A Sad Day

The other woman who was battling breast cancer in my town lost her courageous battle last night.  A week and a half after the other young woman in my town lost her battle.  They were friends with each other.  I think they were both diagnosed around the same time back in 2009, and they both passed on so close in time to each other.  Unbelievable.

I  had heard an update last weekend that she had perked up and had some energy and wanted her phone to talk to people and wanted visitors.  I was happy that she was feeling better, then feared that it was her "final rally".   UGH.  I guess a couple days ago she became non-responsive.

She has two little children who are the same ages as my two younger sons.   I cannot imagine what her daughters and husband are going through right now.  So heartbreaking.  My husband was very sick and almost died a few years ago, and it was so scary but he made it. 

4 months ago, she was so vibrant and full of energy still.  Then right after Thanksgiving, things took a turn for the worse.  UGH.  It happened so fast. 

Why are these young mothers made to endure these horrible illnesses and have their last days on Earth be so miserable and full of pain and why are they taken from their families so early?  Why did these two young children lose their mother at such a young age?  It is horrible and unfair.  Yes, yes I know that life is unfair.  But still.

It makes all the stupid petty crap that goes on in life so meaningless and insignificant.

I recently became friends again with someone I considered a really close friend.  I was sad to lose the friendship when it ended a few months ago.  I'm happy we are friends again, and in each other's lives again....life is too short to lose friendships over the little things.  :)
So I thank God for that blessing.  :)

I'm still waiting to hear the details for the memorial service.  I am happy that she is now resting in peace, and is no longer in pain.

This whole thing just sucks so bad.   SO. DAMN. SAD.  :(

Shaking My Head

So today I was at a meeting with other moms of preschoolers, and this woman who I don't really know says to me, "I don't mean to be rude, but how and why did you adopt a white baby?"

OMG- yes she really asked that!  I simply told her that we were open to a lot of parameters including several different racial backgrounds, and this is what we were chosen for. 

She replied, "Well, it seems like people are adopting babies of other races these days."

Yes, I spared her the long story about parents are, in fact, adopting babies of all races.  And no, I didn't even ask her if she even knew anyone personally who was involved in an adoption.  I'm sure she doesn't and if she does, she doesn't know them well.

Shaking my head....

Next week I'm going to do another week of Wordless Wednesdays posts (and Mon/Tues/Thurs/Fri!).
So tune in, or don't tune in if you don't wish to be inundated with pictures of my babies!  The choice is yours!  ;)
(The principal at my son's school always says in the daily announcements "Make it a great day.  Or not.  The choice is yours.)

I finally uploaded pictures to my computer.  Yay! 

Final!

I found out last week that our adoption was finalized!  I wasn't expecting it to be final so soon!  I saw an email copy of our decree last Thursday.  Today I opened the original one that came in the mail, and I was crying so hard (tears of joy) that I couldn't read the words on the page.  Seriously.  It's a 2-page document, and I could barely read a quarter of it through my tears!  I love that baby girl so much.  The way that my family and friends have embraced her just warms my heart.  I know that she was totally meant to be my daughter.  God orchestrated this whole beautiful thing, and I am so thankful and overjoyed.  He made me jump through some hoops along the way and made me really stop and listen to what was right for everyone involved, and not just jump at the first opportunity that came along.  He made me learn to be patient (kind of! ha ha) and also to perservere and not give up if I want something bad enough.

When we were in North Carolina, we had to stay there for 10 days to wait for ICPC clearance- permission for adoptive parents to cross state lines with a baby.  Dave had to go home 3 days before me to get back to work.  Since we found out she was in labor that day, Dave didn't have time to plan ahead and request time off of work.  So he had to go back and I was alone in NC with Cambria.  I had to fly home- across the country- alone with a baby that I did not give birth to.  I was kind of nervous about this, and Dave looked at me and said, "If you want this bad enough, this is what you have to do.  Get on that plane with her by yourself and come home.  How bad do you want this?"

Well, anyone that knows me even a little bit, knows that I wanted my baby girl really badly.  So I put on my game face and somehow managed to get on the airplane by myself with a 10-day old baby, all supporting temporary custody documents, diaper bag, formula/bottles, stroller/ carrier (travel system), boppy pillow, my purse, sweatshirt, etc. etc.  Wow!  What an adventure that was!  But oh, so worth it.

I would go to the moon and back for that baby girl.  Forever!

5 Years Ago

Tomorrow is my youngest son's 5th birthday.  I can't believe it!  His preschool does this thing on their birthdays where the parents come in and bring pictures and talk about your child's life story...a story for each year.  So I was digging through old pictures to find some.  I am going to take in his scrapbook from his first year of life and I found some other pictures since then.  I found some of me while pregnant and one of them is of me at the front door leaving to go to the hospital to get induced and meet my son for the first time!  I remember that day so vividly!

