My oldest son Zachary turned 11 yesterday. He had a pretty great day. He started it off by going to fishing camp at a nearby lake with some other kids. He caught a bunch of crawfish. Then we went to his birthday lunch at Red Lobster (his choice for crab legs!). Zack and Jake were not too happy with us when we wouldn't let them take the crawfish home with us! We were going straight to lunch, and then a few other places. We weren't going to be home for hours, so we didn't want their catch stinking up our car! He had crab legs, a strawberry smoothie, and cheesecake. Perfect meal! Then we went to Target and he got a new fishing pole. Then last night, he played in the All Stars baseball game. It was a great game. Then in the last inning, his team was winning 11-8 (but the other team had just had a hitting streak and got a home run), bases were loaded, and Zack's coach put him in to pitch! Holy moly! He hadn't pitched in a year.....since the baseball season before this one! He had been mostly playing 3rd base this year. So anyways, no pressure at all, right? Bases loaded, tying runs on base....Zack goes to warm up and while doing so, accidentally hits the umpire in the chest with the ball! Oh Lord, this is not going well!
I was so nervous, so I got up and went and hid out in the bathroom while he was pitching! Nervous Nellie over here! And you get in trouble at these games if you try to coach them from the sidelines or say too much stuff.
So while I am hiding out like a wimp in the bathroom, I hear screams from the crowd. OH NO! Are they from our team or the other team?
No pressure at all for my kid on the pitcher's mound! HA! Oh, and did I mention that the game was supposed to start at 8:00 PM? Well, we were waiting on the ump....for an hour and a half! He was umping another game at the field next to ours, and it went into overtime. Sheesh! So Zack's game finally ended at 11:30. He's on the pitcher's mound dead tired at 11:20 PM! Isn't that nuts? The games are at a central location in a different city. We got home at 1:00 AM! YIKES!
Oh so I didn't mention the outcome yet?! haha! Zack worked some magic out there for sure, and his team won! And the best part? Wait for it.....he got the game ball for "the save"! What a great birthday present!
The perfect ending to a wonderful birthday!
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
One Year Ago
Wow, I haven't blogged since June 7th! Every time I think I want to blog, I don't have time to write a good blog post or I don't have the energy. I can finally drive again after my surgery, so I've been busy doing just that. Driving 4 kiddos around town and being busy on summer vacation. I am exhausted. It's only been 2 and a half weeks since I had surgery. My body lets me know when I am overdoing it. Thank you, body of mine! HA!
Like yesterday. It was a perfect day to write a great post. But alas, I did not blog yesterday. One year ago yesterday, I found out about Cambria and her birth mom and her adoption plans. I can't remember if I shared the story or not. It's cool the way it unfolded. We applied to be shown to her birthmom last June. We were not picked. I was crushed. (OK, this isn't the cool part! HA!) I mean, we had been passed over many times on our adoption journey, and none of those "rejections" got to me the way this one did. I really felt like this was the adoption situation that was meant for us. I remember going to physical therapy for my ankle and I was standing outside the building, and the adoption professional told me we weren't picked. I STILL to this day remember that conversation, where I was standing right outside the front door of the physical therapy office when she told me we weren't picked. I called a couple of my closest adoption friends and told them the bad news. I was so bummed. Anyways, moving on....we actually had gotten picked a few times after that day over the summer for other matches (one was a hospital call in Phoenix, all we had to do was get in the car and drive an hour and a half to go get our daugher....and we declined the match.) These situations weren't right for us, we felt in our hearts. It was like my gut was practically screaming at me to sit down, and take a time out and just wait. Wait. Just wait. For the right situation. Then, on September 21, 2012, we got "THE CALL". When I least expected it. The adoptive family had to withdraw from the match, and Cambria's birth mom picked us to be the adoptive parents to her baby. Say wha??? I was shocked!
Well, come to find out, we were 2nd choice all along. To hear Cambria's birthmom's side of the story is even cooler! She received the adoptive parent profile books via email. She looked at them. She couldn't open our link. She picked a different adoptive family. Then the adoption professional told her to pick a back-up choice of adoptive parents. Then she was able to open our profile book, and she picked us as her 2nd choice/ back-up choice.
We were the back-up choice all along...for 3 months....and I had no idea! So then on Sept. 21st, she looked at profile books again since the first family had to withdraw, and she came across our profile book, and picked us again.
One year ago today this little girl made such a huge impact on me, and she wasn't even born yet!
Some days I still can't believe how it all worked out! How thru the ups and downs and twists and turns, the stars aligned and she crossed paths with Dave and me, and became our daughter.
