Extra extra! Read all about it! I FINALLY became an auntie yesterday! My brother and SIL had a baby yesterday. They didn't find out the gender until the delivery. What the what?! Hello impatient me! I had so many ultrasounds with each pregnancy that waiting until he delivery to find out the gender was pretty near impossible. I knew I was having 3 boys way before I even had the ultrasound! HA! And so of course I predicted my brother would also be having a boy and I was right! My dad has 4 brothers and no sisters so I guessed boy. Our family doesn't make too many girls! Anyways I was right! My cute nephew was born yesterday. I am so excited. I am excited for my brother and SIL to be a family of 3. I am excited that I am finally an auntie! I am excited that my kids finally have a cousin! I cannot wait to meet him. They live in another state so hopefully we can make it out there soon.
I felt kind of weird having my adoption friends see my post of their new baby. The adoption friends with no biological kids. That can be painful to see that. I'm sure they would like to bring a baby home from the hospital without looking back over their shoulder constantly wondering if the birth parents were going to change their mind and take the baby back. No stress other than hoping the baby is healthy. Oh well you can't fault people for being able to have biological children. I've said before that I am happy to have grown my family both ways....I have been blessed with biological and adopted children. After having biological children, I knew just how much birth moms sacrifice when they place a baby for adoption. That bond is so great the minute the baby enters the world. That means a lot when a birth mom entrusts you with her baby forever. Something else noteworthy happened- their new baby did not make me want to have another. I had that feeling for so many years. It finally went away. I am happy and content with my family. And I am utterly thrilled for my brother and SIL. My nephew weighed more than my brother, my kids or I did! LOL! Big healthy baby with cute chubby cheeks!
I mentioned that I am finally an aunt and my kids finally have a cousin. If you've been reading my blog, you might be thinking "but you are already an aunt and your kids do have a cousin already".
Technically, that is true. But since "those people" have chosen for whatever crazy reason they have concocted to not acknowledge my children and pretend they don't exist, they don't really count as relatives anymore. :(
I am so excited to meet my new nephew!
Now....let the spoiling by this auntie begin! ;)
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Friday, January 1, 2016
Happy New Year 2016!
I cannot believe it is 2016 already! This year 2015 was a blur it went by so fast! It was better than 2014. The 2 family members with cancer (one human family member, one furry family member!) finished chemo (and also radiation for the human family member) and they are both in remission. YAY! Such wonderful news! Also, my brother got married in February, and it was a very fun, nice wedding. They are pregnant and expecting my first niece or nephew (I'm going to guess the baby is a boy!) in 3 weeks!! I am so excited to finally be an aunt and for my kids to have a cousin!! Well, technically I have a niece by marriage and my kids technically have a cousin, but she has chosen to have nothing to do with any of my kids and has still never acknowledged that my 3-year-old daughter is even alive and on this planet. Can you imagine? She is in her 20's and at this point I am ashamed to technically be related to her and her parents, for that matter. My friend posted something today about the new year and her motto for the new year is going to be Let That Shit Go! I think I need to also adopt her motto!! ;)
Anyways, we are excited for my kids' real cousin to arrive!!
What a year this has been! I have sucked at blogging. So much going on with the kids and their activities and family vacations. I still haven't figured out how to post pictures from this computer. Some highlights from the year have been:
~ Zachary making the All Star baseball team and his team winning the district championships for the 3rd year in a row and at the state tournament, he hit a home run which tied up the game and at his next at bat got a single which enabled them to win the game and not be eliminated from the tournament. They eventually lost, but coming from a small town, they did great! He also tied for the most home runs in the spring little league season! He also held the record for striking out the most batters when he was pitching! He got straight A's last year and this year so far. He won an award for most enjoyable to coach player at a baseball camp this summer.
~Jacob switched to a new, more rigorous school this year and did fantastic and got on the honor roll twice (top 15% of his class) and was one of two boys to make the middle school basketball team! He also was in the guitar club and played at the Christmas concert at school! Jacob did a great job snorkeling in the open water in Maui...... watching the videos afterwards did freak out his grandmother and me! Lol!
~Joshua also switched to a new, more rigorous school this year and did fantastic and got in the 90's club (90% or higher average in all classes). Joshua went hiking with the big boys (mine and our friends' kids) in Hawaii this summer and jumped off cliffs into lakes! I was not there to witness this, thank goodness! Daddy was in charge that day! He also went snorkeling with his brothers and my hubby and me in the open water in Maui and did great!