Joshua had his 5th birthday party yesterday at the gymnastics place.  So much fun!  All of his best friends were there, and they got to run around for 2 hours!  What could be better than that?  He was having so much fun, he even passed on his own birthday cake!  He said he wanted to go jump some more on the trampoline, so off he went!  Is he my child?  No cake?  Especially when it's your own cake!  He decided last night after the party that he wanted some!  So he did get to enjoy his yummy cake.

January 14th, while wonderful because of my son's arrival into the world, is also a sad day.  The year before Joshua was born, our dog Syndey died on January 14th, 2007.  She was Dave's and my first baby!  I was so sad when she died.  I cried for months.  She was such a quirky, sweet and entertaining dog.  But I believe that God gave me Joshua a year later, on the same day, to make up for taking Sydney from me when she was only 7.5 years old.  I was supposed to be induced on January 15th, but I developed pre-eclampsia (what's new?) and my blood pressure was going up and my kidneys weren't behaving, so they moved up my induction date to January 14th.

Joshua is seriously the coolest kid.  He is the perfect mix of happy, smiley, funny, animated, silly, smart, athletic and friendly.  He can do simple math addition problems (it blew my mind when I first saw him do it!) and he can write all of the letters of the alphabet and he can also identify all of the letters of the alphabet.  He's in Pre-K!  So crazy to see him learning this stuff already!

I'll leave you with a funny comment he said at his birthday party yesterday:  all of the kids were sitting at the tables eating pizza at his birthday party, and he says out of the blue "Yeah, I'm just sitting here talking with my friends at my 5th birthday party."
I laughed out loud (literally!) and I was like, "How old are you?!?!  5 or 77?!
God, I love that kid.  Thank you for letting me be his mama!

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It Could Be Worse

There are 2 young women in my small town that are battling stage 4 breast cancer.  One I think I have mentioned before.....she is in her early 40's, was in MOPS leadership with me, has 2 kids the same ages as my middle and youngest son- 4 and 7.  She is so funny (used to stand-up comedy, I believe) and entertaining.  She is not doing well.  She was placed on Hospice last month.  Her liver has been failing.  It makes me so sad because there is nothing that anybody can do to stop this monster called cancer.  She has a blog and she is an amazing writer.  It's dinas boob blog (get it?  for breast cancer) at blogspot dot com

The other woman had (notice I used the word "had") metastatic breast cancer and also a primary ovarian cancer.  She also had a great blog, was a terrific writer.  Her blog was called something like drink water and breathe at blogspot dot com.
She had one of her surgeries back in 2009 at the same place my mom was having surgery AT. THE. SAME. TIME, and I had rotated with her surgeon when I was in internship.  I noticed him come into the lobby to talk with her family after her surgery, while I was in the waiting room waiting for my mom's surgery to be over with.  I didn't find this coincidence out until like the next day when I started reading her blog, and realized that's who my old attending physician was operating on.  I never got the chance to tell her this coincidence.  My friend had 2 huge benefits to raise money to help her with expenses.  I missed them both- one was the same time as my son's birthday party and I think I was out of town for the other one.  I never got to meet her.  And never will.
She started to do downhill in November I think and was recently placed on Hospice also.  She has two young boys, around 7 and 8 years old.  She passed away yesterday.  I have never met her, but several of my friends were good friends with her.  I found out the news on a Facebook post yesterday, and I started getting tears in my eyes.  I told Dave the sad news, and we started talking about Dave and all of his medical issues over the past several years, including his recent surgery.  He looked at me said, "See, it could be worse.  I could have passed away too."

Both of these women are going to leave their young children without their mother.  How devastating.  I would have been devastated as a child (and even now) if my mother died.  I am so afraid and almost paranoid that I am going to get cancer too and leave my children without their mother.  Because even though Dave is a great father, he is not me and nobody does things "the right way" like I do!  ha ha
Just kidding- but you know what I mean.

I think both of their breast cancers came back-out of remission- last January, and now they are probably going to pass away very close to each other this month.  Things come in 3's I always say- and last February my sister-in-law's brain tumor came back.  She has a grade 4 brain tumor (Glioblastoma Multiforme- GBM) which is a nasty sucker.  Go ahead, look it up-it's very scary.   However, she is doing well and is on chemo and is in remission.  So thankfully she won't be the 3rd person to succumb to their cancer any time soon.

So was this enough of a Debbie Downer post, or what?!  Sorry.   I am so sad for these women and their families. 

So True