One of my favorite blogs, which was also one of the first blogs I ever read, is done today. The author is done blogging. It's an adoption blog. I am sad. The last blog post made me teary too! Fortunately, I am FB friends with her, so I still get to follow her if you will and keep in touch that way.
This blog is fading away too. I'm lucky if I get one post a month done. I can't seem to upload pictures to this blog. :(
The nitty gritty things I really want to talk about shouldn't be discussed on a public blog. Nothing really major- just things like the inner-workings of the open adoption relationship with C's birth mom, and the ridiculous drama with the in-laws, and who I think wins the narcissist of the week award. Lol did I mention my husband and my children weren't even invited to one of his family member's wedding recently? See- stuff like that I probably should not blog about. If they read this, even though it's brutally honest and true, they will still get mad at me for having the audacity to say it. Besides, not too many people even care about that stuff- even my kids don't care! For so long I spent so much time and energy worrying about how to get the in-laws to be involved in my kids' lives and I felt so bad for my kids that their only "cousin" was blatantly ignoring them and refused to acknowledge my daughter's existence in the family and even in the world. Well, it turns out that my kids are doing just fine! They aren't even butt-hurt the way I am about these people having nothing to do with them in years. To them, it is a non-issue. Their egos aren't bruised, their feelings aren't hurt. They don't stay up late at night wondering what the hell they ever did to have people that were supposed to be family basically eject them from the family. My daughter has no idea that any of this crap has even occurred, proving that she is doing quite well without them in her life. She doesn't even know who they are. My 8 year old said, "Who is that again?" when his "cousin's" name was mentioned. He doesn't even remember her. That makes me sad. I want my kids to have these relationships and it looks like it will never happen. I need to let it go. Nobody even cares but me. Even my husband doesn't care... and they are his family! lol! I've tried.
The writing is on the walls.....screaming at me to give it up! So I will. But I'm giving myself an "E" for effort in trying to make everyone have a relationship.
I don't know if I will ever blog again either....but one thing's for sure....this was my last update on the drama and yucky details of the fractured relationship with the in-laws. Assume they will never come around and try and fix things, which is sad, but a fact of life. It is what it is, even though that's a hard pill to swallow. :(
On a better note, my nephew, who for all intents and purposes is my kids' only cousin, is 7 months old! And oh my goodness is he a cutie! He is so darling! C sees pictures of him and always smiles and says, "That's my baby cousin!!" She is so excited to see pictures of him! It is so cute to see the love she has for him! My boys like him too. He is such a sweet, happy baby! I wish they lived closer so we could see him more. I hope they have more cousins soon!! ;)
We have moved and are still drowning in boxes trying to get everything unpacked. We are moving full steam ahead with life. New schools, new house, new city, closer to my parents (YAY!), new travel baseball teams, new doctors, dentists, orthodontist, new hair salons, new pool for swimming lessons, new gymnastics place, and the list goes on and on. The only thing not new is my friends down here- many of whom I've been friends with for 20-30 years! And this God-awful heat. I'm not used to the heat anymore. But it should cool down next month.
And about the adoption.... because my first blog was originally started as an adoption blog and this has evolved into a family blog (which has included talk of the ugly side of family relationships too because that is a fact of life)........... I've decided in our new town to not immediately tell people she's adopted and tell her adoption story right off the bat. At some point, that's her story to tell. The details are hers to share. So I will leave you with this: Her birth mom is pregnant again with a baby girl (4 out of her 5 children are girls!). At this point, it looks like she will be parenting this baby with the baby's father. I'm happy and hopeful and optimistic that this is finally her fresh start, her chance to start over, her chance to be a mommy in the day-to-day sense of the word. I can't even imagine how hard that would be to place not just one, but two babies for adoption. And the thought of placing 3? My heart is aching for her and what pain she has gone through. Hopefully this will be her happily ever after. I am rooting for her birth mom.
Even if she places this baby for adoption, we will not be adopting the baby. As much as I'd love to have another daughter and a sister for C, our family is complete.
My kids are doing well in their new schools. I have to give them a lot of credit. This was a big change, a big move and they are handling it with grace and they are so brave. We are busy. I don't have a lot of free time in between the kids and their schools and activities and home projects on this house- new to us, but really an old house. We closed on our previous house last week and I only had a 2 second twinge in my stomach when my husband told me it was official. God, I hope we made the right decision for all of us. I hope we didn't uproot my kids for nothing. I hope they don't resent us for taking them away from the only town they knew basically, with all the comforts of a small town.....and taking them back to the big city with lots and lots of things to do, endless opportunities, schools that will provide them with amazing educations (for the price tags, they better! HA!), and family nearby. They are loving the pool with the diving board in the back yard. As soon as it gets cooler during the day they can play basketball, go on the in-ground trampoline and play on the jungle gym. So much to do....do little time to squeeze it all in! ;)
And as for this blog....I think it too is dwindling down. I think anyone that cares about my life and my family already follows me on IG or is FB friends with me. Of course I never discuss details about the adoption or the family drama on there, but I can manage to post pictures! Haha! ;)
My baby girl will turn 4 next month. I cannot believe it! 4 already! I miss her being a little baby. She was the best baby. She is so smart, it blows me away sometimes! And her memory is amazing. My mom and I are going to take her to the American Girl store for her birthday and get a doll and have lunch. She is so excited! (Cami is so excited, not my mom! Haha! But I'm sure grandma is excited too!) ;)
We are still, as always, talking about taking a trip to NC to see Cambria's birth family and the hospital she was born at. D wanted to wait until she was around 5 so she would understand it better. So next summer/ fall I think we will go. I will probably write one more post after that visit and then tie things all together all neatly with a bow and that will be the end of this blog.
Happy Labor Day, everyone!
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