~Cambria was in her very first dance recital in May (and technically so was I since it was mommy-and-me dance class!) We danced to "Here Comes the Sun" and it was so much fun! She did great and our dance class ended up in the newspaper! ;) She is also doing better in swim lessons and loves the water!
~Fun trips included many to Phoenix/Scottsdale, attending Diamondbacks and Suns games, stay-cations at fun resorts, trips to Maui and Oahu, Las Vegas, and California- L.A. and San Diego and visiting LegoLand (Cami's birthday request!), Sea World, Disneyland and California Adventure. We also had fun times visiting family and friends.
I wish everyone a happy and healthy new year 2016 full of laughs, love and good health.
Anyways, we are excited for my kids' real cousin to arrive!!
What a year this has been! I have sucked at blogging. So much going on with the kids and their activities and family vacations. I still haven't figured out how to post pictures from this computer. Some highlights from the year have been:
~ Zachary making the All Star baseball team and his team winning the district championships for the 3rd year in a row and at the state tournament, he hit a home run which tied up the game and at his next at bat got a single which enabled them to win the game and not be eliminated from the tournament. They eventually lost, but coming from a small town, they did great! He also tied for the most home runs in the spring little league season! He also held the record for striking out the most batters when he was pitching! He got straight A's last year and this year so far. He won an award for most enjoyable to coach player at a baseball camp this summer.
~Jacob switched to a new, more rigorous school this year and did fantastic and got on the honor roll twice (top 15% of his class) and was one of two boys to make the middle school basketball team! He also was in the guitar club and played at the Christmas concert at school! Jacob did a great job snorkeling in the open water in Maui...... watching the videos afterwards did freak out his grandmother and me! Lol!
~Joshua also switched to a new, more rigorous school this year and did fantastic and got in the 90's club (90% or higher average in all classes). Joshua went hiking with the big boys (mine and our friends' kids) in Hawaii this summer and jumped off cliffs into lakes! I was not there to witness this, thank goodness! Daddy was in charge that day! He also went snorkeling with his brothers and my hubby and me in the open water in Maui and did great!
~Cambria was in her very first dance recital in May (and technically so was I since it was mommy-and-me dance class!) We danced to "Here Comes the Sun" and it was so much fun! She did great and our dance class ended up in the newspaper! ;) She is also doing better in swim lessons and loves the water!
~Fun trips included many to Phoenix/Scottsdale, attending Diamondbacks and Suns games, stay-cations at fun resorts, trips to Maui and Oahu, Las Vegas, and California- L.A. and San Diego and visiting LegoLand (Cami's birthday request!), Sea World, Disneyland and California Adventure. We also had fun times visiting family and friends.
I wish everyone a happy and healthy new year 2016 full of laughs, love and good health.
Sunday, December 6, 2015
December Already?
How can it be December already?! November was a blur. Zack finished up with his fall travel baseball season. Jacob finished up with his weekly baseball camps....14 weeks long. He loved it. Then Jacob made the middle school basketball team. Zack is done with organized basketball...did not want to play on a team anymore. In his defense, he is not super tall like Jacob is. He is way better at baseball. None of my boys played soccer this fall. First time since Zack was 4 that my car hasn't driven to the soccer field every Saturday during the fall! Gotta admit...it was kinda nice. ;)
Joshua did swimming lessons. Cambria does swimming lessons and dance class. Zack and Jake are doing guitar lessons. Zack goes to middle school youth group at our church. Joshua is going to Catholic catechism classes. He is making his 1st Reconciliation this year. He is also in the chess club at school. ;)
Thanksgiving was fun. The kids had Wednesday through Friday and the following Monday off of school. We went to California and had Thanksgiving dinner with my parents, brother, and new SIL. They are pregnant and due with my niece of nephew in January!! It is killing me that they are waiting until the delivery to find out! I am so impatient! I mean, it helps that my hubby is a radiologist and could tell the gender the minute the ultrasound tech scanned over that area! But anyways. I am going to take a guess and make a prediction and say the baby is a boy. My SIL told me they are only going to have one baby. I don't know how true that is, but if this baby is a boy then my parents will have all biological grandsons and no biological granddaughters. I don't think this matters to them. I'm just making a statement. They love my daughter exactly the same as my sons. Anyways, we went to Legoland (Cambria wanted to go as part of her birthday present!), Sea World, then to Dave & Buster's with my BFF from med school and her kids are similar ages to my kids, and then to Disneyland and California Adventure for 2 days. Busy! Whirlwind trip, but fun.
