and love that happens the instant you see your own flesh and blood.  It is magnetic.  I've been at the same place in the hospital as you on the day of discharge with the baby strapped in his/her carseat for the first time ready to go home and experience their first car ride....only it is at that point that we took different turns at the fork in the road.  I went home with my baby, and you went home alone and most likely devastated.  I can't imagine.  You are far stronger than I am.  Please know that we adoptive parents truly appreciate you giving us a chance to be parents and do something for us that we couldn't do for ourselves.   I wish you didn't have to go thru so much pain in the process. 

The interesting thing is, when I saw my adopted daughter for the first time, I fell madly in love with her the same way I did with my biological sons.  Instantly.  I loved her so much that I started to panic and worry every day until our adoption was finalized that the birth parents were going to decide to take her back.  I love her so much and couldn't bear the thought of losing her and not being able to see her everyday.  And yet, you carefully and thoughtfully made the decision to place her for adoption with another family even though you knew it would hurt like hell, but you did it for your child....to give them exactly the life you wanted them to have but knew you couldn't provide at that time in your life.  I am awestruck by your insight and bravery and maturity and love for your child.

Thank you.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Happy Birth Mother's Day. 

Short & sweet

Our Easter was really nice.  We went to Scottsdale for the weekend and stayed at our favorite resort and spent Saturday at the water park there and then had dinner with my parents and brother and his fiance and then Sunday did the huge egg hunt at the hotel.  Really fun!  And the weather was perfect.

2 days ago it was a bizarre weather day here in Northern AZ.  We had snow, rain, wind, hail and then the sun came out!

I had the kids' pictures taken for the boys' birthdays which are all close from January-June.  And yes of course I had pictures taken of Cambria too, because she is so darn cute and why not!  I hope to post some of those pictures when I get the CD.

We had some friends and their kiddos over last night for dinner.  Perfect ending to a Sunday night!

I'm Not Even Sure What to Title This! HA!

You guys.  I haven't blogged since March 25th! What is going on with me?!  I am becoming the worst blogger.  I was out of town last week at my annual medical conference I go to.  It was down in Scottsdale, and the weather was beautiful.  I got to sit and listen to some good lectures, and catch up with my friends and old colleagues.  Plus eat lots of good food.  Plus some shopping and massages and lunch with my bestie.  Pure bliss!

So much of what I want to talk about on here, I can't because this blog is a public blog.  Things like the ups and downs and details of having an open adoption.  Most days are great.  Some days have speedbumps. Occasionally I have these fleeting thoughts of closing the adoption a bit, maybe becoming semi-open instead of fully open.   Then a few days go by, and I'm ok with the amount of openness.   It is an interesting body of water to navigate.  That's for sure.  Right now I feel like it's an open adoption between me and her birth mother and birth grandmas and birth-aunts and the adoptive mother of her new birth sister.  And it will be that way until Cambria is older and able to talk on the phone and skype and be able to realize who she is talking to.  Which is good and bad, all at the same time.

I had bought Cambria an outfit 3 years ago.  Well, let me clarify.  I bought the baby I thought would be Cambria this darling purple outfit over 3 years ago.  Then that adoption fell apart....it fell apart bad.... 3 years ago tomorrow.  We were at the hospital in San Fran with the baby in our arms, and D and I both got this awful feeling in our stomachs that this was not the baby that was meant to be ours.  So we walked away.  It was one of the hardest things I've had to do and one of the worst days of my life.  It took me a long time to get over it and for the guilt to subside.  It wasn't until Cambria was a couple months old that I finally was able to not feel so bad about the outcome of that match.  Now I know that Cambria was meant to be our baby, and I'm glad we listened to our guts.  I hate that we hurt that birth mom's feelings, but happy we did what was right for everyone involved in the end.  OK so anyways, I had this 3-6 month adorbs purple outfit for summertime, but Cambria was that size in the winter, so she couldn't wear it.  So it hung in her closet, and I just couldn't bring myself to give it away to strangers at the Go.od Wi.ll for example because of the significance of it.   So when I laid eyes on Cambria's new birth sister, I knew exactly who it was meant for!  She looks so good in purple, and the outfit will fit her this summer.  I sent it to her, along with some other baby gifts a couple weeks ago.  That outfit is in the right place, and I'm so happy I could give it to her sister.

