Cambria turned 3 this week. How on earth did that happen already?! I can't believe she was placed in our arms 3 years ago! 3 years ago today, her birth mother signed her relinquishment/ TPR paperwork, and 3 years ago tomorrow we took our baby girl home from the hospital! Such an amazing time in our lives. I love looking back on that time with fondness for her birth mother. I watched her sign the paperwork (I asked her if she wanted us to step outside the room in the hallway, and she said no.) Talk about strength and determination on her part. I don't know if I could have done that. We texted each other and shared FB posts on her birthday. Things are going well with our open adoption. Cambria's paternal birth grandma posted a really nice thing on my FB wall too. I'm so glad she is supportive of the adoption.
We had a little party for her during the day with her little friends while the older siblings were at school. Then we went to Phoenix to celebrate with my parents and family friends at Chuck E. Cheese. Fun times! Then she took in cupcakes to preschool the next day to celebrate her special day at preschool. She received lots of lipgloss and nail polish for her birthday....2 of her favorite things!! :)
My 2 younger boys got their report cards today at their new school. They like it and are doing well. WHEW! Thank goodness! It is a lot tougher than their old school, and both of them did not get the best teaching last year....it was mostly a joke year for both of them last year, unfortunately. So we were nervous to move them to this new school that has a rigorous curriculum on the heels of their pitiful school years last year. However, everything has worked out! YAY!
Zack is in 8th grade, which they consider the upper school at his school. He is taking crazy hard classes like AP World History, Economics, Algebra 2, Mandarin, English, Biology, Chemistry, Biology, etc. Overall he is doing well. This school year is a lot harder than last year. He also wanted to play a lot of video games at the beginning of this year. I'm not sure if he was in denial that summer was over and it was time to put his nose back in the books?! He has gotten back on track though, and is doing well. He has also cut back on the video games. WHEW! Plus he is the starting catcher for the 8th grade baseball team (pre-team for the frosh team). He is the 3rd shortest kid on the team and one of the youngest, and he is managing to hold his own. His coaches are good, and they play the kids on ability, not on favoritism, and there is no daddy ball. Baseball takes a good chunk of his time, but it is good exercise, builds teamwork skills and friendships, and keeps him off of the video games and his phone!
I think I talk mostly about my kids and adoption on here. This is a hard school year for me.... I feel like I am 20 steps behind a lot of days. However, my kiddos won't be little forever. In the blink of an eye, they will be older and more self-sufficient and the house will be quiet and I won't be driving them around town for hours after school to their activities. This is what I am supposed to be doing now. It will be so worth it for my kiddos in the end (I think!) to have me around and available all the time for them. Since my kids are at a new school, I feel a bit cut off from my friends that I always saw at their old school. I have been trying to make an effort to get together with my friends for lunches or birthday celebrations.
That's all for now. Good night.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Saturday, August 29, 2015
August Already!
It's been a month since I last posted! I've been so utterly busy with life this past month! The boys are all in the same school this year...the same school Zack went to last year. It is a rigorous curriculum. Holy cow! But they are all doing great. They are learning SO MUCH. Much more than the 2 little boys learned in public school last year. Unbelievable! It is such good food for their brains! They never say they are bored at school anymore. The 8th grade year is notoriously hard at this school. My 8th grader is taking an AP World History class! This is usually an 11th grade class in high school! He got straight A's all last year at this school, and even he said this year is much harder than last year already. In addition, he is taking Algebra 2/Geometry, Economics, Mandarin, English, P.E., Biology, Chemistry & Physics. Can you imagine?! That in addition to his fall travel baseball team 2 nights a week and on the weekends and his church middle school youth group meetings on Monday evenings and his weekly batting lessons with his batting coach and his Saturday guitar lessons. I am tired just typing this out! (Plus I am usually the one driving him to all of these activities!)