This blog is so lame because I can't seem to post pictures. If you could see a picture of my daughter, oh my goodness she is so beautiful. She is spunky and funny. My boys are getting so tall! My oldest has braces and they are already working their magic...his teeth look so good already and he still has like 15 months more to go! My dog Sophie who had her leg amputated for osteosarcoma bone cancer and had chemo is doing well. One year cancer free! I love that dog.
Life is fun and hard at the same time. My to-do list is a million miles long every day, but the kids are busy doing fun things and I manage to squeeze in some time with my hubby and family and friends. What more could I ask for? (Besides good health for everyone I know and love.)
If I don't get a chance to blog again before Christmas (which is a good possibility), here's wishing everyone a blessed holiday season full of laughter and love and good health and a splendid new year 2016.
Joshua did swimming lessons. Cambria does swimming lessons and dance class. Zack and Jake are doing guitar lessons. Zack goes to middle school youth group at our church. Joshua is going to Catholic catechism classes. He is making his 1st Reconciliation this year. He is also in the chess club at school. ;)
Thanksgiving was fun. The kids had Wednesday through Friday and the following Monday off of school. We went to California and had Thanksgiving dinner with my parents, brother, and new SIL. They are pregnant and due with my niece of nephew in January!! It is killing me that they are waiting until the delivery to find out! I am so impatient! I mean, it helps that my hubby is a radiologist and could tell the gender the minute the ultrasound tech scanned over that area! But anyways. I am going to take a guess and make a prediction and say the baby is a boy. My SIL told me they are only going to have one baby. I don't know how true that is, but if this baby is a boy then my parents will have all biological grandsons and no biological granddaughters. I don't think this matters to them. I'm just making a statement. They love my daughter exactly the same as my sons. Anyways, we went to Legoland (Cambria wanted to go as part of her birthday present!), Sea World, then to Dave & Buster's with my BFF from med school and her kids are similar ages to my kids, and then to Disneyland and California Adventure for 2 days. Busy! Whirlwind trip, but fun.
This blog is so lame because I can't seem to post pictures. If you could see a picture of my daughter, oh my goodness she is so beautiful. She is spunky and funny. My boys are getting so tall! My oldest has braces and they are already working their magic...his teeth look so good already and he still has like 15 months more to go! My dog Sophie who had her leg amputated for osteosarcoma bone cancer and had chemo is doing well. One year cancer free! I love that dog.
Life is fun and hard at the same time. My to-do list is a million miles long every day, but the kids are busy doing fun things and I manage to squeeze in some time with my hubby and family and friends. What more could I ask for? (Besides good health for everyone I know and love.)
If I don't get a chance to blog again before Christmas (which is a good possibility), here's wishing everyone a blessed holiday season full of laughter and love and good health and a splendid new year 2016.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Phone Call
Yesterday Cambria's birth father's mother (her paternal birth grandma) texted me and asked me to call her last night. It was the first time I've spoken with her since we left the hospital 3 years and 1 month ago. Sure, we have texted and messaged on Facebook and mailed each other pictures, but haven't spoken on the phone since the hospital in NC. We had a great conversation and got along well, she said she enjoyed talking to me and to call her again if I wanted and we could chat. :)
She said she loves getting the pictures of Cambria and to give her a hug and a kiss from her. I have always referred to her as Grandma and then her first name. I don't think my mom or MIL were upset by that. I hope not. Because she is technically my daughter's grandmother and the more people who love and care about her, the better. She told me she is so happy we are raising Cambria and Cambria seems so happy. I told her that if I was being perfectly honest, I was happy and grateful that she was so supportive of the adoption. She could have had her son contest the adoption and helped him raise Cambria like she is doing with 2 of her other grandchildren. I told her that had me a little scared until the adoption was finalized that they might take her back. She said she thought about raising her before she met me, and then when she met me in the hospital she told her husband that she loved me, and that I was the perfect mother for Cambria.
Oh my goodness. Cue the tears! Thank goodness this wonderful woman was in my corner!
