November

Oops I just noticed I skipped October's post!  And I have some interesting updates!  We had my daughter's 4th birthday party last month (it was several weeks after her birthday due to fall break and other scheduling conflicts).  Her preschool friends from her new preschool came and it was so fun - she had a blast.  D's brother also came to the party!  I was shocked, but it was nice.  We got along fine and all's well that ends well.  I'm glad he was there to share in our family celebrations with my kids after all this time.  I felt like I could finally exhale about the family drama after the party.  Fresh start. My friend T who moved to CO and her kids were in town and came to the party too!  So that was fun.  Cami loves my friend's daughter!

I can't believe tomorrow is Thanksgiving!  How did that happen already?!
We are having dinner here with my parents, brother, SIL and 10 month old nephew.  Our 1st Thanksgiving in our new house.

We celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary last month in Vegas and our 23 year dating anniversary yesterday!  We sure have had some bad crap flung at us over the past 23 years, but we have always managed to come out on top...together.

I have been busy hanging out with my old friends that live here and also hanging out with some new friends!  The kids are doing well in their new schools (their new schools are all really challenging.....I guess we're getting our money's worth?!)  and making nice new friends.  We are busy all the time, which is good AND bad.  I need to get back to the gym- going out to eat too much at all the yummy restaurants here!  lol

I took my Golden Retriever for her 6 month chest X-ray to see if he cancer has come back yet (it usually metastasizes to the lungs) and it looks clear!  Hooray!  I love that dog so much.

On the adoption front.... this Friday, I will get to meet in real life one of my adoption FB friends!  We were signed up at the same agency and she is in AZ this week visiting.   Her 2 sons are similar ages as my two youngest kids.  Cami's birth mom is pregnant again and due in January with another girl (that's 4/5 babies that are girls!).  Her plan is to parent this baby with her boyfriend/fiance.  I can't wait to see the baby- I'm sure she will be absolutely beautiful. People tell me all the time that my daughter is beautiful.  She is stunning.  I hope to get to meet Cami's new baby sister sometime soon.  Hopefully next year, as this year is almost over.   I just mailed Cami's brother's birthday gifts today.  I hope he likes everything.

Oh well I better go finish cleaning the house for the Turkey day feast tomorrow!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.  May you be surrounded by love and laughter and cupcakes.... definitely cupcakes!  (Some things never change!)  Actually, I don't have any cupcakes at my house currently!  What?!  And don't forget to always count your blessings.

4

My baby is 4!   How can she be 4 already?  We had a glorious time celebrating her birthday last week!  We had a family party with dinner and cake, she took treats to preschool, she talked to her birth mom and older birth sister on the phone (so sweet!), her birth mom wrote this heartfelt and loving post on Facebook, my mom and I took her to the American Girl store this weekend and she got her first doll(s) and some accessories, and we had a delicious lunch and birthday cake at the bistro at the store!  SO. MUCH. FUN!!   Her birth sister sent her a birthday present too...oh my goodness how sweet.   She will have a party with her preschool friends in a few weeks.  The theme for the family party was Barbie, and the theme for the preschool party will be My Little Pony.  It should be fun...if the weather cooperates!   The place is outdoors with lots of fun stuff to do.  So many of her birth relatives including both birth grandmas, birth great-aunt, aunt, and her little sister and her adoptive mom who I lovingly refer to as my sister momma, since the girls are sisters!,  ;)   wished her a happy birthday on Facebook and told her they loved her.  Her birth father wished her a happy birthday, too.  I couldn't ask for anything more. Her step great-grandma told her she loved her and wished she could have met her and enjoys watching her grow up on Facebook.  And so did her step-great-grandma's daughter.  Which makes that nice woman her grandma's step-sister.  Bring on the water works.   That warmed my heart so much.  So blessed for our open adoption.

Did I mention she got one of her American Girl doll's ears pierced?!  For reals.  We bought earrings FOR. THE. DOLL, y'all.
I can't even.
They even said not to take the earrings out for 24 hours, or the holes will close.  Just like a human's!

Saturday she had her first dance class at her new dance studio.  It is a combo tap/ballet/tumbling dance class.   She loves her new tap shoes!  She loved the class, and knew a couple girls in her class from this summer preschool program she did here in our new city.  The teacher was great.  Sweet, fun and peppy.   2 of the things I miss most about my old town besides my friends are her dance studio and my hairdresser!  This dance studio is really good and the people seem nice.  I heard they do well at dance competitions too (when she is older we will explore dance competitions!  lol)
I have an appt. with my new hairdresser tomorrow.  