And I am ever so thankful and grateful and blessed and....happy. :)
Like yesterday. It was a perfect day to write a great post. But alas, I did not blog yesterday. One year ago yesterday, I found out about Cambria and her birth mom and her adoption plans. I can't remember if I shared the story or not. It's cool the way it unfolded. We applied to be shown to her birthmom last June. We were not picked. I was crushed. (OK, this isn't the cool part! HA!) I mean, we had been passed over many times on our adoption journey, and none of those "rejections" got to me the way this one did. I really felt like this was the adoption situation that was meant for us. I remember going to physical therapy for my ankle and I was standing outside the building, and the adoption professional told me we weren't picked. I STILL to this day remember that conversation, where I was standing right outside the front door of the physical therapy office when she told me we weren't picked. I called a couple of my closest adoption friends and told them the bad news. I was so bummed. Anyways, moving on....we actually had gotten picked a few times after that day over the summer for other matches (one was a hospital call in Phoenix, all we had to do was get in the car and drive an hour and a half to go get our daugher....and we declined the match.) These situations weren't right for us, we felt in our hearts. It was like my gut was practically screaming at me to sit down, and take a time out and just wait. Wait. Just wait. For the right situation. Then, on September 21, 2012, we got "THE CALL". When I least expected it. The adoptive family had to withdraw from the match, and Cambria's birth mom picked us to be the adoptive parents to her baby. Say wha??? I was shocked!
Well, come to find out, we were 2nd choice all along. To hear Cambria's birthmom's side of the story is even cooler! She received the adoptive parent profile books via email. She looked at them. She couldn't open our link. She picked a different adoptive family. Then the adoption professional told her to pick a back-up choice of adoptive parents. Then she was able to open our profile book, and she picked us as her 2nd choice/ back-up choice.
We were the back-up choice all along...for 3 months....and I had no idea! So then on Sept. 21st, she looked at profile books again since the first family had to withdraw, and she came across our profile book, and picked us again.
One year ago today this little girl made such a huge impact on me, and she wasn't even born yet!
Some days I still can't believe how it all worked out! How thru the ups and downs and twists and turns, the stars aligned and she crossed paths with Dave and me, and became our daughter.
And I am ever so thankful and grateful and blessed and....happy. :)
Friday, June 7, 2013
Eyes
I should have also mentioned in my blog post yesterday...when I talked about choosing the egg donor who had the striking eyes, that her eyes looked nothing like mine or Dave's or my kids' eyes. They were just beautiful.
In reality, my daughter's eyes look like my eyes. They are crazy beautiful blue, just like mine. See, God has a plan. He absolutely knows what he is doing! I didn't always believe it when we were going thru the ups and downs of adoption and trying to grow our family.
I was so busy going in every direction trying to figure out how to grow our family and making myself (and those around me!) nuts in the process. I wish I would have relaxed more and sat back and been patient for our baby girl to arrive...all in God's timing.
P.S. Let me clarify....I am in no way saying that your adopted kids have to have the same eyes as you.
It doesn't matter at all. I am just talking about the irony of my situation...that I wanted to pick this egg donor who had beautiful eyes that didn't look like anyone in my family. Then we decided to pursue adoption, and our baby girl ended up having eyes that look like mine and my son Jacob!
In reality, my daughter's eyes look like my eyes. They are crazy beautiful blue, just like mine. See, God has a plan. He absolutely knows what he is doing! I didn't always believe it when we were going thru the ups and downs of adoption and trying to grow our family.
I was so busy going in every direction trying to figure out how to grow our family and making myself (and those around me!) nuts in the process. I wish I would have relaxed more and sat back and been patient for our baby girl to arrive...all in God's timing.
P.S. Let me clarify....I am in no way saying that your adopted kids have to have the same eyes as you.
It doesn't matter at all. I am just talking about the irony of my situation...that I wanted to pick this egg donor who had beautiful eyes that didn't look like anyone in my family. Then we decided to pursue adoption, and our baby girl ended up having eyes that look like mine and my son Jacob!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
IVF/Adoption/Endometriosis
About a year before Cami arrived, I went to see the fertility (infertility?) specialist about doing IVF. I had seen him 6 months before too. Then we were matched with that birthmom in San Francisco. So when that match fell apart in April, I took some time to collect my thoughts and in the summer decided to see the IVF doctor again. I was told my hormone levels took a dump, and to optimize chances of getting pregnant, they recommended I use an egg donor. I was ok with that. After all, I was planning on adopting. I started looking through the egg donor profiles. I picked this young woman who had striking eyes. She was in the middle of another cycle with another family, so we would have to wait until she was done with that to begin our cycle with her.