She said she loves getting the pictures of Cambria and to give her a hug and a kiss from her. I have always referred to her as Grandma and then her first name. I don't think my mom or MIL were upset by that. I hope not. Because she is technically my daughter's grandmother and the more people who love and care about her, the better. She told me she is so happy we are raising Cambria and Cambria seems so happy. I told her that if I was being perfectly honest, I was happy and grateful that she was so supportive of the adoption. She could have had her son contest the adoption and helped him raise Cambria like she is doing with 2 of her other grandchildren. I told her that had me a little scared until the adoption was finalized that they might take her back. She said she thought about raising her before she met me, and then when she met me in the hospital she told her husband that she loved me, and that I was the perfect mother for Cambria.
Oh my goodness. Cue the tears! Thank goodness this wonderful woman was in my corner!
Sunday, November 1, 2015
November Already?!
I officially skipped blogging in October. Oops. To say this month was busy is an understatement. Fall break in Phoenix, baseball games for my son's travel team almost every weekend, Halloween festivities- party here on Friday after school for my 3 sons and their friends, then a party for grown-ups that Dave and I went to, then school carnival yesterday afternoon, then trick-or-treating last night, and our anniversary a couple weeks ago, and school tests and quizzes and homework, and I could go on, but I won't bore you!
This Halloween was kind of bittersweet. Cambria is 3, and really "got it" about the concept of trick-or-treating. "Trick or treat! Thank you! Mommy, I got candy!"
Oh my gosh. So cute! Adorbs! And she was the cutest Cinderella ever! (Also said by every other mom whose kid was Cinderella this year! lol!)
And then this was the first year my 8th grader did not go trick-or-treating. So sad. He went to a Halloween party at his friend's house with some of their friends from school. And so it begins. After this school year, only 4 more years and he will be off to college. So weird to even think that is going to be happening in the next 5 years!
Oh, and to throw a little adoption talk into this post, I had the adoption talk with Cambria last week....the 3 year old version of it. I had already told her she was adopted when she was younger, so of course she didn't understand me. But this time she got bits and pieces of it. She asks to look at the picture of her birth parents holding her at the hospital on the day we took her home a lot now. It's on her dresser. And she says that's my mom I grew in her tummy and I had my toy in my mouth (toy= pacifier) and then I say and they gave you to us to be your mommy and daddy and she says and they gave me a home.
OMG it almost brings tears to my eyes. So far she hasn't asked why. But I'm sure that's coming in the future. I love her so much, and I don't want her to feel hurt or sad.
I hope everyone had a wonderful October! I can't believe there are only 2 months left in 2015!
This Halloween was kind of bittersweet. Cambria is 3, and really "got it" about the concept of trick-or-treating. "Trick or treat! Thank you! Mommy, I got candy!"
Oh my gosh. So cute! Adorbs! And she was the cutest Cinderella ever! (Also said by every other mom whose kid was Cinderella this year! lol!)
And then this was the first year my 8th grader did not go trick-or-treating. So sad. He went to a Halloween party at his friend's house with some of their friends from school. And so it begins. After this school year, only 4 more years and he will be off to college. So weird to even think that is going to be happening in the next 5 years!
Oh, and to throw a little adoption talk into this post, I had the adoption talk with Cambria last week....the 3 year old version of it. I had already told her she was adopted when she was younger, so of course she didn't understand me. But this time she got bits and pieces of it. She asks to look at the picture of her birth parents holding her at the hospital on the day we took her home a lot now. It's on her dresser. And she says that's my mom I grew in her tummy and I had my toy in my mouth (toy= pacifier) and then I say and they gave you to us to be your mommy and daddy and she says and they gave me a home.
OMG it almost brings tears to my eyes. So far she hasn't asked why. But I'm sure that's coming in the future. I love her so much, and I don't want her to feel hurt or sad.
I hope everyone had a wonderful October! I can't believe there are only 2 months left in 2015!
Friday, September 25, 2015
September Happenings and Some Memories
Cambria turned 3 this week. How on earth did that happen already?! I can't believe she was placed in our arms 3 years ago! 3 years ago today, her birth mother signed her relinquishment/ TPR paperwork, and 3 years ago tomorrow we took our baby girl home from the hospital! Such an amazing time in our lives. I love looking back on that time with fondness for her birth mother. I watched her sign the paperwork (I asked her if she wanted us to step outside the room in the hallway, and she said no.) Talk about strength and determination on her part. I don't know if I could have done that. We texted each other and shared FB posts on her birthday. Things are going well with our open adoption. Cambria's paternal birth grandma posted a really nice thing on my FB wall too. I'm so glad she is supportive of the adoption.