My daughter turns 3 next month. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy to see what new milestones are in store for her as a 3 year old, excited for her birthday party next month~ she requested a Frozen themed party, of course! I am sad that this amazing little girl is getting so big already. I loved the baby stage with her. She was the best baby and so sweet and always smiling. Now she has found her voice and her opinion, and is a typical 2 year old who likes to tell me no! lol!! She recently said to me, "Hold on!" And then she giggled and said to me, "I said hold on! Hee hee!" She is almost 3 going on 13! I've recently overheard her saying, "I want my mommy!" I love that she loves me, and I love that she wants me by her side. I love that she feels comfortable here and knows that I will meet all of her needs. There is an adoption book that the adoption haters like to bring up called The Primal Wound. I've read it. The book says that taking a newborn baby away from it's birth mother (for adoption purposes) causes this primal wound in them and that they know from that day on that they were separated from their birth mother and that is traumatic for them. From our own adoption experience, I do not believe this. I do not believe my daughter has suffered any kind of primal wound. I don't think she realizes that she has been separated from her birth mother, and I don't think she realizes I am not her "real mother" and did not give birth to her. I do think she knows I have been there for her taking care of her as long as she can remember (from 3 days old in her case), and that I love her unconditionally and she feels safe and secure in our house. Today she found her scrapbook from when she was a baby and was looking at baby pictures of herself. You should have seen her....she thoroughly enjoyed looking at these baby pictures of herself. And she looked at the pictures of each of my sons holding her as a baby, and she pointed out who was in each of the pictures with her. So cute! I have read countless adoption blogs and articles and watched countless TV shows with adoptees and I've seen how some of them have said that they always felt that they didn't fit in with their adoptive family, and felt this primal wound and sense of abandonment. I can honestly say that from watching my daughter and how she interacts with our family, she does not feel any different or like an outsider or like she doesn't fit in or belong here in our family. She seems so comfortable and secure here with our family. I do not feel like she is suffering from a primal wound due to her adoption. Will she as she gets older? Only time will tell. We shall see. I believe that when she is old enough to learn about her adoption in depth, she will realize we are not adopt-o-raptors (adoption haters like to call adoptive parents this name....like we swoop in and snatch the newborn out of their birth mom's arms! HA! As if.) And I believe she will realize she wasn't abandoned by her birth parents. Neither one of them wanted to place her for adoption, they were mature enough to know that they were not in a position at the time to raise her in the manner they wanted. And they both want to have some type of relationship with her when she is older.
One other point...and I may have talked about this in years past. Adoption haters hate when adoptive parents adopt newborns. They feel the newborns are better off with their birth parents, no matter what (which is a ridiculous stance.....babies are not better off with birth parents who are making bad choices in life and cannot support the children and cannot raise them in a safe environment.) But anyways, I've seen many of the adoption haters comment that adoptive parents should only adopt from foster care. Now, I think in some of these cases if the birth parents tried to parent for a while, they would not be able to do so in a safe manner and the children would be removed from their custody and placed in foster care. So some of these babies placed for adoption at 2-3 days old in the hospital would have ended up in foster care down the road anyways. A lot of those kids in foster care have endured so much hell that no child should ever be exposed to, and they have learned coping mechanisms and develop RAD and they subsequently have a hard time bonding with anyone. I think that would be avoided a majority of the time if they had gone home with the AP's from the hospital right from the beginning, and started the bonding process right away. Can you imagine being a child in foster care and being bounced from foster home to foster home? How scary. My kids cried when they went to preschool at 3 years old, and that was only for a few hours a few days a week! Can you imagine being 3 and living in different foster homes with different foster families? My heart breaks for these kids at the thought of this. However, I am not in favor of adoptive parents trying to adopt babies from birth parents who are able to parent and really want to parent. I am definitely in favor of biological parents raising their babies whenever they can.
We still haven't made it back east for a visit with her birth family yet. I thought we would have been back there by now! Maybe in the next couple of years.
Goodnight & hopefully I'll remember to blog in September! (After her 3rd birthday!)