I can't wait to see what this year of being 4 brings for my amazing daughter.

Last Day of 3

Today is my daughter's last day of being 3 years old!  My baby girl, the baby of the family, is turning 4 tomorrow!  I. Can't. Even.
It really does seem like just yesterday when my oldest son, who is now 14, turned 4.  Which means I'm a whole lot older, too!  Yikes.

I'll write more after her big day.  But it is a multi-day celebration between family parties and preschool parties and a trip to the American Girl store!  And of course the annual birthday photo session.  The family party theme is Barbie, and the preschool party theme is My Little Pony.  It's so fun having a daughter, I tell ya!   I love, love, love having a daughter.

My daughter is so smart, and speaks so well that sometimes it's hard to believe she is actually still 3.
Sweet dreams, my sweet cherub.

How Much Blog is Left?

One of my favorite blogs, which was also one of the first blogs I ever read, is done today.  The author is done blogging.  It's an adoption blog.  I am sad.  The last blog post made me teary too!  Fortunately, I am FB friends with her, so I still get to follow her if you will and keep in touch that way.

This blog is fading away too.  I'm lucky if I get one post a month done.  I can't seem to upload pictures to this blog.  :(
The nitty gritty things I really want to talk about shouldn't be discussed on a public blog.  Nothing really major- just things like the inner-workings of the open adoption relationship with C's birth mom, and the ridiculous drama with the in-laws,  and who I think wins the narcissist of the week award.  Lol did I mention my husband and my children weren't even invited to one of his family member's wedding recently?  See-  stuff like that I probably should not blog about.  If they read this, even though it's brutally honest and true, they will still get mad at me for having the audacity to say it.  Besides, not too many people even care about that stuff- even my kids don't care!   For so long I spent so much time and energy worrying about how to get the in-laws to be involved in my kids' lives and I felt so bad for my kids that their only "cousin" was blatantly ignoring them and refused to acknowledge my daughter's existence in the family and even in the world.  Well, it turns out that my kids are doing just fine!  They aren't even butt-hurt the way I am about these people having nothing to do with them in years.   To them, it is a non-issue.   Their egos aren't bruised, their feelings aren't hurt.  They don't stay up late at night wondering what the hell they ever did to have people that were supposed to be family basically eject them from the family.  My daughter has no idea that any of this crap has even occurred, proving that she is doing quite well without them in her life.   She doesn't even know who they are.  My 8 year old  said, "Who is that again?" when his "cousin's" name was mentioned.   He doesn't even remember her.  That makes me sad.  I want my kids to have these relationships and it looks like it will never happen. I need to let it go.  Nobody even cares but me.  Even my husband doesn't care... and they are his family!  lol!   I've tried.
The writing is on the walls.....screaming at me to give it up!   So I will.  But I'm giving myself an "E" for effort in trying to make everyone have a relationship.  

I don't know if I will ever blog again either....but one thing's for sure....this was my last update on the drama and yucky details of the fractured relationship with the in-laws.  Assume they will never come around and try and fix things, which is sad, but a fact of life.  It is what it is, even though that's a hard pill to swallow.  :(

On a better note, my nephew, who for all intents and purposes is my kids' only cousin, is 7 months old!  And oh my goodness is he a cutie!  He is so darling!   C sees pictures of him and always smiles and says, "That's my baby cousin!!"   She is so excited to see pictures of him!  It is so cute to see the love she has for him!  My boys like him too.  He is such a sweet, happy baby!  I wish they lived closer so we could see him more.  I hope they have more cousins soon!!  ;)

We have moved and are still drowning in boxes trying to get everything unpacked.  We are moving full steam ahead with life.  New schools, new house, new city, closer to my parents (YAY!), new travel baseball teams, new doctors, dentists, orthodontist, new hair salons, new pool for swimming lessons, new gymnastics place, and the list goes on and on.  The only thing not new is my friends down here- many of whom I've been friends with for 20-30 years!  And this God-awful heat.  I'm not used to the heat anymore.  But it should cool down next month.