Then DH (dear hubby) announced that he preferred to adopt instead of using an egg donor. He said it would put us on an even playing field if neither one of us was related to the baby biologically. Whereas, with an egg donor, it would be his biological baby but not mine and an uneven playing field of sorts. Okayyyy...... I guess I couldn't really argue with him, especially since he was the one working his ass off and paying for this adoption/ IVF costs.
How weird is it that I had to have a hysterectomy 8 months after we adopted a baby? And not before? I am glad of the timing. Is that weird? That we chose to adopt not because it was our only choice, but because we thought it was the better choice at the time? Instead of IVF, with a baby that would be half our ours biologically after we already had 3 bio kids? At that time, I thought that I could still get pregnant and carry a child. And we still opted to go the adoption route. (I'm so happy we did!)
After my surgery one week ago today, I think the chances of me getting pregnant were extremely slim. I'm so glad we didn't fork over the $$$ and put my body thru the meds and IVF procedures.
Now I have to decide if I want to take Lupron. It is a shot that lasts for 3 months to shut down endometriosis. My doctor suggested it in the hospital to shut down any remaining endometriosis. Good God, how bad was it in there?! She said we could do the shot at my follow-up appt next week. I was like "oh sure, no problem". Well, then I started reading about the side effects of Lupron. Holy cow! One of the entries when I Googled it said "Are you in Lupron hell?"
There can be bad side effects. Really bad.
We are supposed to leave for Maui in July. I am afraid to get this shot that lasts in your body for 3 months when I have to get on an airplane in a month. But if I don't take the Lupron, if the endometriosis is really bad, it can eat away at my intestines, bladder, etc.
I am really torn.
I think if I do the Lupron shot, I'll do it after we get home from Maui.
And for now, I'm going to go love on that sweet baby girl of mine that came to me exactly the way God intended her to! :)
Then DH (dear hubby) announced that he preferred to adopt instead of using an egg donor. He said it would put us on an even playing field if neither one of us was related to the baby biologically. Whereas, with an egg donor, it would be his biological baby but not mine and an uneven playing field of sorts. Okayyyy...... I guess I couldn't really argue with him, especially since he was the one working his ass off and paying for this adoption/ IVF costs.
How weird is it that I had to have a hysterectomy 8 months after we adopted a baby? And not before? I am glad of the timing. Is that weird? That we chose to adopt not because it was our only choice, but because we thought it was the better choice at the time? Instead of IVF, with a baby that would be half our ours biologically after we already had 3 bio kids? At that time, I thought that I could still get pregnant and carry a child. And we still opted to go the adoption route. (I'm so happy we did!)
After my surgery one week ago today, I think the chances of me getting pregnant were extremely slim. I'm so glad we didn't fork over the $$$ and put my body thru the meds and IVF procedures.
Now I have to decide if I want to take Lupron. It is a shot that lasts for 3 months to shut down endometriosis. My doctor suggested it in the hospital to shut down any remaining endometriosis. Good God, how bad was it in there?! She said we could do the shot at my follow-up appt next week. I was like "oh sure, no problem". Well, then I started reading about the side effects of Lupron. Holy cow! One of the entries when I Googled it said "Are you in Lupron hell?"
There can be bad side effects. Really bad.
We are supposed to leave for Maui in July. I am afraid to get this shot that lasts in your body for 3 months when I have to get on an airplane in a month. But if I don't take the Lupron, if the endometriosis is really bad, it can eat away at my intestines, bladder, etc.
I am really torn.
I think if I do the Lupron shot, I'll do it after we get home from Maui.
And for now, I'm going to go love on that sweet baby girl of mine that came to me exactly the way God intended her to! :)
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Surgery Update
I am officially barren. Barren. Sometimes I am totally fine with it. I mean, really, I have 4 kiddos. Isn't that enough? And 3 of them grew in that womb of mine. I adopted a baby girl that I love just as much as if she had grew in that womb of mine, too. So it's not like the hysterectomy signalled me never having any biological kids. 4 kids is plenty. So why am I sometimes experiencing twinges of sadness? I've had 2 crying jags so far- my mom and Dave say it's because of my hormones being out of whack. I went into automatic menopause. Yikes. I am, however, wearing an estrogen patch. I have tears streaming down my face as I type this. What the hell is wrong with me?