My daughter turns 3 next month. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy to see what new milestones are in store for her as a 3 year old, excited for her birthday party next month~ she requested a Frozen themed party, of course! I am sad that this amazing little girl is getting so big already. I loved the baby stage with her. She was the best baby and so sweet and always smiling. Now she has found her voice and her opinion, and is a typical 2 year old who likes to tell me no! lol!! She recently said to me, "Hold on!" And then she giggled and said to me, "I said hold on! Hee hee!" She is almost 3 going on 13! I've recently overheard her saying, "I want my mommy!" I love that she loves me, and I love that she wants me by her side. I love that she feels comfortable here and knows that I will meet all of her needs. There is an adoption book that the adoption haters like to bring up called The Primal Wound. I've read it. The book says that taking a newborn baby away from it's birth mother (for adoption purposes) causes this primal wound in them and that they know from that day on that they were separated from their birth mother and that is traumatic for them. From our own adoption experience, I do not believe this. I do not believe my daughter has suffered any kind of primal wound. I don't think she realizes that she has been separated from her birth mother, and I don't think she realizes I am not her "real mother" and did not give birth to her. I do think she knows I have been there for her taking care of her as long as she can remember (from 3 days old in her case), and that I love her unconditionally and she feels safe and secure in our house. Today she found her scrapbook from when she was a baby and was looking at baby pictures of herself. You should have seen her....she thoroughly enjoyed looking at these baby pictures of herself. And she looked at the pictures of each of my sons holding her as a baby, and she pointed out who was in each of the pictures with her. So cute! I have read countless adoption blogs and articles and watched countless TV shows with adoptees and I've seen how some of them have said that they always felt that they didn't fit in with their adoptive family, and felt this primal wound and sense of abandonment. I can honestly say that from watching my daughter and how she interacts with our family, she does not feel any different or like an outsider or like she doesn't fit in or belong here in our family. She seems so comfortable and secure here with our family. I do not feel like she is suffering from a primal wound due to her adoption. Will she as she gets older? Only time will tell. We shall see. I believe that when she is old enough to learn about her adoption in depth, she will realize we are not adopt-o-raptors (adoption haters like to call adoptive parents this name....like we swoop in and snatch the newborn out of their birth mom's arms! HA! As if.) And I believe she will realize she wasn't abandoned by her birth parents. Neither one of them wanted to place her for adoption, they were mature enough to know that they were not in a position at the time to raise her in the manner they wanted. And they both want to have some type of relationship with her when she is older.
One other point...and I may have talked about this in years past. Adoption haters hate when adoptive parents adopt newborns. They feel the newborns are better off with their birth parents, no matter what (which is a ridiculous stance.....babies are not better off with birth parents who are making bad choices in life and cannot support the children and cannot raise them in a safe environment.) But anyways, I've seen many of the adoption haters comment that adoptive parents should only adopt from foster care. Now, I think in some of these cases if the birth parents tried to parent for a while, they would not be able to do so in a safe manner and the children would be removed from their custody and placed in foster care. So some of these babies placed for adoption at 2-3 days old in the hospital would have ended up in foster care down the road anyways. A lot of those kids in foster care have endured so much hell that no child should ever be exposed to, and they have learned coping mechanisms and develop RAD and they subsequently have a hard time bonding with anyone. I think that would be avoided a majority of the time if they had gone home with the AP's from the hospital right from the beginning, and started the bonding process right away. Can you imagine being a child in foster care and being bounced from foster home to foster home? How scary. My kids cried when they went to preschool at 3 years old, and that was only for a few hours a few days a week! Can you imagine being 3 and living in different foster homes with different foster families? My heart breaks for these kids at the thought of this. However, I am not in favor of adoptive parents trying to adopt babies from birth parents who are able to parent and really want to parent. I am definitely in favor of biological parents raising their babies whenever they can.
We still haven't made it back east for a visit with her birth family yet. I thought we would have been back there by now! Maybe in the next couple of years.
Goodnight & hopefully I'll remember to blog in September! (After her 3rd birthday!)
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Reflections
I haven't even thought about writing on my blog until today, since the last time I posted which was a month ago! Now that we have settled into our "post-adoption" life (basically just life at this point!), I don't really feel the need to blog about much. I started my other blog as an adoption blog while we were waiting to be matched, "pregnant on paper" if you will......I know a lot of people dislike that term. That is a really hard time.....the waiting period is tough. Because in adoption you never really know if you will end up adopting a baby. Heck, even if adoption is not on the table, nobody can be guaranteed to have a baby. There are a lot of bumps along the way in adoption. The mad paper rush to get all those papers filled out and the home study and visit from the social worker and writing the Dear Birth Parent letter and making the profile book that is presented to expectant moms and the money....there always seem to be more costs that creep into the equation than initially expected, and then you finally get the certification to adopt from the judge, and then you wait. You wait for your phone to ring. You wait for "the call" that you hear about so much from other hopeful adoptive parents. That waiting period is enough to make you crazy...if you let it! Thankfully, I made a lot of other hopeful adoptive moms along the way and we gave each other support and advice. It would have been a much harder process (harder than it already was) without my adoption friends.