We had a little party for her during the day with her little friends while the older siblings were at school. Then we went to Phoenix to celebrate with my parents and family friends at Chuck E. Cheese. Fun times! Then she took in cupcakes to preschool the next day to celebrate her special day at preschool. She received lots of lipgloss and nail polish for her birthday....2 of her favorite things!! :)
My 2 younger boys got their report cards today at their new school. They like it and are doing well. WHEW! Thank goodness! It is a lot tougher than their old school, and both of them did not get the best teaching last year....it was mostly a joke year for both of them last year, unfortunately. So we were nervous to move them to this new school that has a rigorous curriculum on the heels of their pitiful school years last year. However, everything has worked out! YAY!
Zack is in 8th grade, which they consider the upper school at his school. He is taking crazy hard classes like AP World History, Economics, Algebra 2, Mandarin, English, Biology, Chemistry, Biology, etc. Overall he is doing well. This school year is a lot harder than last year. He also wanted to play a lot of video games at the beginning of this year. I'm not sure if he was in denial that summer was over and it was time to put his nose back in the books?! He has gotten back on track though, and is doing well. He has also cut back on the video games. WHEW! Plus he is the starting catcher for the 8th grade baseball team (pre-team for the frosh team). He is the 3rd shortest kid on the team and one of the youngest, and he is managing to hold his own. His coaches are good, and they play the kids on ability, not on favoritism, and there is no daddy ball. Baseball takes a good chunk of his time, but it is good exercise, builds teamwork skills and friendships, and keeps him off of the video games and his phone!
I think I talk mostly about my kids and adoption on here. This is a hard school year for me.... I feel like I am 20 steps behind a lot of days. However, my kiddos won't be little forever. In the blink of an eye, they will be older and more self-sufficient and the house will be quiet and I won't be driving them around town for hours after school to their activities. This is what I am supposed to be doing now. It will be so worth it for my kiddos in the end (I think!) to have me around and available all the time for them. Since my kids are at a new school, I feel a bit cut off from my friends that I always saw at their old school. I have been trying to make an effort to get together with my friends for lunches or birthday celebrations.
That's all for now. Good night.
We had a little party for her during the day with her little friends while the older siblings were at school. Then we went to Phoenix to celebrate with my parents and family friends at Chuck E. Cheese. Fun times! Then she took in cupcakes to preschool the next day to celebrate her special day at preschool. She received lots of lipgloss and nail polish for her birthday....2 of her favorite things!! :)
My 2 younger boys got their report cards today at their new school. They like it and are doing well. WHEW! Thank goodness! It is a lot tougher than their old school, and both of them did not get the best teaching last year....it was mostly a joke year for both of them last year, unfortunately. So we were nervous to move them to this new school that has a rigorous curriculum on the heels of their pitiful school years last year. However, everything has worked out! YAY!
Zack is in 8th grade, which they consider the upper school at his school. He is taking crazy hard classes like AP World History, Economics, Algebra 2, Mandarin, English, Biology, Chemistry, Biology, etc. Overall he is doing well. This school year is a lot harder than last year. He also wanted to play a lot of video games at the beginning of this year. I'm not sure if he was in denial that summer was over and it was time to put his nose back in the books?! He has gotten back on track though, and is doing well. He has also cut back on the video games. WHEW! Plus he is the starting catcher for the 8th grade baseball team (pre-team for the frosh team). He is the 3rd shortest kid on the team and one of the youngest, and he is managing to hold his own. His coaches are good, and they play the kids on ability, not on favoritism, and there is no daddy ball. Baseball takes a good chunk of his time, but it is good exercise, builds teamwork skills and friendships, and keeps him off of the video games and his phone!
I think I talk mostly about my kids and adoption on here. This is a hard school year for me.... I feel like I am 20 steps behind a lot of days. However, my kiddos won't be little forever. In the blink of an eye, they will be older and more self-sufficient and the house will be quiet and I won't be driving them around town for hours after school to their activities. This is what I am supposed to be doing now. It will be so worth it for my kiddos in the end (I think!) to have me around and available all the time for them. Since my kids are at a new school, I feel a bit cut off from my friends that I always saw at their old school. I have been trying to make an effort to get together with my friends for lunches or birthday celebrations.
That's all for now. Good night.
Saturday, August 29, 2015
August Already!