While I was in the hospital (I stayed for 2 nights), I saw on Facecrack that Dave's BFF from med school and his wife are finally pregnant. They have been trying for a long time and had infertility issues. They talked to us about adoption when we saw them in December. I was suggesting some adoption agencies for them to contact. She is 23 weeks pregnant, so they got pregnant after we saw them. I don't even know the gender, but I felt a twang of jealousy. What the?? You're probably thinking, "What the hell is wrong with you, woman!" They deserve to be happy and pregnant. So why did this hit me so hard? Because I am 42 and while that is pushing it to get pregnant anyways, there is absolutely no chance of me being pregnant again. Our adoption home study certification expires next month. We are definitely not renewing it, I haven't even asked Dave to renew it. I know my family is complete with our 4 kiddos.
So about my surgery....at first we talked about just taking out the ovary with the mass on it. Then I suggested doing a total hyst and taking both ovaries. So I don't have to worry about any masses on the other ovary. Well, good thing I was ok with that before we went in. There was no way to salvage the uterus. The ovary with the mass on it was stuck to the backside of the uterus. They were not coming apart. Crazy, right? My uterus didn't look great, it was described as "boggy". The other fallopian tube was caked with endometriosis. That is what I had. Endometriosis. My surgery took longer than expected. Apparently, I had endometriosis. My OB/GYN said she couldn't believe I had 3 babies with that uterus!
Who wouldda thunk?! I made a prediction before my surgery that I had endometriosis.....I had been having horrible crampy painful periods. But I didn't think it was that bad!
Please don't judge me because I admitted being sad that I have entered an era....infertility....menopause.....like an old lady! Please don't judge me that I had a twinge of jealousy that our friends are pregnant. We are not even looking to expand our family anymore. I think it just hit me funny like when my husband likes to tell me, "Vicki, we're in our 40's now! These things happen when we get older!" about other things that we encounter. I think these hormones shifts are affecting me more than I thought they would. I am truly happy for our friends and am looking forward to mailing them a baby gift.
Cambria's birthmom mailed us a really sweet letter that I got today. She told us how much she loves us and how she's glad she picked the perfect family for her baby girl. It was so lovely. I am so glad we have this open adoption with her birth family. So guess what happened? I started crying after I read the letter! These damn hormones! I love that baby girl so much, and I love her birthmom and have the utmost respect for her for allowing me to raise her and be her mama. So why the tears?! lol maybe I need to be wearing 2 hormone patches instead of one! ;)
While I was in the hospital (I stayed for 2 nights), I saw on Facecrack that Dave's BFF from med school and his wife are finally pregnant. They have been trying for a long time and had infertility issues. They talked to us about adoption when we saw them in December. I was suggesting some adoption agencies for them to contact. She is 23 weeks pregnant, so they got pregnant after we saw them. I don't even know the gender, but I felt a twang of jealousy. What the?? You're probably thinking, "What the hell is wrong with you, woman!" They deserve to be happy and pregnant. So why did this hit me so hard? Because I am 42 and while that is pushing it to get pregnant anyways, there is absolutely no chance of me being pregnant again. Our adoption home study certification expires next month. We are definitely not renewing it, I haven't even asked Dave to renew it. I know my family is complete with our 4 kiddos.
So about my surgery....at first we talked about just taking out the ovary with the mass on it. Then I suggested doing a total hyst and taking both ovaries. So I don't have to worry about any masses on the other ovary. Well, good thing I was ok with that before we went in. There was no way to salvage the uterus. The ovary with the mass on it was stuck to the backside of the uterus. They were not coming apart. Crazy, right? My uterus didn't look great, it was described as "boggy". The other fallopian tube was caked with endometriosis. That is what I had. Endometriosis. My surgery took longer than expected. Apparently, I had endometriosis. My OB/GYN said she couldn't believe I had 3 babies with that uterus!
Who wouldda thunk?! I made a prediction before my surgery that I had endometriosis.....I had been having horrible crampy painful periods. But I didn't think it was that bad!
Please don't judge me because I admitted being sad that I have entered an era....infertility....menopause.....like an old lady! Please don't judge me that I had a twinge of jealousy that our friends are pregnant. We are not even looking to expand our family anymore. I think it just hit me funny like when my husband likes to tell me, "Vicki, we're in our 40's now! These things happen when we get older!" about other things that we encounter. I think these hormones shifts are affecting me more than I thought they would. I am truly happy for our friends and am looking forward to mailing them a baby gift.
Cambria's birthmom mailed us a really sweet letter that I got today. She told us how much she loves us and how she's glad she picked the perfect family for her baby girl. It was so lovely. I am so glad we have this open adoption with her birth family. So guess what happened? I started crying after I read the letter! These damn hormones! I love that baby girl so much, and I love her birthmom and have the utmost respect for her for allowing me to raise her and be her mama. So why the tears?! lol maybe I need to be wearing 2 hormone patches instead of one! ;)
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