I just talked to one of my favorite hopeful adoptive mom friends yesterday. We used to talk several times a week for a couple years during the waiting process. She lives somewhat near me (1.5 hours away). It's so weird not to have adoption on the brain 24/7 anymore. Now that my daughter will be 3 in two months, we have been out of the active adoption journey for quite a while now. We are just.....living life.
I remember thinking once we were matched, I could exhale again. Wrong! Then you worry that the expectant mother will not like something you said and then back out of the match. Then the baby is born and comes home with you (if she signs the TPR paperwork) and then you still hold your breath. You hold your breath waiting for the day that the judge signs the official adoption paperwork and it is finalized. You worry that the birth parents will take the baby back. Even after my daughter's adoption was finalized, I still worried for a while that the birth parents would find a way to take her back. Even though neither her birth mother or birth father ever tried to take her back and never even said they wished they could take her back. Her birth mother has told me several times that she does not regret her decision to place C with us. Don't get me wrong- of course her birth mother wishes she was in a place to parent, and didn't have to make the decision to place her baby for adoption. But based on her circumstances, she still felt like she made the right decision.
Someone posted something on FB today of an adoptive couple going to the hospital to meet the child they would adopt for the first time. They sent it to A.B.C. news and the emotions and love they felt are palpable in the pictures. They took along a photographer and have amazing pictures. Love at first sight. That is exactly how I felt. Gosh, it brought back so many memories. It is possible to love a baby you did not carry or create. It happened immediately with me.
While we were waiting to be matched, my life was so consumed with adoption, with getting matched, etc. I spent so much time researching, reading adoption blogs, etc. Other stuff gets put on the back burner to a degree.
I am now back to my regular, previously scheduled life just enjoying the days with the kids. I am not so focused on adoption anymore. Which is probably why I don't blog much. And then I created this family blog to document our days as a family of 6. However, the people that are really involved in our lives either talk to us IRL (in real life), or follow me on FB or IG and know what we're up to.
I love adoption and the little girl it brought to our family. I can't believe she will be 3 in a couple months! 3! When did that happen?! I started really seriously thinking about adoption in 2008. We finally signed up with the first agency in November 2009. C came to us in 2012. It is now 2015. That's a lot of years from the beginning stages of our adoption journey until now.
Anyways, just a bit of reflection on the whole process. Seeing how happy that other adoptive couple was in the pictures when they met their new baby for the first time warmed my heart and took me back to NC and to the hospital where I met C for the first time. Oh how smitten I was with her immediately when I walked into that hospital room. And how terrified I was that her birth parents would change their minds and parent her (which was their right) after I had already started falling in love with her. The human heart is an amazing thing....mine fell in love with this baby I just met who didn't share my DNA, and her birth mother's heart loved her enough to do what she thought was best for her.
As for my 4 kiddos....summer is winding down here. How could this be the 10th week of summer vacation already?! We went to Hawaii this month. My oldest son was on the Little League All Stars team. They won the district tournament for the 3rd year in a row, and they played at the State tournament! So exciting! I will have an 8th grader, 5th grader, 2nd grader and a preschooler! How on earth are they this old already?! My daughter is talking so much and is so funny and super smart. I know most parents say their kids are smart, but she is really smart and intuitive.
I hope everybody is enjoying their summer!
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Happy Father's Day!
I had to laugh today....my mom told me at Father's Day dinner, "You don't write too much on your blog anymore!" She is probably one of the few people that actually reads my blog! Lol! We had a yummy nice Father's Day dinner with my parents and father-in-law and my hubby and the kids.
One of my adoption friends finally brought the baby she has been waiting years for home from the hospital recently! I am so excited and happy for her and her family! They have experienced more roadblocks and speed bumps in their adoption journey than anyone I know. I will say this...because the irony is incredible....she is a mom of boys like me, and wanted a daughter as desperately as I did. Well, her tune changed, and the baby I mentioned she brought home from the hospital? Well, the baby is a BOY!! And she is thrilled, over the moon happy! I laugh because I always say that God knows what we really want & need long before we realize it! She really just wanted another baby to love, the gender did not matter in the end.
Another one of my adoption friends who had a bad adoption fall-through after she brought the baby home from the hospital years ago (a couple weeks before my own adoption situation fell thru at the hospital 4 years ago) ....she is a foster parent now and is enjoying her new role. I am so happy for her too. Those were the last two adoption friends that still didn't get their happy ending to their adoption journeys. I have been waiting and waiting to hear their good news. It finally happened!