It's been a month since I last posted! I've been so utterly busy with life this past month! The boys are all in the same school this year...the same school Zack went to last year. It is a rigorous curriculum. Holy cow! But they are all doing great. They are learning SO MUCH. Much more than the 2 little boys learned in public school last year. Unbelievable! It is such good food for their brains! They never say they are bored at school anymore. The 8th grade year is notoriously hard at this school. My 8th grader is taking an AP World History class! This is usually an 11th grade class in high school! He got straight A's all last year at this school, and even he said this year is much harder than last year already. In addition, he is taking Algebra 2/Geometry, Economics, Mandarin, English, P.E., Biology, Chemistry & Physics. Can you imagine?! That in addition to his fall travel baseball team 2 nights a week and on the weekends and his church middle school youth group meetings on Monday evenings and his weekly batting lessons with his batting coach and his Saturday guitar lessons. I am tired just typing this out! (Plus I am usually the one driving him to all of these activities!)
My daughter turns 3 next month. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy to see what new milestones are in store for her as a 3 year old, excited for her birthday party next month~ she requested a Frozen themed party, of course! I am sad that this amazing little girl is getting so big already. I loved the baby stage with her. She was the best baby and so sweet and always smiling. Now she has found her voice and her opinion, and is a typical 2 year old who likes to tell me no! lol!! She recently said to me, "Hold on!" And then she giggled and said to me, "I said hold on! Hee hee!" She is almost 3 going on 13! I've recently overheard her saying, "I want my mommy!" I love that she loves me, and I love that she wants me by her side. I love that she feels comfortable here and knows that I will meet all of her needs. There is an adoption book that the adoption haters like to bring up called The Primal Wound. I've read it. The book says that taking a newborn baby away from it's birth mother (for adoption purposes) causes this primal wound in them and that they know from that day on that they were separated from their birth mother and that is traumatic for them. From our own adoption experience, I do not believe this. I do not believe my daughter has suffered any kind of primal wound. I don't think she realizes that she has been separated from her birth mother, and I don't think she realizes I am not her "real mother" and did not give birth to her. I do think she knows I have been there for her taking care of her as long as she can remember (from 3 days old in her case), and that I love her unconditionally and she feels safe and secure in our house. Today she found her scrapbook from when she was a baby and was looking at baby pictures of herself. You should have seen her....she thoroughly enjoyed looking at these baby pictures of herself. And she looked at the pictures of each of my sons holding her as a baby, and she pointed out who was in each of the pictures with her. So cute! I have read countless adoption blogs and articles and watched countless TV shows with adoptees and I've seen how some of them have said that they always felt that they didn't fit in with their adoptive family, and felt this primal wound and sense of abandonment. I can honestly say that from watching my daughter and how she interacts with our family, she does not feel any different or like an outsider or like she doesn't fit in or belong here in our family. She seems so comfortable and secure here with our family. I do not feel like she is suffering from a primal wound due to her adoption. Will she as she gets older? Only time will tell. We shall see. I believe that when she is old enough to learn about her adoption in depth, she will realize we are not adopt-o-raptors (adoption haters like to call adoptive parents this name....like we swoop in and snatch the newborn out of their birth mom's arms! HA! As if.) And I believe she will realize she wasn't abandoned by her birth parents. Neither one of them wanted to place her for adoption, they were mature enough to know that they were not in a position at the time to raise her in the manner they wanted. And they both want to have some type of relationship with her when she is older.
One other point...and I may have talked about this in years past. Adoption haters hate when adoptive parents adopt newborns. They feel the newborns are better off with their birth parents, no matter what (which is a ridiculous stance.....babies are not better off with birth parents who are making bad choices in life and cannot support the children and cannot raise them in a safe environment.) But anyways, I've seen many of the adoption haters comment that adoptive parents should only adopt from foster care. Now, I think in some of these cases if the birth parents tried to parent for a while, they would not be able to do so in a safe manner and the children would be removed from their custody and placed in foster care. So some of these babies placed for adoption at 2-3 days old in the hospital would have ended up in foster care down the road anyways. A lot of those kids in foster care have endured so much hell that no child should ever be exposed to, and they have learned coping mechanisms and develop RAD and they subsequently have a hard time bonding with anyone. I think that would be avoided a majority of the time if they had gone home with the AP's from the hospital right from the beginning, and started the bonding process right away. Can you imagine being a child in foster care and being bounced from foster home to foster home? How scary. My kids cried when they went to preschool at 3 years old, and that was only for a few hours a few days a week! Can you imagine being 3 and living in different foster homes with different foster families? My heart breaks for these kids at the thought of this. However, I am not in favor of adoptive parents trying to adopt babies from birth parents who are able to parent and really want to parent. I am definitely in favor of biological parents raising their babies whenever they can.