And about the adoption.... because my first blog was originally started as an adoption blog and this has evolved into a family blog (which has included talk of the ugly side of family relationships too because that is a fact of life)........... I've decided in our new town to not immediately tell people she's adopted and tell her adoption story right off the bat.  At some point, that's her story to tell.  The details are hers to share.   So I will leave you with this:  Her birth mom is pregnant again with a baby girl (4 out of her 5 children are girls!).  At this point, it looks like she will be parenting this baby with the baby's father.  I'm happy and hopeful and optimistic that this is finally her fresh start, her chance to start over, her chance to be a mommy in the day-to-day sense of the word.  I can't even imagine how hard that would be to place not just one, but two babies for adoption.   And the thought of placing 3?  My heart is aching for her and what pain she has gone through.   Hopefully this will be her happily ever after.  I am rooting for her birth mom.
Even if she places this baby for adoption, we will not be adopting the baby.  As much as I'd love to have another daughter and a sister for C, our family is complete.

My kids are doing well in their new schools.  I have to give them a lot of credit.  This was a big change, a big move and they are handling it with grace and they are so brave.  We are busy.  I don't have a lot of free time in between the kids and their schools and activities and home projects on this house- new to us, but really an old house.  We closed on our previous house last week and I only had a 2 second twinge in my stomach when my husband told me it was official.  God, I hope we made the right decision for all of us.  I hope we didn't uproot my kids for nothing.  I hope they don't resent us for taking them away from the only town they knew basically, with all the comforts of a small town.....and taking them back to the big city with lots and lots of things to do, endless opportunities, schools that will provide them with amazing educations (for the price tags, they better!  HA!), and family nearby.   They are loving the pool with the diving board in the back yard.  As soon as it gets cooler during the day they can play basketball, go on the in-ground trampoline and play on the jungle gym.  So much to do....do little time to squeeze it all in!  ;)

And as for this blog....I think it too is dwindling down.  I think anyone that cares about my life and my family already follows me on IG or is FB friends with me.   Of course I never discuss details about the adoption or the family drama on there, but I can manage to post pictures!  Haha!  ;)

My baby girl will turn 4 next month.  I cannot believe it!  4 already!  I miss her being a little baby.  She was the best baby.  She is so smart, it blows me away sometimes!  And her memory is amazing.  My mom and I are going to take her to the American Girl store for her birthday and get a doll and have lunch.  She is so excited!  (Cami is so excited, not my mom!  Haha!  But I'm sure grandma is excited too!)  ;)

We are still, as always, talking about taking a trip to NC to see Cambria's birth family and the hospital she was born at.  D wanted to wait until she was around 5 so she would understand it better.  So next summer/ fall I think we will go.  I will probably write one more post after that visit and then tie things all together all neatly with a bow and that will be the end of this blog.  

Happy Labor Day, everyone!

What Happened to July?

Is it just me, or did July fly by in a whirl?!  My mom reminded me tonight that I skipped a July post.  Oops!  But I have a good excuse!  We moved.  To a different city!  I've been so inundated with unpacking this house and entertaining the kids everyday (it's summer break!) that I don't have much time for anything else.  I remember when I was a kid, we never stayed home all day and expected our parents to provide daily entertainment.  We were outside playing and running around with our friends in the neighborhood, getting around on our bikes, and we came home when the street lights came on.  It's not like that anymore, at least not where I live.  I remember playing kickball games in the cul-de-sac of our street with all the kids in the neighborhood.  It was so much fun!

My son started high school today.  Cray cray how fast these past 14 years have gone.  Which means that I am also 14 years older.  Not so fun.  I hope he has a great year.  All my kids are at new schools this year.  I hope and pray that they have smooth transitions, great teachers and make new friends.

As of now, Cambria is slated to have a new baby....sister!  Her birth mom said they told her they thought it was a girl, but the images were somewhat blurry.   She is going to have another ultrasound soon.  Cami was excited when I told her.  I can't believe my baby girl is going to be 4 next month!  I miss the baby stage.  She was the best baby.

Happy August, everybody!

Oh Baby!

Cambria is going to be a big sister...again.  Yes, her birth mom is pregnant again.  I told my daughter that "J" has another baby in her tummy.  She seemed excited.  Of course, she is only 3 and doesn't really understand what all that means.  She knows that she grew in J's tummy and then J placed her with us to be her mommy and daddy forever and ever.   I wonder if this baby is a boy or a girl?  It's still too early to tell.  She has had 3 girls and 1 boy so far.