I messaged Cambria's birth father today and wished him a happy Father's Day. He promptly replied back and thanked me. I texted his mom (Cambria's birth grandma) 2 cute videos yesterday of Cambria doing cute things like counting and reciting her colors and waving hi and bye and blowing a kiss to the camera. She replied back "I love her so much". It melts my heart how much her birth family cares about her. I don't have any worries about them rejecting her when she is older if she chooses to seek them out. If things continue the way they have been going in our open adoption, she will be warmly welcomed by them when she is old enough to contact them herself.
So today, on this Father's Day 2015, I am thinking of my own dad, my husband, my FIL, and my daughter's birth father with love and warm wishes for an amazing Father's Day. I hope Cambria's birth father is enjoying his day with his son. I appreciate him for allowing Dave & me to parent his daughter, and to help us make our dreams come true by having a daughter.
One of my adoption friends finally brought the baby she has been waiting years for home from the hospital recently! I am so excited and happy for her and her family! They have experienced more roadblocks and speed bumps in their adoption journey than anyone I know. I will say this...because the irony is incredible....she is a mom of boys like me, and wanted a daughter as desperately as I did. Well, her tune changed, and the baby I mentioned she brought home from the hospital? Well, the baby is a BOY!! And she is thrilled, over the moon happy! I laugh because I always say that God knows what we really want & need long before we realize it! She really just wanted another baby to love, the gender did not matter in the end.
Another one of my adoption friends who had a bad adoption fall-through after she brought the baby home from the hospital years ago (a couple weeks before my own adoption situation fell thru at the hospital 4 years ago) ....she is a foster parent now and is enjoying her new role. I am so happy for her too. Those were the last two adoption friends that still didn't get their happy ending to their adoption journeys. I have been waiting and waiting to hear their good news. It finally happened!
I messaged Cambria's birth father today and wished him a happy Father's Day. He promptly replied back and thanked me. I texted his mom (Cambria's birth grandma) 2 cute videos yesterday of Cambria doing cute things like counting and reciting her colors and waving hi and bye and blowing a kiss to the camera. She replied back "I love her so much". It melts my heart how much her birth family cares about her. I don't have any worries about them rejecting her when she is older if she chooses to seek them out. If things continue the way they have been going in our open adoption, she will be warmly welcomed by them when she is old enough to contact them herself.
So today, on this Father's Day 2015, I am thinking of my own dad, my husband, my FIL, and my daughter's birth father with love and warm wishes for an amazing Father's Day. I hope Cambria's birth father is enjoying his day with his son. I appreciate him for allowing Dave & me to parent his daughter, and to help us make our dreams come true by having a daughter.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
In Which I Brag For a Couple Minutes.....
Happy June! Hope everyone is soaking up the sun and enjoying these summer days!
My boys all did amazing this school year. Zack went to a new school that is notorious for being hard. Very rigorous. 9 classes. He went to the Ba.sis school here, and loved it. I was a bit skeptical when he said he wanted to go there. It's a lot of homework and studying and tests and quizzes. He likes to play sports. And video games. Those damn video games! And talk/skype/text with his friends. Anyways, he got straight A's all year long in every class. He made honor roll (top 15% of his class) 2 quarters this year. His overall class average was 97% this last quarter! Holy cow! And they take pre-comps (mid-terms) and comp (cumulative final exams). Talk about pressure! He is notoriously disorganized and lets mommy save his bacon when he is irresponsible and forgetful and loses stuff. This school's claim to fame in the middle school years is teaching them study and organizational skills. And by God, it worked! Listen to the classes he took this year: Mandarin (and he went to his friend's grandpa's house who is Chinese for extra practice who talked to the teacher who told the grandpa that Zack is one of the best students in Mandarin class! Did you catch that?! Sorry long run-on sentence.) After Mandarin is Biology, Chemistry (he was doing stuff I did in 11th grade!), Physics, P.E., Algebra 1, English, Logic, & US History. He is an interesting kid. Not totally nerdy...athletic too. He was the strike out king in majors this year in Little League! (He pitched the most strike outs, not the most strike outs at bat! lol!!) Also, he was tied for the most home runs this season. Totally on fire. And he painted his little 2 year old sister's nails yesterday with her favorite Frozen nail polish. Bam! Don't get me wrong, he is still a typical teenage boy (almost a teenager in a couple weeks) and pushes my buttons and his brothers' buttons!