We still haven't made it back east for a visit with her birth family yet. I thought we would have been back there by now! Maybe in the next couple of years.
Goodnight & hopefully I'll remember to blog in September! (After her 3rd birthday!)
My daughter turns 3 next month. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy to see what new milestones are in store for her as a 3 year old, excited for her birthday party next month~ she requested a Frozen themed party, of course! I am sad that this amazing little girl is getting so big already. I loved the baby stage with her. She was the best baby and so sweet and always smiling. Now she has found her voice and her opinion, and is a typical 2 year old who likes to tell me no! lol!! She recently said to me, "Hold on!" And then she giggled and said to me, "I said hold on! Hee hee!" She is almost 3 going on 13! I've recently overheard her saying, "I want my mommy!" I love that she loves me, and I love that she wants me by her side. I love that she feels comfortable here and knows that I will meet all of her needs. There is an adoption book that the adoption haters like to bring up called The Primal Wound. I've read it. The book says that taking a newborn baby away from it's birth mother (for adoption purposes) causes this primal wound in them and that they know from that day on that they were separated from their birth mother and that is traumatic for them. From our own adoption experience, I do not believe this. I do not believe my daughter has suffered any kind of primal wound. I don't think she realizes that she has been separated from her birth mother, and I don't think she realizes I am not her "real mother" and did not give birth to her. I do think she knows I have been there for her taking care of her as long as she can remember (from 3 days old in her case), and that I love her unconditionally and she feels safe and secure in our house. Today she found her scrapbook from when she was a baby and was looking at baby pictures of herself. You should have seen her....she thoroughly enjoyed looking at these baby pictures of herself. And she looked at the pictures of each of my sons holding her as a baby, and she pointed out who was in each of the pictures with her. So cute! I have read countless adoption blogs and articles and watched countless TV shows with adoptees and I've seen how some of them have said that they always felt that they didn't fit in with their adoptive family, and felt this primal wound and sense of abandonment. I can honestly say that from watching my daughter and how she interacts with our family, she does not feel any different or like an outsider or like she doesn't fit in or belong here in our family. She seems so comfortable and secure here with our family. I do not feel like she is suffering from a primal wound due to her adoption. Will she as she gets older? Only time will tell. We shall see. I believe that when she is old enough to learn about her adoption in depth, she will realize we are not adopt-o-raptors (adoption haters like to call adoptive parents this name....like we swoop in and snatch the newborn out of their birth mom's arms! HA! As if.) And I believe she will realize she wasn't abandoned by her birth parents. Neither one of them wanted to place her for adoption, they were mature enough to know that they were not in a position at the time to raise her in the manner they wanted. And they both want to have some type of relationship with her when she is older.
One other point...and I may have talked about this in years past. Adoption haters hate when adoptive parents adopt newborns. They feel the newborns are better off with their birth parents, no matter what (which is a ridiculous stance.....babies are not better off with birth parents who are making bad choices in life and cannot support the children and cannot raise them in a safe environment.) But anyways, I've seen many of the adoption haters comment that adoptive parents should only adopt from foster care. Now, I think in some of these cases if the birth parents tried to parent for a while, they would not be able to do so in a safe manner and the children would be removed from their custody and placed in foster care. So some of these babies placed for adoption at 2-3 days old in the hospital would have ended up in foster care down the road anyways. A lot of those kids in foster care have endured so much hell that no child should ever be exposed to, and they have learned coping mechanisms and develop RAD and they subsequently have a hard time bonding with anyone. I think that would be avoided a majority of the time if they had gone home with the AP's from the hospital right from the beginning, and started the bonding process right away. Can you imagine being a child in foster care and being bounced from foster home to foster home? How scary. My kids cried when they went to preschool at 3 years old, and that was only for a few hours a few days a week! Can you imagine being 3 and living in different foster homes with different foster families? My heart breaks for these kids at the thought of this. However, I am not in favor of adoptive parents trying to adopt babies from birth parents who are able to parent and really want to parent. I am definitely in favor of biological parents raising their babies whenever they can.
We still haven't made it back east for a visit with her birth family yet. I thought we would have been back there by now! Maybe in the next couple of years.
Goodnight & hopefully I'll remember to blog in September! (After her 3rd birthday!)
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