At first, her birth mom said she was considering adoption again (this would be adoption number three) if some circumstances in her life didn't change.   Then she messaged me last week and said she has decided to keep the baby.  Even if she were making an adoption plan, our family is not looking to grow our family anymore.  Our family is complete.  As much as I would love to adopt Cambria's sister, that stage of our lives is over.  In addition, I honestly feel that babies should stay with their (birth) parents whenever possible.  Despite the fact that I adopted my daughter, I really do believe in family preservation whenever possible and when it's in the best interest of the baby.  So here's the hard part:  if she parents this new baby, what do I tell my daughter when she asks why she and her younger sister were "given away" (I hate that phrase) but her birth mom kept this new baby?   Oy life sure is complicated!  Fortunately, my daughter already is self-confident and hopefully she will understand the reasons such as her birth mom was not in a place to give Cambria the life she wanted for her at the time of her birth.  Anyways, I have been chatting more with Cambria's oldest birth aunt recently that I haven't talked to much,  so that's nice.  She seems really cool and we love the same restaurant!  :)

The kids are out of school on summer break.  Well, my oldest who is starting high school in August (for reals!  How is that possible?!)  got invited to do a summer honors program this summer.  So he's technically still in school!  Plus he's doing the summer freshmen baseball program at the school.  Hey, less time for video games so I'm good with summer school!  ;)
Speaking of my oldest son...he turns 14 soon.  Already!  14 years ago today I was pregnant and had toxemia and was bigger than a whale and it was June in Phoenix so it was hotter than snot!  And I was on bed rest.    Gosh I can't believe it's been 14 years.   4 more years and he will be off to college all on his own!  Who will be there to bug him to do his homework and study and pick up his dirty clothes off the floor and throw his food wrappers in the trash?!   Teenage boys- ugh!  Haha!

Happy summer everyone!

School's Out For Summa !!

It's May 29th.  I almost missed my May post!  Haha I have become a terrible blogger.  Turns out life with 4 busy kids and 2 dogs plus a hubby doesn't leave me much time to blog.  I haven't had too much more to write about that I already haven't talked about.  My boys are busy playing baseball.  My daughter's dance recital is coming up soon!  The nitty gritty details of my daughter's adoption and relationship with her birth family are really hers and theirs to tell.  Her birth mom did message me the other day and asked me to call her- said she had some news to tell me.  I gotta admit I immediately thought pregnancy, or worse.  I messaged her back and asked when was a good time to call and told her that statement usually makes me think someone is pregnant!  And she hasn't responded back yet!  I hope she isn't having any health issues.  We are trying to plan a trip out there to visit them and I also want to take her by the hospital so she can see where she was born.  The hard part is finding time to go.

My house is on the market.  So a lot of people are asking me where I'm moving to.  Another part of town?  Another city?  So much going on here, but it's all for the best intentions for my kids and their education.

Speaking of my kids, they just finished another year of school.  It was a really hard and challenging year and my two youngest were at a new school.  They all did amazing academically and met some nice new friends.   There wasn't an 8th grade promotion ceremony or dance.  I saw a million pictures on Face.book of my friend's kids at different schools getting to enjoy huge productions for 8th grade graduation ceremonies and 8th grade dances.  I'm bummed for my 8th grader not getting to experience anything like that.  Oh sure he got to be recognized at an awards ceremony for his GPA and top 15% of his class (just like every other grade at the school).   On the good side, they learned SO MUCH academically at their new school.  Holy cow can you say advanced curriculum?!  The math skills my 2nd grader learned this year are impressive.  As with anything in life, there's good and bad.  The trick is choosing the thing with the best ratio of positives and negatives.  Next year I will have a child in all different stages of school...preschool, elementary, middle and high school!

Oh and for anyone who has been following the saga with the in-laws..... I have some closure on that subject and am done with it.  YAY!  It has been so liberating.  I finally conversed with the husband of the one who had some mis-guided anger, hostility, dislike  and who also rejected my daughter from the family.    All I will say is I said my peace  in the nicest way possible and maybe, just maybe, some of it will seep in and his rational side will get it finally.  Anyways, I was the bigger person which I am proud of.  I am giving him a chance to prove he wants to have a relationship with my kids.

So here we are at another summer vacation.  Seemingly endless days to fill up with fun and adventures.  It's hard to believe it's Memorial Day weekend and summer vacation- the  weather hasn't been the best.  The public high school graduation was outdoors last night, and a lot of people were wearing coats in the audience!

Wishing everyone a safe and wonderful weekend with their friends and families.  And let's remember and honor who this weekend is really about.  :)