My middle son had a great year too. Straight A's all year long in the honors program and had a great last year in minors baseball. Was primarily the catcher or pitcher. Did really well. He is into roller hockey right now. LOVES to rollerblade in my living room. SIGH.....
My 7 year old is hilarious. And smart. And athletic. Did I mention hilarious? The other day, I was telling the boys they are getting haircuts this week. Joshua said, "I only want the hair on my back cut." Cue middle son: "WHAT?? You have hair on your back??" And I said, "No, he means that little piece of hair in the back of his head in the middle that grew longer around his neck." Jacob asked if daddy had hair on his back. I replied, "No." Joshua, my son with that devilish 7 year old grin said, "Well, if I had hair on my back (as opposed to the hair on the back of his head), I would just go to that place and get it waxed!" I almost spit out my drink! I inquired how he even knew about those waxing places & he said he saw something about them on T.V. What the what?! On the Disney Channel?! Oy.
Cambria is talking SO much and stringing more and more words together to form long sentences. We are working on potty training. It was all her idea. She's been going on the potty a few times a day. So proud! She loves nail polish and loves to pick out her hair bows now. And she loves to go swimming.
Even though some days are harder than others, I'm lucky and blessed. And I know it.
My boys all did amazing this school year. Zack went to a new school that is notorious for being hard. Very rigorous. 9 classes. He went to the Ba.sis school here, and loved it. I was a bit skeptical when he said he wanted to go there. It's a lot of homework and studying and tests and quizzes. He likes to play sports. And video games. Those damn video games! And talk/skype/text with his friends. Anyways, he got straight A's all year long in every class. He made honor roll (top 15% of his class) 2 quarters this year. His overall class average was 97% this last quarter! Holy cow! And they take pre-comps (mid-terms) and comp (cumulative final exams). Talk about pressure! He is notoriously disorganized and lets mommy save his bacon when he is irresponsible and forgetful and loses stuff. This school's claim to fame in the middle school years is teaching them study and organizational skills. And by God, it worked! Listen to the classes he took this year: Mandarin (and he went to his friend's grandpa's house who is Chinese for extra practice who talked to the teacher who told the grandpa that Zack is one of the best students in Mandarin class! Did you catch that?! Sorry long run-on sentence.) After Mandarin is Biology, Chemistry (he was doing stuff I did in 11th grade!), Physics, P.E., Algebra 1, English, Logic, & US History. He is an interesting kid. Not totally nerdy...athletic too. He was the strike out king in majors this year in Little League! (He pitched the most strike outs, not the most strike outs at bat! lol!!) Also, he was tied for the most home runs this season. Totally on fire. And he painted his little 2 year old sister's nails yesterday with her favorite Frozen nail polish. Bam! Don't get me wrong, he is still a typical teenage boy (almost a teenager in a couple weeks) and pushes my buttons and his brothers' buttons!
My middle son had a great year too. Straight A's all year long in the honors program and had a great last year in minors baseball. Was primarily the catcher or pitcher. Did really well. He is into roller hockey right now. LOVES to rollerblade in my living room. SIGH.....
My 7 year old is hilarious. And smart. And athletic. Did I mention hilarious? The other day, I was telling the boys they are getting haircuts this week. Joshua said, "I only want the hair on my back cut." Cue middle son: "WHAT?? You have hair on your back??" And I said, "No, he means that little piece of hair in the back of his head in the middle that grew longer around his neck." Jacob asked if daddy had hair on his back. I replied, "No." Joshua, my son with that devilish 7 year old grin said, "Well, if I had hair on my back (as opposed to the hair on the back of his head), I would just go to that place and get it waxed!" I almost spit out my drink! I inquired how he even knew about those waxing places & he said he saw something about them on T.V. What the what?! On the Disney Channel?! Oy.
Cambria is talking SO much and stringing more and more words together to form long sentences. We are working on potty training. It was all her idea. She's been going on the potty a few times a day. So proud! She loves nail polish and loves to pick out her hair bows now. And she loves to go swimming.
Even though some days are harder than others, I'm lucky and blessed. And I know it.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Happy Mother's Day 2015!