So tomorrow is the 3-year anniversary of our previous match falling apart. It was devastating.  Even though we were the ones who walked away.  So what am I doing tomorrow?  Why, I'm taking my 4 kiddos to get their pictures taken for a combined birthday-picture session!!  No better way to celebrate it, in my opinion!  :)   (And then we have 2 baseball games after that, of course!)

It's baseball season here until the end of May, so my posts will be scarce.

I do want to mention one more thing.  D's SIL's birthday was Saturday.  I actually texted her and wished her a happy birthday.  So did Dave.  She actually replied back to both of us but simply said, "thank you".  She didn't even use any punctuation.  Hey, at least she replied.  I texted her twice in the previous couple of weeks to see how she was doing, and she couldn't even be bothered to respond to me.  This might sound so weird, but it made me feel good to wish her a happy birthday and be the bigger person.  And now she can't say we forgot her birthday this year.  I acutally don't think she is doing well health-wise.  She did have her 9-year anniversary on her birthday of surviving a GBM (you can google it, but it's a stage 4 brain tumor with is almost always fatal within 18 months of diagnosis.  She has somehow beat the odds and has made it for 9 years).  She was recently in the hospital for blood clots in the lungs.  So once again she survived the odds and survived the PE's, which can be fatal.  She is like a cat with 9 lives.

OK that's all about her.    I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but both my older boys got straight A's for the 3rd quarter this year.....that's straight A's all year for them so far!  I'm so proud!  Joshua is too young to get letter grades still.

All 3 of my boys played catcher this week at their baseball games!  We are literally at the baseball field 5 to 6 nights a week! 

Well, that's all for now.  Happy Easter to everyone!!

Giggling

I have really made a conscious effort to not dwell on the bad behaviors of D's SIL and let her poor treatment of me and my husband and children ruin my day.  In fact, I texted her last week and said I was thinking of her and hoped she was doing well.  {GASP!  Say what?!} Well, of course she didn't reply.   I talked to my real SIL (I am referring to Dave's sister..... I no longer refer to D's SIL as my SIL) and happened to mention that I texted D's SIL and never heard back.  She told me that she heard from her, and she said her phone was broken & just got it fixed.   So of course everyone wants to give D's SIL the benefit of the doubt.  I said I'm sure she got my text, because the very next morning she texted my real SIL and told her about her phone being broken and finally got it fixed.  I decided to give her one more chance, and I texted her today and told her I had texted her last week, and how D's sister told me her phone was broken and I was wondering how she was doing.  And oh, BTW did they get the invitation to my son's birthday party which is this Saturday?

No reply.  Of course.  D's SIL is attached to her cell phone just like I am....kind of a lifeline.  She is just proving that she is purposely avoiding me- even when I am being nice and thoughtful.  And I know that her phone is now fixed, because she texted my SIL from it last week.

So if I ever talk to her or D's brother again, and they start this crap about how D's SIL feels like we have forgotten her, I will not hold back.  I will tell her how we have made efforts to text her and even see her, and she avoids us like the plague now.  So she doesn't get to have it both ways.

They have ignored my kids for so long now, that my son hasn't even bother to ask if his aunt and uncle are coming to his birthday party.  I don't think he even cares, because they have been such a non-presence in his life for so long.  Sad.  So sad.

But instead of me getting all worked up and pissed off and hurt about D's SIL ignoring me, I find myself giggling at her immaturity.  What the heck must be going thru her head that she thinks it's OK to treat people like this and then whine that we have forgotten her?!

Yep, I'm giggling.  What a funny show she is putting on for everyone to see.  Sad show, but funny.  Especially since this time last year she was turning 50 and giving me grief because we missed her 50th birthday party.  I'm giggling because she needs to grow up.

Oh well, I have better things to do like get ready for my son's birthday bash on Saturday.  A Minecraft party, of course! 

Spring Forward

This is a little something funny for my East coast and midwest friends, who keep getting hammered with snow this winter (and spring!).  This doesn't really apply to me because I live in beautiful AZ.




I love how the bird is wearing a North Face jacket and has a Sbux cup in its hand!