Happy Mother's Day 2015! I got to celebrate my first Mother's Day in 2003 and I still remember it! Zack was almost 11 months old. Gosh, time has flown by so fast. We went to dinner with my parents today to celebrate. I love this feeling of being content...like my family is complete. I am so blessed. Life may get crazy and overwhelming and busy at times, but it is so worth it. I know down the road when the kids are all grown up and have moved out to go to college and have moved on to the next phase of their lives, that I will be sad. Cambria is only 2, so that day won't be for quite a while!
I am also thinking of those women that are waiting and wanting to be moms, but aren't yet. I am sure this day must be so hard for you. For those women struggling with infertility, I hope you become a mother soon...either through pregnancy or the miracle of adoption.
Yesterday was birth mom's day. I am so glad we have an open adoption with Cambria's birth mom and her birth family on both sides. I am happy her birth family gets to watch her grow up across the country and they know that she is happy and healthy and they can have some peace knowing she is doing great. I think the not knowing would kill me in a closed adoption.
Despite the happiness and joy that Cambria has brought to my family, there is still loss in adoption...no matter how you slice it. There is still loss on 2 sides of the adoption triad. The birth mother experiences a loss of her child and the adoptee experiences the loss of having their birth family in their life everyday. Even in a good adoption relationship, there is still a sense of loss unfortunately. A birth mother breaks her own heart and sacrifices her own happiness to give her child the life she wants for them. That, my friends, is motherhood.
Even if the road is bumpy now and then in open adoption, I love Cambria's birth mom and wish her nothing but the best!
I am also thinking of those women that are waiting and wanting to be moms, but aren't yet. I am sure this day must be so hard for you. For those women struggling with infertility, I hope you become a mother soon...either through pregnancy or the miracle of adoption.
Yesterday was birth mom's day. I am so glad we have an open adoption with Cambria's birth mom and her birth family on both sides. I am happy her birth family gets to watch her grow up across the country and they know that she is happy and healthy and they can have some peace knowing she is doing great. I think the not knowing would kill me in a closed adoption.
Despite the happiness and joy that Cambria has brought to my family, there is still loss in adoption...no matter how you slice it. There is still loss on 2 sides of the adoption triad. The birth mother experiences a loss of her child and the adoptee experiences the loss of having their birth family in their life everyday. Even in a good adoption relationship, there is still a sense of loss unfortunately. A birth mother breaks her own heart and sacrifices her own happiness to give her child the life she wants for them. That, my friends, is motherhood.
Even if the road is bumpy now and then in open adoption, I love Cambria's birth mom and wish her nothing but the best!
Friday, April 17, 2015
Baseball, Baseball, Baseball.....
It is baseball season in my house. 3 boys playing in 3 different age divisions means a lot of time at the baseball fields for this mama and her family. But it is so fun. And we have made a lot of good friendships there. Zack is on fire this year so far. I'm so proud of him. He hit a home run on opening day, and pitched and played shortstop, and his team won! YAY! (He is currently in the lead for quality at bats in his league in our town!) He played catcher the second game, and they won again! Now, let me give you some background information. His team was in last place last year. It was so sad. They won one game and tied one game the whole season. So even if they don't win another game this whole season, they are already doing better than they did last year! Actually, at the end of the regular season, all the teams play in a tournament of champions against the other teams in their league. Then the winner goes to the district championships. Last year, his team beat the 1st place team in the league! Unbelievable! There were a lot of upset 12 year old boys last year! So anyways the team with the 2nd best record ended up winning the tournament of champions and district championships last year. Zack's team played that TOC & district championship winning team the 1st two games of this season and beat them! However, the other team lost a lot of their best players this year because they aged out of that age division, and they were replaced with young kids.
Did I mention Zack hit a home run? Wowza! And he hit another one at practice tonight. This season is off to a fun start for him. Jacob is in the younger division below Zack's. Jacob has played catcher and pitcher (notice a pattern here?!) and he got 2 in-the-park home runs and a double! So proud of him too. And Joshua is in the younger division below Jacob's, which is coach pitch. He has been doing well too. :)
I'm taking photography classes at the local community college, which I love.
OK so back to baseball.....haha! That's about all my time is filled up with these days. When I'm not at the baseball fields, I'm home washing baseball uniforms! And the D-Backs are on my TV. They had an amazing win the other night in the 12th inning, BTW! Did anyone catch the game?
We are having 3 families from Zack's baseball team over on Sunday for dinner......and I'm sure we'll talk about.... baseball!
I don't really have anything else to talk about. Well, I do have updates on the situation with the BIL and also the people in our open adoption, but I don't feel this is the place to talk about it. Wait, let me back up a few feet. Things are going well between us and Cambria's birth mom and birth father and birth grandmas and aunts, etc. But the details of their lives are private. I texted a picture of Cambria to her birth sister's adoptive mom, and she texted me a picture back of Cambria's birth sister wearing the same exact sweater on the same day...across the country! What are the chances?!
And the details of the saga with the BIL and his daughter.... it's just so sad and frustrating and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. :(
The family member with stage 4 cancer is doing better... finished with chemo and radiation and technically I think is in remission & has to go back in a couple months for a PET scan.
My grandma has Alzheimer's. And it's pretty advanced- and it advanced pretty quickly. It's so sad. That disease robs people of their quality of life in so many ways. I would just like a season in my family's life where nothing bad happens to anyone.
Anyways....my baby girl is 2.5 years old. How did that happen?! Wow, she is so smart and funny and spunky. She knows what she wants and when she wants it (which is usually NOW! Haha!)
I have been using essential oils when the kids or I have been sick. So she has seen me apply them to the chest and/or the bottoms of the feet. The other day we were driving in the car, and she stuck her foot in the air and said, "Mommy, oils on my feet!" Oh my gosh I laughed so hard! She takes in so much of the world around her! And later that same day, my 7 year old son asked me if he looked good in skinny jeans! Bahahaha! I burst out laughing and told him yes and I asked him why he asked me that...did someone at school say he didn't look good in skinny jeans? And he replied, "No, I just knew that I looked good in skinny jeans!" That kid! What a character! And Cami tells me she loves me all the time now. Makes all the hard moments of parenting sooooo worth it!
Did I mention Zack hit a home run? Wowza! And he hit another one at practice tonight. This season is off to a fun start for him. Jacob is in the younger division below Zack's. Jacob has played catcher and pitcher (notice a pattern here?!) and he got 2 in-the-park home runs and a double! So proud of him too. And Joshua is in the younger division below Jacob's, which is coach pitch. He has been doing well too. :)
I'm taking photography classes at the local community college, which I love.
OK so back to baseball.....haha! That's about all my time is filled up with these days. When I'm not at the baseball fields, I'm home washing baseball uniforms! And the D-Backs are on my TV. They had an amazing win the other night in the 12th inning, BTW! Did anyone catch the game?
We are having 3 families from Zack's baseball team over on Sunday for dinner......and I'm sure we'll talk about.... baseball!
I don't really have anything else to talk about. Well, I do have updates on the situation with the BIL and also the people in our open adoption, but I don't feel this is the place to talk about it. Wait, let me back up a few feet. Things are going well between us and Cambria's birth mom and birth father and birth grandmas and aunts, etc. But the details of their lives are private. I texted a picture of Cambria to her birth sister's adoptive mom, and she texted me a picture back of Cambria's birth sister wearing the same exact sweater on the same day...across the country! What are the chances?!
And the details of the saga with the BIL and his daughter.... it's just so sad and frustrating and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. :(
The family member with stage 4 cancer is doing better... finished with chemo and radiation and technically I think is in remission & has to go back in a couple months for a PET scan.
My grandma has Alzheimer's. And it's pretty advanced- and it advanced pretty quickly. It's so sad. That disease robs people of their quality of life in so many ways. I would just like a season in my family's life where nothing bad happens to anyone.
Anyways....my baby girl is 2.5 years old. How did that happen?! Wow, she is so smart and funny and spunky. She knows what she wants and when she wants it (which is usually NOW! Haha!)
I have been using essential oils when the kids or I have been sick. So she has seen me apply them to the chest and/or the bottoms of the feet. The other day we were driving in the car, and she stuck her foot in the air and said, "Mommy, oils on my feet!" Oh my gosh I laughed so hard! She takes in so much of the world around her! And later that same day, my 7 year old son asked me if he looked good in skinny jeans! Bahahaha! I burst out laughing and told him yes and I asked him why he asked me that...did someone at school say he didn't look good in skinny jeans? And he replied, "No, I just knew that I looked good in skinny jeans!" That kid! What a character! And Cami tells me she loves me all the time now. Makes all the hard moments of parenting sooooo worth it!
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